Freezing Cold
by ZakuroU
Summary: Edward and his brother travel a freezing cold path. Alphonse has an empty, un-feeling body, but he has Edward to keep his soul warm. But Alphonse can't warm Edward at all, and now he's frozen right through. It's up to Roy to fill the spot of father and heat Edward back up... Even if he's caught a cold himself. Implied EdWin & Royai, humour mixed in. Not yaoi. T for mild swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**My first fic. Please don't flame, or Roy Mustang will flame you right back A HUNDRED FOLD! Kidding, kidding. I'll just be sad. And then I'LL RAWR! D8 Don't expect a masterpiece, but my friends think it's pretty good. Anyway, it's an angst-fluffy-humour-thingy, if that makes any sense to you. :D It's not Yaoi, for people that don't like it. And if you do like RoyEd, you can pretend it is, if you want. ^-^ Lastly, sorry if I make the characters seem a little OOC, but I didn't pay Roy much mind when I read the manga, so I'm not sure if I got any of his traits out of whack (I really ought to re-read it a few more times…). Same goes for Ed, only that'll be because he's funny when he acts like a little kid. And the story line will be kinda outta whack 'cuz I know that Roy was in Central when Ed found out about Hughes' (WHAAAA) death, but hey, it's Fanfiction! Also, I feel obliged to mention Allypallycally1, who is the entire reason this story is on the web! And this story will be broken into three chapters per chapter because that's how I wrote it. Now, imma shut up and let you read the darn story!**

Chapter 1; The Usual Office Antics

Colonel Roy (Flame Alchemist, Bastard, Pretty-cutie-manly-sexy-hunky Roy, Sarcasm, Hero of Ishbal, Flame-y man, Girlfriend-thief) Mustang yawned. Scrawling his name across yet _another_ pointless piece of paper, he sighed. He wasn't really watching what he was doing, not really. His eyes skimmed lethargically over the words, only noting key phrases.

_Money required… _scribble.

_State alchemist pay-check lowered…_ scribble.

_State alchemist pay-check raised…_ scribble.

**_REPLY IMMEDIATELY! _**Scribble. _Wait, better do that… later._

_Soldiers required to make enquiries as to…_ scribble.

_Marry Riza Hawkeye… _scrib—_Wait, what?!_ Roy snapped into focus, reading the letter.

_Dear Colonel Roy Mustang,_

_We would like you to give your opinion on the following matter;_

_Do you want to marry Riza Hawkeye? Sign below if you agree._

_Fuhrer King Bradley_

_ROY MUST -_

"HAVOC!" Roy thundered. "In here, NOW!"

"Y-yessir?" The Colonel's blonde, cigarette-loving subordinate peeked around the door, and then tentatively stepped into the room.

Roy motioned towards the piles of paperwork cluttering his desk. "I have enough papers to deal with as it is, so please refrain from making any personal distributions to this stack, or I will personally set fire to all the cigarettes you own, and then ban you from buying any more."

Havoc opened his mouth to protest.

"Yes, I actually can do that. So _don't _let it happen again!" Roy finished, tossing the prank document to the floor at his subordinate's feet.

Havoc looked disgruntled. "Yes, sir." Then he brightened. "Ha! You signed it!"

Roy looked blank. "What?"

He stood, craning his neck to get a better view of the paper. Sure enough, his signature was fundamentally there, scribbled across the dotted line at the end of the page. Plain as day. _Well, damn it all, _Roy thought, irritated. Havoc grabbed the paper and sped from the room, laughing gleefully over his shoulder as he went.

_I'm never going to hear the end of this_. Roy sighed resignedly and sat back down.

_Recent complaints on military efficiency…_ scribble.

**_COL. MUSTANG, RESPOND IMMEDIATELY OR YOU'RE FIRED!_** Scribble. _I'll reply… eventually_.

Chapter 2; Commonly Referred to as…

Curse the rain. Ruins everything. Picnics, football games, flame alchemy, going outside, and just about anything else Roy could think of. So basically, everything. Especially flame alchemy. And flame alchem-_ists_.

Roy stood outside of Eastern Command, grimacing at the expanse of grey, cloud-laden atmosphere commonly referred to as the sky.

_Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! It's not enough that I get _attacked _by paperwork, pranked by Havoc, develop a severe headache, get chewed out for not responding to a letter, have my lunch stolen by Black Hayate, be chewed out by Riza for chewing out the dog, then spend half an hour listening to Riza chew out the dog and finally get a phone call from everyone's favourite Fullmetal Alchemist (more like 1/3- metal shrimp), just so he could yell at me for giving him a false lead on the Philosopher's stone (which, of course, I didn't know was a dead end when I told him, I mean, he could at least be thankful!), but now it has to _rain_ as well?! Life can be such a troll, _Roy thought, realising he'd probably just pulled off one of the world's largest non-verbal rants of all time. And included the word 'troll'.

He didn't even have a ruddy umbrella. Using his briefcase as a rather flimsy substitute, the military man pelted across the tarmac to his car. _Damn today, _he thought. _Just damn it_.

At least Alphonse had been kind to him. The younger Elric had snatched the phone away from his ranting brother and politely apologised for the red-cloaked teen's short temper and sharp tongue, thanking Roy aiding him in their search.

The small pools of the dastardly substance H2O more commonly referred to as 'puddles', sloshed water over the State Alchemist's black boots and deep blue military uniform as he ran. The cursed sky-precipitation more commonly referred to as 'rain' had efficiently soaked him to the bone within seconds.

Finally, he was able to throw himself into the sweet, warm, dry, _silent_, subordinate-less-ness that was his car. Or so he thought.

"I've been waiting for you, Colonel Bastard."

Head-steering wheel.

The short-fused, short-statured, red monstrosity of a teenager more commonly referred to as 'Edward Elric the Fullmetal Alchemist' was currently occupying the back seat of Roy's car.

This was the sort of troublesome situation more commonly referred to as an 'Oh crap', 'dammit' or just plain SUCKY moment.

Chapter 3; Can't Think of a Witty Name for this Chapter

"How the _hell _did you get in my car?" Roy growled, head still on the wheel.

"Alchemy."

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting."

"What for?!"

"You."

"WHY?!"

"BECAUSE YOU MADE ME AND AL RUN HALFWAY ACROSS AMESTRIS IN SEARCH OF A PHILOSOPHER'S STONE THAT WASN'T EVEN BLOODY REAL!"

Roy rubbed his temples, trying to sooth his pounding head. "Shouldn't you be used to dead ends by now?" He grumbled.

"Every dead end is time we spend wasting, and the longer Alphonse has to stay an empty suit of armour!" Edward shouted.

"No-one said it was going to be easy! You should have thought of that before you tried human transmutation!" Roy yelled back, lifting his head from the wheel, on the very edge of losing his temper completely. He immediately regretted that.

"WE WERE ONLY LITTLE KIDS! WE DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER! WE WANTED OUR _MOTHER_ BACK! YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME, SO DON'T ACT ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY, BASTARD!"

There were many things Roy could have said to contradict everything Edward had just roared, but he settled for, "Look, Fullmetal, I am _so_ not in the mood for this right now, it's been a long day and all I want to do is go home. So get the hell out of here!"

Edward ground his teeth furiously.

"And besides," Roy pointed out. "There's nothing to be done about it now. You can't gain anything from yelling at me."

Edward sneered. Then he stopped and a slight blush hit his face. "Umm… Colonel?"

"What?!" Roy snapped back.

Edward's head hung in an embarrassed a sort of way. "I didn't plan very far ahead… I sort of need a lift."

Roy sighed for the four-hundred and twenty-five million, six hundred and fifty-three thousand, two hundred and eighty third time that day. "Fine."

He stuck his keys in the ignition and started off down the road. The heavy rain and foggy air made it hard to see and he had to pull over several times to check their surroundings.

"This is going to take forever," Edward complained, doodling complex transmutation circles on the misted window by his face. "Can't you find a faster way?"

"No," Roy stated bluntly. "Alright, Fullmetal. I would think it would be clear by now that we aren't going to reach your hotel. You have two options. Either come with me to my place or walk. And I wouldn't recommend walking. You won't get far."

"I'm walking," Edward deadpanned. "Alphonse will be waiting for me." He jumped out of the car and into the driving rain.

Roy shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Edward scowled as he watched Roy's car drive off into the rain. He lost after it went about six feet down the fogged-up road.

"Humph," Edward snorted. "Stupid bastard." He turned on his heel, walking off in the other direction. He paused. _Wait… Which way am I going…?_

He glanced around, hoping for a street sign or something that could help him figure out where exactly in East City he actually was. Unfortunately, he couldn't see anything more than a few feet away. Not even the ground. He glanced over his shoulder, disappointed to see that even his (now soaking wet) bright red cloak was barely visible.

"Well. This is just great." He started off down the street. Thirty minutes later, he felt something brush against the top of his head, knocking back the infamous spike of hair sticking up in the middle of his forehead, known to all as the antenna. He looked directly up.

There was a tree branch just above his nose. "That was close. If my head were any higher I'd have…"Edward paused, a blank expression on his face. "…crashed into that."

Furious, he snapped the branch right off the tree and threw it away in a temper. "I AM NOT SO SHORT THAT I COULD HIT MY HEAD ON A TRIPWIRE!"

One hour later

The rain was still pelting down as Edward roamed the streets. "D-d-damn. Aut-to-m-m-m-mail's getting s-sore…blah," he grumbled, teeth chattering like crazy. He rubbed his aching shoulder stump, trying to get some warmth back into it. He was ice-cold, and trembling like a leaf caught in a hurricane.

Glancing to his left, Edward realised there was a letter box right up in his face. He read the address with a sneer. _You gotta be kidding me, _he thought, irked. _This is the Colonel Bastard's house!_

**Hope you enjoyed. Please review if you want to tell me something. Even if it's to say I suck like a vacuum. Please don't tell me that though!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter the next one; Unexpected… Or rather, Expected.**

Finally, Roy's car pulled up outside his house. _Thank goodness, _he thought.

He stepped out, locking the door behind him before fleeing the pelting rain. He struggled with the lock for a while before slamming the door behind him and leaning against it as if the rain itself was trying to break in.

Roy padded down the hallway, tossing his coat at the hat-rack as he passed, not even bothering to attempt drying the thick material. He changed from his sopping wet military uniform into a pair of black trousers and a simple white shirt. He looked to the clock. It was still early, so he pulled out some of his unfinished paperwork.  
An hour later, he made tea.

Personally, he preferred coffee, but he wanted to sleep and coffee was not good for that. Just as he raised the cup to his lips there was a loud knock at the door. Roy sighed for the twenty-five million, six hundred and fifty-three thousand, two hundred and eighty-_fourth_ time that day. _What now?_

* * *

"I should have known."

Roy stood leaning against the door-frame, smirking at the sight before him. Edward Elric stood scowling before him, thoroughly saturated, with a disgruntled expression plastered all over his dripping wet face. "Th-th-this. Is. N-not. F-f-f-funny," he grumbled.

"Of course not. You're just a little wet."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO LITTLE THAT HE'D BE DROWNED IN THE WATER YOU WRING OFF YOUR WET COAT?!"

"Why, you, of course," Roy replied, still smirking. Then, as if it were an afterthought, he added, "But I think anyone would be drowned in what I managed to wring out of my coat."

Edward remained silent, scowling. When he finally spoke, it was to say, "I c-can't get to the hot-t-tel. It's raining too h-hard and I can't s-s-see."

"No surprises there," Roy replied with an I-told-you-so look on his face.

"Shad-d-dup, you smug b-bastard." Edward folded his arms in annoyance.

After a few moments, Roy spoke up once more. "I suppose you'll be wanting in here, then."

"W-well, I d-don't r-really hav-v-ve anywhere else t-to g-g-go. I only know where you l-live 'round here and I c-can hardly go l-l-looking for the hotel n-now, so…yeah." Edward's scowl deepened. "And I r-really hate having t-to c-come to you. Just so y-you know."

"Whatever," Roy said, stepping aside for the young State Alchemist, smirk ever present.

Edward's sour expression remained too as he made his way down the hallway.

"The bathroom is that way. There are dry towels in the cupboard. I'll look, but I don't think I have anything small enough for you," Roy told him.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT YOU'D LOSE HIM IN YOUR SHIRT POCKET?!"

"Just go dry yourself. You're dripping all over the carpet," Roy ordered.

"Carpet-shmarpet," Edward muttered.

**Chapter 5 or whatever; Awkward moments**

"Damn Colonel Bastard. And his damn carpets. Damn rain. Keepin' me away from Al. I was s'posed to help him polish his armour..." Edward grumbled, keeping his arms close to his body for warmth. "Can't have him getting rusted…"

The Fullmetal Alchemist sighed, dropping the towel he'd been using to dry his limp blonde hair. He'd promised Alphonse they'd do something fun tonight. A board game or something. In all the stress they'd been through lately, the two brothers hadn't had a second of time to themselves.

And now, even the weather was against them.

_Alphonse…_Edward thought sadly. _You're probably all flustered right about now. _ A faint smile crossed his face, but then vanished.

He whipped on the oversized clothes Roy had left him, a pale blue T-shirt and grey trousers. Then he threw his hair in a messy braid and tossed his towel at a towel rack, racing from the room.

"Mustang!" He shouted, charging into the living room.

The Colonel was on a sofa, facing a recently lit fire. He was drinking what appeared to be tea whilst staring at the flames as if they held the answers to all the questions mankind could ask. "What is it, Fullmetal?" He drawled.

"I need to borrow your phone."

"…" There was an awkward silence for a while as Roy drank some more of his tea. This annoyed Edward to no end.

Then he got it.

"Colonel Bastard, may I please use your phone?" Edward asked with a sickly sweet voice and a false smile.

"You may," Roy replied monotonously. Some more awkward moments passed.

"Uh, where is it?" Edward asked finally.

"In the study."

"Okay." The blonde alchemist turned to leave.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Roy asked, looking at Edward for the first time since he'd entered the room, eyebrow raised.

"I don't think so," Edward responded flatly.

Awkward pause x3.

Now it was Edward's turn to sigh. "Thank you, Colonel Bastard."

The false sweetness was almost visible in the air.

**Chappie the Sixth; Alphonse**

_Ri-riing! Ri-riing! _Alphonse jumped up and grabbed the phone off the wall, holding it to the side of his helmet. "Brother?! Is that you?!" He asked frantically.

"Yeah. Sorry tho worry you, Al. But I don't think I'll make it back tonight. I can't see through the rain. It's falling like bullets out there." Edward's voice crackled through the line.

Relief flooded Alphonse's hollow body. "Wh-where are you then?" The younger Elric asked worriedly.

"I'm at Colonel Mustang's place."

Alphonse clutched the phone tight in his so-called hands. "Are you dry? Do you have clothes to wear? Do you need anything? I can come 'round if you want," Alphonse fretted over the phone.

"I'm fine, Al. And I don't need anything. You wouldn't make it here anyway. The rain could wash off your blood-seal," Edward answered. "Look, I'm really sorry about tonight… I tried to make it back, I really did. For a couple of hours. I can't even find my way…home."

The line went silent for a bit.

"It's okay. We'll do it some other time. But make sure you stay warm. I don't want you catching a cold now! And make sure you eat what he gives you… And drink your milk, okay?"

"I'LL NEVER TOUCH THAT REPULSIVE COW EXCRETION AS LONG AS I LIVE!"

"Oh, and brother, make sure your auto-mail doesn't rust…"

On the other end of the line, Edward held the phone to his ear, listening to his brother's distinctly child-like voice. He wasn't really listening to the words, just the voice.

The voice. That voice. _His _voice.

Sometimes the voice was the only thing that reminded Edward his brother was still there. To look at him, all one would see was that huge, cold suit of armour. And there were still times when Edward panicked. _Where's my brother?! Who's this stranger?! _And then Alphonse spoke, and it was the most reassuring thing the young alchemist could hear.

Edward smiled. But it wasn't a happy smile. He wasn't happy. But he wasn't sad either. He was angry.

_Enraged._

Why should Alphonse have to suffer? Why couldn't he have lived normally, like a normal person? Like a normal 14-year-old?

_Because of you._

A bolt of guilt flashed through Edward's chest. _It was your idea. You made him that way. You made him like that.  
_Edward frowned. _I'm sorry, Al. Really sorry._

But no matter how many how many times he said it, or thought it, the guilt wouldn't leave.

_It won't ever leave. Not until I get Al his body back. Even if that means... _Edward clenched his auto-mail fist.  
"Brother?" The question in Alphonse's voice broke into his elder brother's thoughts.

"Yeah?" He responded.

"Ah. You are there. I was starting to think you'd tuned out," Alphonse said.

"No such luck. You're still stuck with me."

"Brother, you make it sound as if it's a bad thing. I'm always happy to be with you, even though I see you nearly every day," Alphonse said. He paused. "Well, see you soon, brother. Don't annoy the Colonel too much. And remember you manners! Don't forget to thank him when you leave!"

"Yeah, yeah. Will do. See you soon, Al," Edward farewelled his younger brother.

"Bye, brother."

They didn't make a move for the next few seconds, both reluctant to hang up. Finally, Edward gave a reluctant 'bye' and set the phone back on the wall.

He stared at it for a while, almost wanting to pick it back up and call Alphonse again.

Then he murmured, "Sorry, Al," and turned to leave.

But as he did, a flash of movement caught his eye.

**OooOoOOoHh!1! Suspenseful, isn't it? There isn't much of the stuff in the description in these first chapters, but there will be next chapter. BTW, if you do leave constructive criticism (which I appreciate) tell me I did something good at the end. Or I might think I've offended you! D8 Hope you enjoyed.**


	3. Chapter 3

3 + 4 = this Chapter; Curiosity Killed the Dog

Roy returned his teacup to the cupboard after washing it. He stared warily at the plain white walls before heading back to the living room. As he passed the study, he caught a snippet of the Elric brothers' conversation.

"…Look, I'm really sorry about tonight… I tried to make it back, I really did. For a couple of hours. I really am hopeless sometimes. I can't even find my way…home."

Roy, paused to listen, feeling a twinge of pity towards the boy. _Home… A simple word, but a meaningful one… And Fullmetal is missing one. _He scolded himself. _Hey, this is Fullmetal we're talking about. A wanderer. He wouldn't miss something as trivial as that…would he?_

Curious, Roy peered through the gap between the door and the wall. _They say that curiosity killed the cat… Good thing I'm the 'military's dog', huh?_

Edward wasn't saying anything, but for once, emotion showed clear and true on his normally stoic face.

Guilt. Guilt and regret.

Roy saw Edward glance at his auto-mail arm, now visible due to lack of sleeves and gloves, and clench his fist tightly. His face was a picture of raw emotion.

Suddenly, his expression changed. Now it was just the same as usual. There was no sign of the feelings the young alchemist had displayed before, but Roy would not forget what he'd seen.

"Yeah?" Edward spoke again.

"…"

"No such luck, you're still stuck with me." Edward listened intently to the next part, smiling ever so slightly. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Will do. See you soon, Al."

Roy made no move, waiting for Edward to put the phone down, but he didn't. Several seconds passed before the teen gave a quick 'bye' and hung up.

Roy, still fixated on watching the boy, made no attempt to leave

Edward stared at the phone for a bit, looking a little sad. Then he mumbled, "Sorry, Al."

He turned.

Roy ducked away behind the door, but a second too late. _Crap! He spotted me! _Roy panicked a little.

"Mustang?! Is that you?!" Edward called out.

Roy remained silent pressed against the wall.

Chapter 8; A new Combo: Nose-door!(This might be a little hard to read, but please bear with me. ^-^ ")

"It's no use hiding!" Edward shouted, storming into the hallway. "I've already seen you!"

He flung open the door, smacking it into Roy's nose. He uttered a muffled 'Ouch!' as Edward looked about. The teen swung the door back to reveal Roy standing there holding his nose, which was now a bright shade of red. "Whad was dad for?"

"Serves you right!" Edward crossed his arms glaring at the Colonel. "You were eavesdropping!"

"Aw, come on! I was odly dere for 'alf deh codversashoond!" Roy replied, still clutching his nose. "You cad 'ardly call dat eavesdrobbing! I was merely a vigdim of cigumztance! Juzt walging past an' I 'erd your voice! Id was unindenshunal!" Blood began to seep from behind his hands.

Edward started to snicker, a large grin spreading across his face. "Sorry, Mustang. I have no idea what you're saying."

"Dad's 'cuz you sbashed by dose indo a door!"

Edward broke into a fit of laughter, unable to hold it in any longer."You…sound…so _funny!" _He wheezed.

"Shuddup, Vullmedal!"

This only served to make Edward laugh harder. Panting, he fell to the ground.

Roy glared. He was about to snap back, but then realised it was pointless. The shrimp would probably just laugh at him some more. So instead, he turned and went to clean himself up.

He walked into the bathroom and stood before the mirror, inspecting the damage dealt to his nose. He splashed it with water to clear the blood, trying to keep his clothes dry. _Damn Fullmetal. I let him stay the night and his way of thanking me is to almost break my nose, _Roy thought grumpily.

He stopped and glanced up, catching his reflection in the mirror. Deep, dark eyes ringed with days of stress and sleepless nights, messy black hair that hadn't been washed since who-knows when, and pale skin, outlining the black of his eyes acutely.

Other people often told him he and Edward had a lot in common. Personally, he didn't see it. The boy was a hot-headed bean-sprout, always charging head-on into a fight without so much as an afterthought. Sure, people who'd known him when he was young could argue that he'd been that way during his teenage years, but not anymore.

But if even Riza Hawkeye said it there must be some shred of truth.

_What was he talking to his brother about? I wonder if things are okay between those two. I wonder if I could help._

These un-answered questions flew through Roy's exhausted mind. He could practically see Riza scolding him for ignoring Edward's apparent distress.

"Well… I don't know what I would say…" he muttered, rubbing the blood off his lips. He sighed again, for the four hundred and whatever millionth time.

He wondered what Riza would say to him if she were here. He smiled. She gave him much better advice than anyone he knew.

Then it struck him.

FLAAAAASHBACKO!

"Edward is rather like a younger, more impulsive version of yourself, sir," Riza said thoughtfully.

"You think so?" Roy replied, glancing up from his paperwork. His lieutenant looked at him with a 'head back down!' look. Roy obeyed that look.

"Yes, sir. I really do."

"Hmm." Roy looked over another letter, casting a sneaky glance up at the woman. Her face said she wasn't lying. _A younger me, eh? That's kinda funny._

FLAAAAASHFORWARDO!

_A younger me? If I addressed him as I might have done myself… _Roy turned off the tap, smirking nervously. _…Then he mightn't kill me._

Walking back to the main room, now sporting both a headache and a throbbing nose, Roy flopped onto the leather sofa, closing his eyes. _I'll just…wait here for a second…_

The Chapter before 10; ZZZ (Also known as the Chapter with the unbefitting name…)

Half an hour later, a time that Edward had spent doing God-knows-what, Roy's eyes were still closed. "ZZZ… ZZZ…"

"Hey, Mustang!"

"ZZ—Wha-?" Roy's eyes snapped open.

"Are you gonna sleep on the couch or what?" Edward cocked his head, hands on his hips.

"Not anymore…" Roy mumbled blearily, rubbing his head.

Edward remained before him, glaring, for a good thirty seconds before Roy finally spat out the word, "What?"

"Where am I s'posed to sleep?" Edward stated bluntly.

"The spare room…" Roy yawned, pointing down the hall with his thumb, "…is up the stairs then on your right."

"Right." Edward made to head upstairs.

"Just a minute, Fullmetal," Roy said, reaching forward to grab Edward's flesh arm. He glanced at it, sharp eyes picking up black and blue bruises spread across the teen's knuckles. _Hmm… What has he been punching?_

Edward let out a massive groan. "What is it?" He grumbled, swinging back to face Roy.

The Flame Alchemist raised an eyebrow. "Is there something on your mind?"

"No," Edward deadpanned once more.

Roy gave the boy an incredulous look. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Roy stood, looking Edward in the eyes. The boy blinked several times. His nose twitched. Roy scrutinised him with narrowed eyes. Edward glanced up, then to the left.

"You're lying."

"AM NOT!" Edward protested. "Now push off, bastard!" He whirled around on the spot huffing. Roy still had his arm.

"I saw you in the study. You can't honestly pull that expression then expect to get away with telling me there's nothing wrong," Roy snorted. "I'm not an overly emotional man, and neither are you. So just tell me what's bothering you and then I'll let you go."

Now it was Edward's turn to pull a disbelieving expression. "You expect me to trust _you_ with my problems?" He almost laughed, it was so ridiculous.

"Ha. You admitted you have a problem." Roy folded his arms.

"Tch. Leave me alone." Edward tried to pull his arm free, but Roy had a tight grip. "Let _GO!_"

The teen whirled around, his auto-mail fist aimed for Roy's head. The colonel's fighting instinct kicked in and he caught the incoming blow with his elbow. It stung like hell and would probably leave a nasty bruise, but at least it wasn't his face.

"I said _LET F***ING GO!" _With a grunt of effort, Edward swung up and around. Using Roy's grip on arms as hand-holds, the boy attempted to kick straight down on his superior's head.

Roy, sensing the shift in weight, dropped Edward's arms and the two sprang apart, both now in fighting stances.

Roy's eyes narrowed as he worked through a series of counterblows to the attacks Edward normally made.

The young blonde alchemist glared for a bit before dropping his arms. "This is pointless," he decided.

Roy dropped his stance too, still alert for a trap. "I'm glad you realised that, Fullmetal."

"…" Edward just stood at the other end of the room, glaring with smouldering amber eyes.

"So, are you going to talk, or will I have to make you?" Roy asked.

Edward snorted. "How could you possible hope to _force _me?"

Roy's face remained impassive. "Four words. Alphonse. Body. Court martial. Figure it out."

Edward's face paled. "Y-you wouldn't…!" He croaked, horrified.

Roy's expression didn't change. "Try me."

**Oh, look! What's this? I'm such a kind, suspense-hatin' person that Imma give ya' the next Chapter, free of charge! How generous am I? Totally. *Smirks self-centredly.* I present to you,**CHAPTER THE TENTH; EDWARD'S PROBLEM!

Edward's fist clenched and un-clenched as he teetered on the edge of indecision.

On one side there was Roy, and exposing his weaknesses. He would rather take apart his auto-mail piece by piece, painfully, then _eat _it than willingly go to the man and expose his vulnerability. Especially not after what had happened today. Edward tapped his fingers on his auto-mail arm against his leg, frowning.

On the other side there was Alphonse, his beloved brother. If Roy meant what he said, then the younger Elric would almost certainly be carted off to some lab somewhere and be taken apart to have his blood-seal examined, and be experimented on and… Edward could never betray his brother that way.

Just _never_. He had to put Alphonse before himself and take the fall.

Even if it took him an hour just to spit out the words.

"Alright, fine!" Edward flicked his head, conceding bitter defeat. "But it's only for Al's safety!"

"Good. Now what is it?" Roy padded around the coffee table to sit on his sofa. _This is good, _he thought, trying to reassure himself. _As long as Edward cooperates and doesn't start acting like a five-year-old… _Then a thought hit Roy. _Why am I doing this again? Oh, right, it's because…_

Roy's train of thought faltered as he watched Edward make his way over to the couch opposite and flop down with a loud huff. _It's because… Actually, I don't quite recall…_

Edward opened his mouth, then closed it again. He glanced to the side uncomfortably, then back at Roy. "I, uh…" He pulled a face. "Y'see, it's because… ah…" Struggling to word his thoughts, Edward sat for a bit, twiddling his fingers in agitation. "Umm…"

Roy waited patiently, watching Edward with dark, intent eyes. He understood what was going on in the youth's head. All the words were there in Edward's mind, clear as day, he just couldn't speak. Not only had Edward become used to keeping his problems to himself, but it was part of his nature.

And the nature of an older sibling. Especially in the Elric brother's case.

The elder kept up a strong, emotionless façade, so that the younger wouldn't worry too much. He would protect Alphonse forever, giving his life if he had to.

The younger had to figure out his brother's problems and reassure him before it became serious. He also had the responsibility of making sure Edward stayed healthy, reminding him of all the things he had to do to stay well.

An equivalent exchange.

Edward opened his mouth again, then said, "I umm…" He sat back on the couch, frowning deeply. "Damn this is hard."

Roy waited a while before his youngest subordinate was ready to try again.

"What I want is for… What I want for _Al_… I… Umm…" Edward stumbled his way into a second attempt. "Is that… Uh… I just want for him is to… Err…"

He grimaced, frustrated by his inability to simply _speak_. He drummed his fingers on the arm of the couch. "I just want…for Alphonse to be able to…to…umm…to be able to…to…to be happy…to be able to play… Uh, like every day, we're like, 'Let's go! We're gonna find the Philosopher's stone!' and then, every evening, it's like, 'We'll find it… Someday we'll find it…' And some day…" Edward's shoulders slumped, and he looked at his feet. "…just doesn't come. It's so frustrating. I can't imagine what it must be like for Al… Ah…AHAHAHA!" He started laughing nervously. "Why the hell am I telling you this?"

"Because I want you to," Roy stated.

"Yeah, 'course. That's it. You want me to." Edward snorted in laughter.

"Just get to the point, Fullmetal."

Edward nodded, regaining his composure. "Like I was saying… What was I saying?"

"You can't imagine what it must be like for Alphonse."

"Right. That's it. I want for Al to be able to…have fun…every once in a while…to…ah, to…take his mind off all this… Whatever the hell this is. I don't know," Edward sighed, "He's still… He's still a kid, you know…? He's… I'm…"

"You're a kid too, Fullmetal," Roy said, as gently as he could, so as not to anger the boy.

"Yeah, but… I don't need… Like Al, he… He needs… Because I'm in the military, and I don't really… Gah!" Edward folded his arms. "It's hard to explain."

"I don't think so," Roy said simply. "You want for your brother to be able to live like a normal boy every now and then, but you also don't want him to know that you are stressed and you're worried that you'll never find a solid lead on the Philosopher's Stone. You want to be able to mess around like you did before and not worry about the world around you, just for a while."

Edward blinked. "You got all that from a few random words and a bunch of 'umm's?" He asked.

"It was pretty obvious after a bit." Roy shrugged, then continued. "And you're also thinking that your current predicament is all your fault, and yours alone. You know that your brother doesn't blame you, but you blame yourself enough for both of you. And you think tha t the only way that guilt is going to leave is if you restore Alphonse to his original body, even if you lose the rest of your limbs, or even die trying."

Edward sat back even further, astounded. "Y-you're right."

"Of course I am," Roy said, looking Edward straight in the face. "And I'm going to tell you this now; You are only allowed to blame yourself if other people blame you too. And no-one blames you. Not your brother and not me."

Edward remained silent, brooding on this. "What about… My mom?"

Roy's heart jumped. He hadn't been expecting this.

"I… I couldn't save her… I couldn't bring her back…" Edward whispered. "I dream about her. I dream that… She's angry because I couldn't do it…"

Roy was now officially lost. Edward acting somewhat like an adult he could handle, but give him a child, lonely and confused, and the man was clueless. He didn't know what to do in a situation like this. He didn't have the understanding of a child's mind that Maes Hughes had possessed, or the kindness that Riza Hawkeye had, and he most certainly did not have the skills of emotional reassurance of Alphonse Elric.

_Plit. Plit. _Roy heard the rain loud and clear. _Wait. That isn't rain!_

Edward was crying. "Crap!" The boy exclaimed, sobbing. "Crap, crap, crap!"

**Aww... It ended in a cliffhanger anyway... Sorry! Please review if you have time!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, guess what?! I'm back! Sorry for the supah-long wait, it's hard to get my hands on the laptop. And I promise, Ed's only gonna cry for Roy once, (my only excuse is that he's cute when he's like this…) so don't run away thinking Imma smashin' OOC-ness in this story all over the place. Because I'm totally not. Edward is more funny when he's… Edward. Also, just so you know, I've added a couple of traits onto Edward and Roy. Nothing major, just a couple of tiny things to help the story make more sense.**

**Chapter after-10; Call Me Roy**

"Crap, crap, crap!" Edward swore, hastily wiping tears from his face. "Th-this…! I didn't… I didn't mean for this to happen… Crap!"

Roy watched, surprised and confused, as Edward slammed his fist into the coffee table. "This… This shouldn't be h-happening… I just… Didn't want for Alphonse to live this way… I-I just…" Edward's voice fell to a hoarse whisper. "Just wanted mom back…"

Roy remained silent, pity almost overwhelming him.

"I'm sorry, Al. So, so sorry." Edward closed his eyes, lowering his head.

Roy's brow furrowed. "Edward…"

The young alchemist's head snapped up at the sound of his name. His _actual_ name. Not the name that was proof of his duty as the military's dog.

"Why are you crying?"

"I-I have no freaking idea," Edward sobbed. "I don't w-want to be… I just… I dunno."

Roy watched as Edward sighed and threw his head back to stare at the ceiling. "I think it's because… All this time, after… Alphonse lost his body and I lost my arm and leg… And there was… Nina… And Hughes… I sometimes wonder if what I'm doing is any benefit to anyone… It's been so long since we've actually _gotten _anywhere with this…"

Roy listened, with an unreadable expression on his face. Edward's weary amber-gold eyes swam with tears, and his cheeks were smudged with wet spots. The clothes Roy had lent him fell around his ankles and shoulders like limp blankets and strands of glossy blonde hair had fallen loose of his hastily thrown together braid. The auto-mail arm glinted dully in the light of the living room and his two mismatched feet barely showed beneath pools of grey trousers.

"Edward…" Roy began. "I don't think that any of the things that happened are your fault. They're only your fault if you wanted them to happen. Did you want for Hughes to die? Or Nina? Did you try to get Alphonse's body taken?"

"No! Of course not!" Edward exclaimed.

"Well there you go." Roy rested his chin on his palm, looking out the window. "Shou Tucker is the one at blame for what happened to Nina. He probably would have transmuted the girl anyway."

Edward's breath hitched in his chest.

"And Hughes decided to look into this matter on his own accord; you probably couldn't have stopped him if you'd tried." Roy felt a deep pang in his chest at the thought of his friend. "Blaming yourself is as good as saying you were the one who killed him. Did you kill Maes Hughes?"

"No."

"You know that he wouldn't want you to blame yourself. And about your mother…"

Edward gave Roy a suspicious look.

"There isn't really much I can say. But do you really think she would blame her own son for something like that? You were willing to sacrifice your body to bring your brother's soul back, and that in itself is reason enough for her to be proud of you. The only thing she'd have been angry at you for is trying something so dangerous in the first place," Roy reasoned.

"I s'pose…" Edward murmured. Then he shuddered, eyes wide and horrified. More tears spilled down his cheeks.

"What? What is it?" Roy stood up and stepped around to sit behind his subordinate.

"That… That day… The thing we created… It was horrible…" Edward choked ou. He stared forward, seeing something Roy could not.

"Look at me, Ed," Roy ordered.

Edward turned his head jerkily to face the man.

Roy flinched at the haunted appearance of his amber eyes. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

Inside of the boy, a voice was screaming at him to stop crying and punch the man out, but his mind's eye was stuck on the image of that horribly distorted…_thing_…that he and Alphonse had made.

"Edward. Look. At. _Me_," Roy said, grabbing Edward's chin.

Gradually, the terror in his gaze melted away and his eyes fell on Roy's face. The man spread out his arms. "C'mere."

"Wh-what are you…?"

"It's okay. I think you kind of need this," Roy said.

Edward looked apprehensively at the man. He couldn't remember hugging anyone since long before he'd left Resembool. He hadn't felt the comforting warmth of another person's body since then either. Alphonse couldn't produce body heat, so even if he tried… That was the whole reason for it anyway. So Alphonse could have a body. And if he had a body, Edward wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. So it was all just an unbroken circle…

Until Roy came in.

"Mnf!" Edward threw himself at Roy, unable to hold back his desire for human contact any longer.

"I-I wanna give Al his body back…!" Edward cried. "But the wh-whole world is ag-gainst us… And I'm so, so sick of the cold! I have to keep going, through the c-cold…a-and I'm freezing." Edward clung to Roy willing someone, _anyone_, to understand. "But you… You're warm."

Roy put his arms around the boy's shoulders, rubbing. One shoulder was warm, shaking with each sobbing breath. The other was cold, hard and solid.

Icy cold steel.

A thought hit Roy again. A half remembered lullaby. A song sung to him by his mother.

_Don't cry, little one,_

_Don't cry, when you're cold,_

_No, don't cry, don't cry,_

_In the freezing cold._

Edward's sobbing stopped abruptly.

_Did I just… Was I singing out loud?! _Roy realised.

"My mother… She used to sing that…" Edward mumbled into Roy's chest. "Please… Sing the rest…"

So Roy did, and as he reached the end, Edward pulled back, looking embarrassed. "Sorry… I don't know where that came from…"

"Are you okay now?" Roy asked, genuinely concerned.

Edward nodded.

"Good." Roy sat back, relieved. "For a second there I thought I'd broken you."

"Feh. It'll take more'n that, bastard," Edward glowered, still touchy about the whole thing.

"And just so you know, I wouldn't really have told the military about you and your brother," Roy said.

"Hey, Mustang?" Edward glanced to the side at his commanding officer.

"What?"

"Why are you doing this?" He asked.

"Doing what?"

Edward gestured with his hand at, well, himself. "Treating me… Like a father would," the young alchemist mumbled. "Well, like I imagine a father is supposed to. That jerk who be my dad… I can't remember him doing anything, apart from leaving."

Roy blinked. "That's what it looks like to you…?"

"Yeah."

Roy considered this thought. He did think of Edward as something like a son, but not overly. _Perhaps… That's why I was doing this. Maybe… I can do something for him after all._

This was a young person, barely out of childhood; going through things that no-one should have to. He had suffered immense pain, both emotionally and physically, seen horrific things, all whilst protecting a younger brother and trying not to look vulnerable, punching and punching 'til his fists were black, blue and bloody.

Yet he didn't ask for anyone's pity, he didn't ask for anyone's help. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and hadn't once complained. It was like he was trekking blind through a blizzard hauling along a burden of massive proportions, all alone, in the name of an older sibling looking after the younger.

And Roy was all too happy to take up some of that burden for Edward and help him through that blizzard.

"Mustang?"

"Please," Roy said, giving a small smile, probably the smallest possible. "Call me Roy."

**Chapter my-FAVOURITE-number (12); Rust (Also, I'm not an auto-mail mechanic so don't blame me for making a few things up here, it's all in the name of the storyline :D)**

Edward had two things that were rusting over.

One was his ability to socialise. He had never been a friendly social butterfly and his difficult life and stubborn attitude only made it worse.

The second was his auto-mail. Without his noticing, the rain had soaked right through his clothes and right into the hidden parts of his arm.

Edward was sitting on the bed of the spare room. It was a single, with plain white linen to match the walls. There was a simple dresser to one side of the room, but that was about it, apart from a large fireplace directly across from him.

Grumbling, he held the auto-mail to his ear and shook it about. There was a quiet sloshing noise. "Crap."

Now, at 8:00 his auto-mail chose to be a bother.

Roy poked his head around the doorframe. "Hungry?" He asked.

Catching Edward's awkward position, he frowned. "What _are_ you doing?"

"There's water in my auto-mail arm," Edward grunted.

"Oh. Well, um, is there anything I can do to help?" Roy offered.

"Well, you could try using your flame alchemy to heat up the water so it would come out as steam…" Edward's brow furrowed. "But there's always a chance the steam could get caught inside…"

"…Or it could heat up and burn your shoulder…" Roy muttered.

"…And if you do misjudge, the auto-mail could overheat and become soft…" Edward shook his leg.

Silence.

"At least it drained out of my leg."

"Quick question," Roy interjected, feeling rather like a dumb two year old. "How do you shower without getting water in your auto-mail?"

"I don't shower for long. And out in the driving rain for an hour and a half, getting thoroughly saturated… Some water's bound to get through. That's my theory anyway. I don't really know how it all works.

"I see." Roy walked over. "So, what do we do, exactly?"

"I dunno."

The two stared at Edward's arm for a while, thinking.

"We could try taking it off," Edward suggested.

"How do we do that? And won't it hurt?"

"Not really. And besides, it's better than being beaten to death by Winry if I go back 'cuz it's rusted," Edward pointed out.

"Mm." Roy scratched at the back of his head. "So, uh, how do we do this…?"

"I recall Winry saying something about an emergency release. There should be a…thingamajig…around here somewhere…" Edward fiddled with his shoulder for a good five minutes before he muttered; "Ah."

"You got it?" Roy cocked his head.

"Yup." Edward pointed at his shoulder. "There are two button type thingies there. We gotta push them both in at the same time then pull."

"How hard?"

"Really hard. Really, _really_ hard."

Roy nodded.

"The faster you do it, the less it hurts, 'kay?" Edward explained, trying to disguise the worry in his voice. He started tapping his foot nervously.

Roy nodded again, still feeling like a dumb two-year-old.

Only dumber.

Edward showed Roy the two spots he'd been talking about and explained what he had to do.

"Got it?"

Roy nodded a third time, placing his thumbs on the two spots Edward had indicated. "Ready?"

Now it was Edward's turn to nod. He no longer tried to hide the fear that had somehow managed to sneak onto his face. His foot tapping sped up.

"On three. One…two…three!"

Roy, truly terrified now, wrenched Edward's arm back with a grunt of effort. It came away with a loud, sickening, _click_.

Edward bit down on his lip and screwed his eyes shut as a ferocious bolt of pain seared it's way down the nerves in his shoulder and across his chest.

"There," Roy sighed, trembling as if it were his own arm he'd just torn off. "It… It's done now…"

Edward glanced down, realising that his bruised left hand had snuck around and was clinging tightly to the corner of Roy's shirt.

Roy looked down too, then burst into a fit of coughing.

Edward let go of his shirt, blushing. "Uh, whoops. Hey, are you okay?"

Roy waited a bit to catch his breath then nodded.

He set the auto-mail arm on the bed between them. They stared at it for a little while.

Then a little longer.

"We could try taking it apart," Roy suggested, shrugging.

"Guaranteed death by wrench," Edward stated.

"How 'bout we just shake it around 'til the water comes out?"

"Twenty wrenches."

"Hm."

"Let's just hold it up for a sec'." Edward reached forward and grabbed the metallic arm by the wrist, holding it up in front of his face.

A few drips fell out.

Edward jiggled it about gently.

About one hundred millilitres worth of rainwater splashed out and spilled onto the carpet.

"Oh. I didn't think there'd be that much."

"Meh." Roy shrugged. "It'll dry."

Too tired to bother going downstairs to fetch the safety matches, he pulled an ignition glove out of his pocket and, yawning, aimed for the ready-prepared fireplace.

"Wait!" Edward exclaimed. "Are you sure that's sa-!"

_Snap!_

Roy lowered his hand, blinking tiredly. "Don't worry. I'm the best there is at this. I can almost guarantee I won't miss, even like this."

Edward looked at him for a second, then looked to the fire, then back again.

Even in his exhausted and trembling condition, Roy had managed to calculate exactly how much he needed to alter the air current, how much friction he'd required, and then aim directly for the fireplace and get a direct hit on the kindling beneath the larger logs and strike it in just such a way that the whole thing burst into flames almost immediately.

"You are good," the young blonde alchemist admitted.

"I know. Now, leave it in front of that for a bit…" Another yawn punctuated the Colonel's sentence. "…it should dry."

"Tired?" Edward queried, one eyebrow raised.

"Just a little."

"'A little'?" Edward repeated, amusement lightening his voice. "You've been yawning all evening and you fell asleep on the couch!"

"Well, perhaps more than a little."

Edward stood up and placed his auto-mail on the floor a little way away from the hearth.

"Doesn't that feel weird?" Roy asked.

"What?"

"Carrying your own arm."

Edward simply shrugged. "This isn't my arm. Never has been, never will be."

Roy nodded, understanding.

"But it does feel weird being all off balance. Now my left side is heavier than my right instead of the other way 'round," Edward said walking back to the bed, stumbling slightly. "See?"

Roy stood and walked to the doorway. "I'm going to bed, Edward. Let's hope the rain has eased off by tomorrow."

"Yeah," Edward responded. "'Night, Colonel… Er, Roy."

He was still stumbling over the fact that the man had an actual name, that he could actually be called, by people.

"Ni-*yawn*-ight…" Roy rubbed his eyes and left the room.

Edward flopped onto the bed, tired and still trembling with the after-effects of the adrenaline rush caused when Roy removed his arm.

His last thought before he fell deeply asleep was; _this pillow smells like Roy._

Roy did pretty much the same thing after heading to his own room. Not even bothering to change clothes, all he did was toss aside his glove and was asleep in seconds.

**Chapter apparently unlucky number 13; In Which it is Night time…**

"…no…mno…" Edward mumbled in his sleep. "…Al…don' lee' me… I don' wanna be alone…not by mysel'… Liddle brudder… My li'l bro'er… Come back… Give 'im back…"

Roy's eyes snapped open on the ceiling. Even in deep sleep, the man could still hear Edward's distress.

"Gimme back my bro'er…!"

Roy threw off his quilts, exposing his body to the cold air of his room. He padded across the hallway to the spare room.

"…mom…mommy…anyon'…"

Edward's voice was barely above a whisper, and Roy was puzzled as to how he'd even managed to detect it.

He let himself into the room and went over to the bed. "Edward? Edward?"

Roy prodded the boy's shoulder gently. Unsure of exactly what he should be doing, Roy kept going with the only thing that came to mind. "Umm. Edward. Edward."

"…mom…dad… Dad!"

_Why is he calling for his father? He would never… _Roy's thoughts were cut short.

"Dad!" Edward snapped awake, his gaze darting about in terror. It settled on Roy.

The Colonel gasped and blinked in shock as he found himself in the tight embrace of Edward's single arm, the boy's head buried in his shirt.

"I-it's okay, Edward… You're okay… Um, Alphonse is okay…" Roy mumbled confusedly. _At least he isn't crying_, Roy thought.

"But I'm not you're fath… Oh, stuff it. Don't be scared. You're not alone. You'll never be alone."

Edward pulled back. "Roy?"

"Yeah, Um… I just uh… I came in and uh…" Roy fumbled.

"Oh. CRAP." Edward jumped up, mortified, his hair flying all over the place as he stumbled and started cart-wheeling his arm, forgetting about his new centre of gravity. He overbalanced and fell to the floor in front of the thoroughly burnt out fire.

"Th-that was an accident! I was dreaming and I thought you were, y'know, and I um, I was acting like a little kid and, um, sorry."

"That's okay. I understand. You were disorientated, and…" Roy trailed off.

"…and, y'know, I was scared, and…" Edward shrugged, his face a furious shade of beet red.

"…I just happened to be there…"

"…yeah," they finished.

An uncomfortable silence filled the air. Roy knew that Edward didn't want to share, and the man didn't want to make him.

It was like one of those moments in a manga where a giant ellipsis floats in the air above the characters' heads and they just sit there staring away awkwardly for about three panels.

Roy cleared his throat. "Just get some rest," he advised, leaving Edward in the room.

"Hey," Edward called softly.

"Yes?" Roy looked back.

"Thanks."

Roy blinked. "You're welcome."

**Lookie! No cliffie! And I'm really sorry about taking so long, I really am! I suppose you've figured there will probably never be regular updates on my story, but I'm really trying. Also, I'm pleased to announce, both Riza and Alphonse will be joining in the later chapters! Does anyone else out there think Hughes is totally awesome?! I do. He's great. :D Please review! They make me really happy!**


	5. Chapter 5

**YO! I'm back, pidgeons! I hate pigeons. You aren't pigeons. Okay, Allpallycally1 (whom I mentioned before) has finished writing a story! YAY! Congrats! All you people who haven't read 'For a Rainy Day', go read it! :D In response to Black cat's question, the next Chapter! Also, this story has had 1,249 views! Happy day! If as many people reviewed, I would be sooo happy... :D  
**

**Chapter-I-forgot-where-I'm-up-to; In Which it is Day time**

Roy yawned, rolling over in bed. Light spilled through the window and on to his face. _Good, _he thought. _It's stopped raining._

Then he snapped awake.

_Wait. The angle of the sun only reaches my window by… Half past 10! _He sat bolt upright, almost falling off the bed. _Crap, crap, dammit, crap, dammit, dammit, crap, crap, crap! I'm two and a half hours late!_

He jumped up, stumbled over the sheets wrapped around his feet and fell to the ground with a curse and a loud _thump_, his chin connecting painfully with the bedside table.

Half the blanket had fallen off the mattress and was draped across Roy's splayed limbs in a rather ungraceful manner.

"Owowow…" He moaned, rubbing his chin. "That's gonna leave a mark for sure…"

The door flew open with a bang. "QUICK!" Edward charged in, waving his lone arm in the air as if brandishing a weapon of mass destruction. This was probably a bad idea as he then toppled over, crashing into the wall. When he hit it, it was his side that made contact and he flinched as if it really hurt.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! TAKE DEFENSIVE MEASURES! OR OFFENSIVE! WHO CARES, JUST HIT 'EM!" He shouted, flailing his arm in an attempt to ward off whoever had invaded the room. Apparently he was only half awake.

Roy would have found the whole scene quite humorous, if he hadn't been feeling the amount of pain he was currently in.

Edward's shouts smashed into his head, the sheer volume almost bowling him over. _Loud… Too _loud_…!_

He blinked, spotting Roy on the floor. "Uh…" Then he started sniggering, finally finding the humour in seeing the Flame Colonel in such a position. "Have a nice trip?"

"Ah, be quiet."

"Don't be such a sourpuss," Edward joked as Roy pulled himself into a sitting position.

"No, seriously… Be quiet. You're voice is really loud…" Roy moaned, rubbing his forehead.

Edward frowned. "You okay?"

"Mnphf…" Roy moaned, rubbing his forehead. "Brilliant. A headache before work's even started."

Edward dropped down on the floor in front of the man. He reached forward with one arm, placing two forefingers on Roy's face.

"Edward, What are you-."

"You feel hot," Edward stated.

Roy blinked, puzzled. Then he remembered. "S***! I'm seriously late for work!" He attempted to disentangle himself from his sheets. "Why didn't you wake me?!"

"I was asleep too! I wasn't awake until you fell over and shouted 'F***'!" Edward exclaimed. "I thought you were under attack! And besides, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be going in to work today, 'cuz-."

"Whatever the case, I'm late now!" Roy growled, standing up. A wave of light-headedness crashed over him and he stumbled against the wall. "Ooh…"

"There. Y'see? I told you. I might not be an expert, but I know what a cold is," Edward said, folding his arms.

Or, trying to. He noted that arm folding was just a _little _difficult when you've only got one.

"Aww…" Roy slid down the wall and put his head between his knees. "My head…feels like it's full of cotton wool."

"That's 'cuz it is."

"Unnh… Be quiet… _Please_…"

"WHOA! The bastard said 'please'! It's the end of the world! It's as weird as Havoc quitting cigarettes! Or Hawkeye with a cutlass! Or Al swearing! Or me becoming a Christian! Whoa!"

(Which, of course, would indeed be very strange indeed because it would be a one-man religion for the simple reason that Christianity doesn't exist in Edward's world.)

"Edward… Stop…" Roy moaned, rubbing his pounding head. "Please just be quiet…"

"Okay, okay. Just messin' with ya'," Edward murmured, lowering his voice to a more appropriate level.

Roy mumbled something inaudible then sneezed.

"Alright. How's this; I'm gonna help you out here, and you're not going to tell anyone about… Yesterday," Edward proposed. "An equivalent exchange."

Roy looked up at Edward, once again unsure of how to react.

There was a fifteen-year-old boy in front of him, one armed, with his hair falling all over the place as he tried to tie it up with one hand. He was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and an oversized T-shirt.

The boy was almost fully cared for by his younger brother, and was now offering to take care of _Roy_.

_What have I sunk to…? _Roy asked himself exasperatedly.

"Fine, fine," he sighed.

_GROOWOWOWWL!_

"Ooh…" Edward groaned, doubling over. "Do you… Have…any food?"

"Try the kitchen," Roy suggested.

"Right." Edward stood, speaking quietly. "You should go back to sleep. I'll phone Lieutenant Hawkeye and tell her you can't come in today. I'm sure she'll understand. Do you want any food?"

"Mnot 'ungry…" Roy grabbed at his bed, pulling himself up onto it. "You do that…"

Edward left the room and charged down the stairs.

**Chapter 15… I think…; Stand back! I'm going to try cooking!**

"Food… Food… Food… Food… _FOOOOOOD!" _Edward muttered feverishly.

He pelted into the kitchen, his eyes darting about like those of a rabid dog. "Hungry… Gimme food!"

He threw open the fridge door, staring. "What's in here? Please be something edib-."

He stopped.

"You!" Lightning flared outwards from Edward's eyes as his gaze settled upon the white carton containing the vile white liquid that was his worst nemesis.

Milk.

Five minutes passed as the Fullmetal Alchemist glared into the fridge at the milk. _Five whole minutes_.

He reached around it and grabbed a couple of eggs and some bacon.

He dashed to the cupboard and snatched a can of beans and a potato.

To the breadbin, two slices of bread.

Back to the fridge, butter.

Drawers, frying pan.

Cupboard, saucepan.

Edward dumped all these items on the kitchen table. "Alright! I have no idea what I'm doing!"

He turned on the stove.

He put the frying pan on the stove.

He put the bread on the toaster.

He waited.

He cracked the eggs into a frying pan with the bacon, then threw the beans into the saucepan.

He stared at the potato.

He realised he didn't actually know how to cook a potato.

He threw the potato in the bin.

He stirred the beans then tossed the bacon onto it's other side.

Using a butter knife.

He smelled smoke.

He threw a fire blanket on the toaster.

He realised multitasking was a lot easier with two arms.

He barely took the eggs and bacon off the frying pan in time, then poured the not-burnt beans onto a plate.

He threw the eggs and bacon on to a plate as well.

Then he turned to the toaster.

He realised he could fix it with alchemy.

Which also required two arms.

He cursed.

Then he opened the fridge to get a drink. His violent slam last time had dislodged several items, including everyone's favourite whit cow juice, which happily proceeded to throw itself across the floor with a loud _slosh_.

"S***."

"Edward? What in the name of all that is good are you trying to do?"

Roy stood in the doorway with his face buried in his palm, sighing.

"Double s***."

Edward, who's hair had now fallen almost entirely loose of it's lopsided braid, was wearing his boxers and one of Roy's old shirts, holding a spatula in his hand and a butter knife in his teeth.

He was now standing on top of a chair in the middle of the kitchen, looking as if he were trying to fend off the milk surrounding him. Pots and pans were scattered all over the place, and there were bits of beans stuck to the stove.

The toaster chose this moment to spontaneously combust in a glorious blaze of toast scented fire.

"Triple s***!"

"Language, Ed, language…" Roy sighed.

**Chapter yeah-it's-16-I-checked; Break Fast**

"Ash you ca' tewl, I will pro'bly never earn a cayeer i' coohing," Edward mumbled around the butter knife. He cringed, expecting a shower of verbal attacks and lectures.

It never came.

Roy looked about, then started laughing. He laughed for a bit. "Geez, Ed. You really take the words 'break' and 'fast' literally, don't you?" he said, still laughing.

Edward blinked, removing the knife from his mouth. "Aren't you mad?"

"Well, a little, but you look too funny right now."

Edward looked around. "Sorry. I'll get started on cleaning this…" His stomach growled loudly. "Ooh, so hungry…"

Roy shook his head in exasperation. "Just eat what you can salvage and I'll get started on the cleaning."

Edward sprinted across the kitchen towards him and threw himself onto the floor, shouting, "THANK YOU! YOU'RE MY SAVIOUR!"

Then he jumped to his feet, and barrelled into one of the four chairs beside the table, throwing the food in his mouth gratefully.

It wasn't the best meal Edward had ever cooked, but then again, it was probably one of the only meals he'd ever cooked.

"SWEET RELIEF!" he shouted, almost inhaling the food.

Roy watched, scrubbing at the beans that had cooked onto the stove, with a somewhat exasperated yet content expression.

_'__Feed a cat for three years and it forgets after three days. Feed a dog for three days and it remembers after three years.' I wonder if Edward is a cat or a dog?_

Edward glanced up at him. "Mwut?"

Roy shook his head, still smiling. "Nothing."

The boy shrugged, then went back to eating.

He opened the cupboard and grabbed a packet of chalk. Then he strode over and drew a clumsy transmutation circle onto the kitchen counter. He clapped his hands and slapped down on the surface and the flash of an alchemical reaction signalled the repair of the toaster.

Roy sniffled, then sneezed into his shoulder.

"Ya' don' want 'ny?" Edward offered.

"No thanks. Not hungry."

"Well, ya'a hafta eat somthin'," the blonde alchemist mumbled. "Wha' was tha' sayin'… 'Feed a cold, starve a…somethin'."

"It's; 'feed a cold, starve a fever'," Roy corrected. "And besides, that saying is absolute hogwash. An old wives tale. Medical research suggests that when you're ill, eat when you're hungry and don't when you're not. In reality, the enzymes and white blood cells in the body's immune system-."

"Don't blind me with medics, man," Edward interjected.

Roy shrugged and began mopping up the milk and placed the dirtied dishes in the sink. Edward dropped his own dish in as well then started to put away the clean cutlery.

When they were done, Roy went over to the table and folded his arms, putting them on the surface and resting his head in the middle. "Mmm…tired."

"Why don't you go back to bed?" Edward suggested. "But there's something I need your help with first…"

"What's that?" Roy asked, lifting his head from the table.

Edward pointed at the limp T-shirt sleeve where his arm wasn't.

"Right." Roy stood up again and followed Edward upstairs.

"What do I have to do?" he asked, padding over to pick up Edward's auto-mail from it's position before the hearth.

_Geez_, Roy thought, looking towards the young alchemist. He was looking out the window. _I never realised this thing was so heavy. To think he runs around with this attached to his shoulder, and more on his leg._

"I don't like this part," Edward confessed, grinning sheepishly. "It hurts a little."

"Who would like it? It's having your nerve endings wired up to a machine," Roy said.

"Okay," Edward started, swinging his legs up on to the bed. The toes of his auto-mail leg seemed to be tapping involuntarily. "Here's what you have to do."

Roy started his dumb two-year-old nodding again.

"…and then you have to push it quickly and… Hey, Roy, why do you keep nodding?" Edward's eyes widened. "Don't tell me it's…a nervous habit?!"

"Maybe…"

"Oh, yeah! It _totally _is!" Edward teased, waving his auto-mail in the air. "Ooh! I found the almighty Flame Colonel's nervous habit! Aaoooo!"

Roy slapped his forehead as Edward jumped up and started twirling around the room in some kind of retarded victory dance, waving his arm about as he did so. He wobbled a few times, but recovered with a smirk worthy of his target.

"Every time you get nervous, you tap your auto-mail," Roy stated bluntly.

Edward froze. Then he whirled around to face Roy. "How'd you know that?"

"You're doing it right now. You did it when I threatened Alphonse, when we were talking, when I took out your auto-mail…and that was all today and yesterday."

"Blah." Edward sneered. He stomped back over to the bed. "As I was saying, after you got it in the right spot…"

Roy listened intently as Edward pointed out various spots on his shoulder.

"…you plug in that wire there, and that's the nerve endings aligned. All you have to do is attach it then connect my nerves. To do that, just shove it in."

Roy… No prize goes to anyone who guessed that he nodded.

"Once again, to that really hard or I swear I'll hit you. After that, twist this knob to tighten the clamps around the joins that attach the auto-mail to my body, which is also quite painful. That's how my nerves join up. Then; presto! We're done. Got it?"

Edward did not remove it, but rather pulled down half of the shirt he was wearing so that the port was more accessible.

"I'm not going to take a photo," Roy said. "You can take it off, you know."

Edward's head whirled around to face him, harbouring a threatening glare. "Why, did you want me to?"

"Hey, it was only a suggestion," Roy replied defensively. "Didn't know you were so self-conscious, Ed."

Edward huffed.

_There's something more to this, _Roy thought, sensing there was a reason behind Edward's reluctance to remove his shirt. _Definitely._

He fiddled around with the wires and other contraptions in Edward's auto-mail, doing exactly as the boy told him, and the young alchemist lay on the bed, tapping his auto-mail foot furiously.

"That's the last wire, I think." Roy sat back, wiping sweat from his brow.

Edward craned his neck, trying to get a better view. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it. Now comes the painful part. You see that knob-thingy there? You have to push that in then push in my auto-mail. Fast."

Roy…shook his head! Just kidding, he nodded.

"After that, just twist the knob and that should do it…" Edward bit his lip. "Please just do it quickly."

Roy's stomach knotted. "Okay."

He pressed the knob that Edward had indicated and the boy gave a convulsive jerk.

"Are you okay?" Roy panicked for a second.

"Fine…" Edward gasped. "Just keep going!"

"R-right!" Roy pushed Edward's auto-mail arm back into it's port and the teen flinched, letting out an unintentional exclamation of pain.

This sent a stab of discomfort through Roy's chest. _I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this…_

Twisting the knob with trembling hands, the man cringed as he noticed Edward's flesh arm had snuck up to grab Roy's own, sinking in surprisingly sharp fingernails.

"Stop, Roy… That's tight enough…!" He whimpered. "You-you've done it now… It's finished…"

Roy jerked his hands away, quivering in relief. "Good, good…"

Edward sighed shakily, turning his head again to look down at his arm. He twitched each of his fingers in turn, testing them with his eyes only half open.

"G-good job, Roy… You might run Winry out of the business," he mumbled, throwing out a half-hearted joke.

"Yeah…no." Roy leaned back against the wall, still shaking. "Phew…"

Edward held up his arm straight in the air. "No lag…good."

He cycled through a few movements. "…and finally, accuracy… good."

He turned to Roy. "It hurt a lot more than when Granny and Winry do it, but otherwise, everything is good."

"I'm surprised you managed to remember it all," Roy mumbled, closing his eyes.

"Ah, half the books in that grease-monkey's house are on the internal workings of auto-mail. It gets boring waiting on repairs and I figured a little know how couldn't hurt," Edward explained, sitting up.

Roy took a deep breath, then broke into another fit of coughing.

"Whoa! Steady there!" Edward reached out a hand and laid it on Roy's shoulder.

It felt really weird.

"You should get back to bed. I still hafta phone Hawkeye and stuff."

"Okay," Roy gasped out between coughs. "D-don't b-break anything…"

Edward helped Roy back to bed, where he flopped down and fell asleep before his head hit the pillow.

**You like? If so, please review! You hate? If so, please review! I wanna tell you something also. It's my birthday on Wednesday! :D So what better present to give me than a review? Also, there will be a lot of Edward acting quite stupidly next Chapter, so expect hilariousness! And finally, you know what's a good song for Hughes? 'One and Only', by Ed Sheeran! If you think you have something better, let me know! …I say 'also' too much.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Whoo! Sorry for the long wait; I type slowly! Haha! :D**

**Chapter 17; Free reign of the Colonel Bastard's House**

_Ri-Riiing! Ri-Riiing! _Edward held the phone between his neck and his shoulder as he redid his braid behind his head.

_That, _he thought, _was too close._

He looked over his shoulder at his back. _If he finds out about this he'll tell Al for sure… And he won't waste any time in confining me to rest!_

_Ri-rii- _"Hello, Colonel Roy Mustang's office, Lieutenant Hawkeye speaking. May I ask who is calling?"

"Hey Lieutenant, it's me, Ed."

"Oh, good morning, Edward. Can I help you? If it's the Colonel you want, I'm afraid he's gone M.I.A.," Hawkeye said.

"Yeah. That's 'cuz he's here," Edward replied.

"And where exactly do you mean by 'here'?"

"Oh. Right. His house. Yes. He caught a cold in the rain and he can't come in," Edward explained.

"And why are _you _there, if you don't mind my asking?"

"I couldn't make it to the hotel through the rain and fog last night so I crashed here. In return, I'm acting gofer for him. He's sleeping right now so you can't chew him out yet."

"Thanks for letting me know. Oh, and Edward…"

"Yeah?" Edward grabbed the phone in his hands, finished doing up his trademark hairstyle.

"Make sure that he eats. He has a tendency to starve himself when he's sick, and then he's too hungry to do anything when he's recovered, which is a problem as he has so much paperwork and it just piles up until it's over everyone's heads. Normally he comes in to work anyway and I can force feed him something, but if he's not here then you'll have to do it."

"Okay then." Edward went to hang up.

"Oh, and one more thing! Don't forget to call Alphonse. I'm sure he'll be wondering where you are if you don't come back today. Goodbye, Edward."

"Thanks, Lieutenant. Speak to you later." Edward put the phone down and turned around, thinking. "He has to eat, huh? Well, I don't wanna try cooking again…"

He puzzled over his options. "Gah! I need Al!"

He glanced at the clock.

"Meh. It isn't lunch for another hour." An evil grin spread across Edward's face. "So I've got free reign of the Colonel bastard's house!"

* * *

"And I, Colonel bastard, declare that all of my female subordinates must wear tank tops and miniskirts to please my perverted obsessions and-or desires!" Edward shouted.

He was wearing Roy's military jacket, which was gigantically oversized on his small-"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALL?!"-body, and marching about the house yelling about miniskirts, coffee, paperwork and the like.

The sleeves hung off the ends of his arms and the back was down below his knees and away past his boxers, creating a very unbalanced appearance overall.

Edward puffed out his chest. "Muahaha! I think I am _so totally great_, but I am 110% _useless _on a rainy day! WHOOHOOHOOHOO!"

He barged down the hallway, waving his arms about and grinning like a fool. The military jacket flared out behind him like a cape, a familiar sensation to him. "And you! Lieutenant Hawkeye! I decree that you shall marry me right now because I am to chicken to tell you how I really feel, and every time you touch me I go all goo-goo eyed and start blushing!"

Edward strutted into the kitchen, singing;

_"__Oh snap, snap! Spark, spark!  
It's time to light up the diggy, diggy dark!_

_I'm the flame alchemist and I'm gonna be Fuhrer!_  
_My beats are hot and my rhymes are purer!_

_I like the ladies in the miniskirts!_  
_I be posin' in the mirror without my vintage shirts!_

_I'm gonna set your heart on fire! WHOOSH, WHOOSH!_  
_And you know my heart burns bright too! KABOOM, KABOOM!_

_My fire power tonight is feelin' just right! KABLAM, KABLAM!"_

He then broke into a long period of beat-boxing, waving his fists in the air and pulling faces.

'Mustang's in it Deep' made the top ten songs in Amestris after it debut in the FMA Koma Theatre. Just about the whole country knew the lyrics.

"WHEEE!" He shouted, charging around the place. He skidded to a halt.

_If only Alphonse were here… he could have some fun too. Wait! Alphonse! _He spun on the spot, running into the study. _Crap! I meant to call him!_

Grabbing the phone off the wall, he punched in the number of the hotel.

A woman's voice spoke. "Hello, this is East City Hotel. Would you like to book a room or can I put you through to someone?"

"Room twenty-four, please!" Edward replied urgently.

"Connecting you to Mr Alphonse Elric now."

Edward bit his lip as he waited for the phone to pick up.

"Hello? Brother? Is that you?" Alphonse's tinny voice crackled through the line.

"Yeah, it's me. Sorry I didn't call earlier, there was a lot going on. The Colonel got sick and I'm here looking after him. I don't think I'll make it back tonight. Or tomorrow. I don't know when I'll be back, exactly."

"Are you serious?" Alphonse exclaimed.

"What, I don't know when he'll get better!" Edward huffed.

"No, it's the fact that _you're _actually helping the Colonel," Alphonse said, laughter lightening his tone. "I mean, it's a pretty well-known fact that you two don't exactly get along."

"Whatever! He helped me out yesterday so I'm helping him out now," Edward grumbled.

"Lemme guess; equivalent exchange?" Alphonse said, with a hint of non-existant smirk.

"Hey, I'm an alchemist! It comes naturally!" Edward snapped defensively.

Alphonse struck back. "Doesn't mean _everything _you do has to go by the laws of equivalent exchange."

"Well, maybe not, but it makes more sense than running around and giving everything away from nothing!" Edward scowled.

"Okay, okay!" Alphonse said, still with a hint of superiority. "Just take care of the Colonel. And don't you go catching his cold, brother. Um, be careful, don't break anything, don't be rude… Oh, eat well… And… And…"

"Okay, Al, I get it. And I won't get sick. You know me; tough as nails," Edward assured his younger brother. "And you! Remember to polish your armour!"

"Right! See you, brother. Oh, tell the Colonel I said 'get well soon'!" Alphonse chirped.

"Bye, Al." Edward clacked the phone down and glanced around Roy's study. He hadn't gotten a proper look at the place yesterday. To be blunt, it wasn't much to look at, and it was quite cluttered.

_As expected of Roy Mustang_, Edward thought nonchalantly. He walked over to the desk and rifled through a pile old photos and documents.

Most of it was made up of old certificates and bits of paperwork to be forgotten about, destined for the wastepaper basket. But there were some interesting titbits in the mix, such as an old photograph of Roy and his best friend Maes Hughes, and some other mates screwing around at a pub, grinning like madmen.

Edward poked through some more. A picture of a definitely drunken Roy scrawling all over an unconscious Hughes' face with thick black marker.

Then a photo of them both passed out, Roy on top of Hughes, who was now sporting cat whiskers, a triangular nose over his own, thick round glasses, a moustache and 'sucker' scribbled across his forehead.

Roy himself had been graciously transformed into a scribbly looking Dalmatian, complete with black spots and a lolling tongue.

Edward grinned.

Then a picture of Hughes' and Gracia's wedding, with Hughes and Roy standing together in suits and Gracia laughing behind them.

Hughes, Roy and a tiny Elicia, where a somewhat reluctant looking Roy was holding the baby, looking as if he was terrified of hurting her, and Hughes pointing and grinning ecstatically.

Scribbled underneath were the words, '_Are you scared you'll drop her, Roy? You look so cute together!_'

Edward recognised Hughes' hand.

There were about fifty odd photos of Elicia stashed in a folder off to the side of Roy's desk, and a picture of Roy, Hughes, Riza and Elicia had been pinned to the board behind it.

There were also pictures of Fuery, Falman, Breda and some other military folk pinned about the place. A massive poster featuring Major Armstrong had been folded and pushed to the back of the desk. The man was, as usual, shirtless and sparkling and the words '_For Constant enlightenment!_' had been scrawled across the top in swirling pink cursive.

Edward folded this and put it back where it came from. He looked up to examine the pin-board further.

There was an out-dated schedule up there, showing all of Roy's appointments for June in 1913. There was also an important-looking letter beside it. Edward started to read.

_Lt. Col. Roy Mustang,_

_We are glad to inform you that you are being offered a promotion to the position of Colonel…_

Edward read through the rest, discovering that it was a letter sent from Central regarding Roy's promotion to Colonel. There was a note stuck underneath the letter in neat, decisive handwriting. It read;

_Good work, sir. Keep going at this rate and you'll make it there in no time. –Riza_

Another note said;

_Whoo! Nice one 'Colonel'! Now there's still one thing to do… GET A WIFE! -Maes_

Edward smirked.

_Happy promotion, sir! –Your subordinates_

_P. S., GIMME JANINE BACK! -Havoc_

Straying to the left of the pin-board, Edward's eyes settled on a group of old documents. There were notes on Flame Alchemy, and Roy's State Alchemist certificate was up there too. Up on the top of the board, there was a To-do list written in fat, red marker.

_TO-DO;_

_-Make Fuhrer_

_-Find Maes' killer_

_-help Elric bros. find stone and keep them out of trouble_

_-DO YOUR BLOODY PAPERWORK!_

Edward's brow creased slightly. Help…me and Al? All along, we were that high on his priority list? And 'make' Fuhrer'? What does he mean by that? Is he trying to reach that rank or something?

Edward thought for a bit, slightly puzzled.

Just to the right of that, there was another photo. It had been taken outside of Eastern Command, and was of Roy and Edward himself, shouting at each other in a bout of squabbling. Well, the shouting was probably only Edward, as Roy was just standing there, calm as ever, with that infuriating smirk invading every inch of his psyche.

Alphonse stood in the background, waving his arms about and looking flustered. Havoc's face peered around the side of the camera, grinning, with a cigarette hanging between his teeth. He was pulling a peace sign with one hand and had obviously snapped the photo with the other.

_I remember that_, Edward thought fondly.

FLAAAAASHBACKO!

"Pipe down, you little bean."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT, OLD MAN?!" Edward shouted, shaking a fist in Roy's direction.

"You, shrimp-cake!"

"ARGH! WOMANISER!"

"Bean sprout!"

"OLD PERVERT!"

"Brother, you should show respect to people of higher rank!" Alphonse exclaimed.

"HIS RANK'S THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME FROM TEARING HIM APART!" Edward roared, thrusting a finger at Roy.

The man shrugged nonchalantly, looking bored. "As if you're even capable of such a feat, Fullmetal shrimp."

"GAH! YOU-!"

_SNAP! _Three seconds later…

"What the hell?" Roy blinked.

"Gotcha!" Havoc grinned cheekily, waving a camera at the three.

"Got what, exactly…?" Roy asked.

"I dunno. But it sure looks funny!" Havoc replied, waving the freshly printed photo in the air.

FLAAAAASHFORWARDO!

Edward smirked at this memory. _Havoc is such a dip sometimes…_

He flicked through the files in the top drawer of the filing cabinet, almost all of which was filled with military work or insurance papers and the like.

The next drawer down was full of letters from high ranking military officials and things that Edward had no interest in.

The bottom drawer contained letters from Roy's friends and associates. Things along the lines of;

_Dear COLONEL Roy,_

_Heard you got promoted! How do you do it so damn fast? A lot of people out here hate you for it, but not me. I know you better than that. Remember I'll always be here if you need some help!_

_But I'm still so jealous!_

_Your friend who's stuck as a Lance Corporal,_

_Kyle Dawson._

_Dear Colonel,_

_How's life. I'm really cold up north. Do you think you could snap me up some flames? _

_Hope you are well and haven't yet drowned in paperwork,_

_Private FC Bucky Samson._

_Hey Roy!_

_Do you have a wife yet?! Haha, kidding, kidding. (Please don't burn me. I have so much to live for.)_

_Do you know, my girlfriend Gracia, she's so beautiful. I swear, she's the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm going to marry her, and we'll have a beautiful child and…_

Edward skipped about three pages of nonsensical babbling about Gracia, and reached the end.

_I'm really bored out here, and I haven't seen Gracia for TWO WEEKS! Do you think you could pull some strings and get me ordered back to Eastern Command?_

_From Maes._

_P. S., GET A WIFE!_

_Geez_, Edward thought. _I know he has a lot of enemies, and loads of people hate him for the smug bastard that he is, but I didn't know he had so many friends…_

He put the letters away and walked over to a stack of unfinished paperwork sitting in a stack on top of a box in the corner. _I get the feeling I should do something about that._

He heaved the pile over to the desk, clearing a space. He took the first sheet from the stack.

_Col. Roy Mustang,_

_We require a certain amount of East city soldiers to…_

Edward began sorting through the stack, placing the sheets into four smaller piles. One was for papers needing Roy's signature, another for things he needed to read, one for things his opinion was required for, and the last for random bits of whatever.

About an hour later, Edward was finished. He stretched, cracking various joints in his back and arm. He yawned.

"Ah. I don't know how he manages to sit still for so long!" He jumped a couple of times, then checked the clock. _Twelve. _His stomach growled. _Lunchtime._

He thought for a second. _I'll feed the Colonel when he wakes up. And perhaps I'll just with a couple of sandwiches this time…_

**Chapter 18; Well, I am the Flame Alchemist**

Edward munched his way through a third sandwich, still wearing Roy's jacket. He found it warmed him in the cold air, and he liked the smell of Roy's aftershave. It didn't stink, not like his father's had.

And the faint smoky scent underneath, and beneath that, the smell of just Roy in general.

He finished the sandwich quickly. _What now?_

He went back to the study, recalling a bookshelf of old alchemy research material.

Sure enough, there was a bookshelf chock-full of books on alchemy. Most were old and leather-bound, untitled and boasting hours-worth of reading material.

Edward grabbed the closest one and flopped into the armchair into the corner of the room, starting to devour the information it offered.

As he read through the first page, he felt the world slipping away and suddenly there was nothing and no-one save for Edward and the book.

No chair, no study, no house, no East City, no Amestris, no planet.

Nothing.

Only the words.

_Alchemy is the study of knowing, deconstructing and reconstructing… the molecular structure of the object one is trying to transmute must be equal in mass, structure, the number of isotopes (if an unstable number of isotopes is present, disregard and… this consists of 3.2% calcium, 5.6% beryl… the solution for such a thing is created using manganese… such a feat had never been trialled before State alchemist Campbell (Mixing Elements Alchemist) Rodney had…_

Edward's hand subconsciously moved to his mouth as his eyes flicked over the page, scanning for useful information. Although interesting, the book contained no real insight to anything regarding the Philosopher's stone.

He moved to the next, paying no mind to the passing of time and only glancing up when a second knee-high stack of books had formed beside the chair.

Seven o'clock.

_Whoa! Seven?! No way! I spent over seven hours reading and I didn't even notice? _Edward stretched his once-again stiff muscles, frowning. _Actually, I'm always doing that._

Not particularly hungry and not wanting to bother walking the whole way back to the kitchen, Edward decided today he would trial a diet of 100% books and went to the bookshelf.

He grabbed three books, one of which was massively thick and had ridiculously small print. The others were a tiny, hand-written journal and the other was an advanced alchemy reference book that Roy himself had scribbled notes all over.

Edward started with that.

He found Roy's notes surprisingly insightful and even picked out a couple of things he planned to trial sometime.

_And here I thought the only thing that bastard used alchemy_ _for was to make things go 'splodey_, Edward thought, yawning.

Eight o'clock.

He picked up the handwritten book, discovering it was a late alchemist's research journal in which he had recorded all his findings, that Roy's mentor had given to him before his death.

_Huh, _he thought. _So two people that owned this died, and there's only one copy. Roy has some pretty rare books, alright…_

This one took a while longer to read on account of there being a slight code to decipher and the author having ridiculously excessive cursive handwriting.

Nine thirty.

Edward picked up the last book, opening it to the first page. _The Amestrian military both revere and research alchemy, and employ it in their army's arsenal. This book was written in the hope that alchemists in the world can discover the…_

Edward stopped reading as he was interrupted by a loud yawn. _…can discover the hidden meanings… to alchemy's greatest secrets… and concealed truths…_

He blinked, eyelids heavy and reluctant to remain open. _…where…wherein… they can use it to an extent that… an extent that… people…wherein…extent…alchemy…_

* * *

"Riza!" Roy's eyes flew open. This sent pain shooting through his head, so he shut them again, letting out a shaky breath.

He had his arms wrapped tightly around a pillow. In his dream, this pillow had been Riza Hawkeye, who he dreamt had died in the Eastern Rebellion. He dreamt they were back fighting and the Lieutenant had accidentally tripped into the path of his flames…hence the hugging.

He'd been struggling through a swamp of scorched bodies, struggling to reach his Lieutenant/bodyguard/assistant/babysitter. Upon finding her, he realised she was already dead.

_Well that was…interesting_, he thought, groaning and rubbing his forehead in an attempt to wake himself. _Blah. Wanna sleep._

_"__Sir, if you don't eat something, you'll end up starving yourself."_

_"__But Ri-i-iza, I'm not _hungry_…"_

_"__Eat!"_

Roy rolled again and sat up, rubbing his head groggily. His messier-than-normal black hair stuck out at awkward angles and his shirt had become crumpled. The man surveyed the room with fever-glazed eyes.

He was sitting alone in his empty room, with the dead bodies (blankets) wrapped around his feet, and an enemy soldier (a pillow) had been thrown across the room and was lying under the windowsill.

_Riza would tell me to eat. And she's usually right. I mean, I do get pretty hungry when I'm better…_

Roy heaved himself off the bed, mumbling at the pain in his head and padding over the carpet to the door, swinging it open and making his way downstairs to the bathroom.

Once finished there, he went to the kitchen and prepared himself the most astounding, most complex, most _awe-strikingly amazing _meal known to basically the entirety of mankind, including our young cooking failure Edward…

Toast.

He poured himself a glass of orange juice, seeing as he was now out of milk-courtesy of the walking catastrophe of an alchemist known as Edward Elric. He hadn't noticed how thirsty he was up 'til now.

_I wonder where Edward is. _Roy munched half-heartedly through the rest of his toast, then made his way down to the living room. _Nope._

He tried the spare room next. _Not here, either._

He looked into the laundry. Empty. _Why did I even try here…?_

Roy glanced at the clock as he passed it. _Whoa, ten thirty! I slept the whole day away!_

Then he mentally face-palmed. _Duh. I know where he is._

He went back down to his study. Sure enough, the young State Alchemist was out like a light on the armchair, his hand loosely attached to the thickest book Roy owned.

His head lolled to the side of the chair and the 'History of the Amestrian military's Association with Alchemy' was slipping from his grasp, almost falling to the book-strewn floor. _He read all of these…in one day?!_

"Zzz… Zzz… Zzz…" Edward snored, letting the book slide from his arms and fall to the carpet with a loud _thud_.

Still, Edward slept on. His auto-mail arm snuck up to scratch at his side, pushing aside his-_Roy's_—shirt and military jacket. Both were quite a few sizes too large and made Roy want to put Major Armstrong's uniform onto the petit alchemist and see how it looked.

He pushed this idea away. _He's going to hurt his neck if he sleeps like that, _Roy thought, sighing.

The man stacked his books and placed them back on the bookshelf. Looking to the desk, he noticed that some items had been shuffled about. Yes, they had been in a kind of order, not that you would have known it from looking.

The photos from Roy's promotion were in plain view he felt a deep pain in his chest at any thought of his best friend, and seeing the photograph in his hands worsened it to an extent that it was almost unbearable. _Maes_, he thought, feeling a weight of grief grow in his chest. _You idiot…_

FLAAAAASHBACKO!

"Roy! Roy! Roy! Oh, geez, Roy! You _have _to see! C'mon, c'mon, quickly, quickly! Come _on!_"

"Okay, okay!" Roy laughed light-heartedly, pulling his arm out of his friend's grasp. "Slow down!"

Maes had practically dragged him down to the Hughes family's house in order to introduce him to his new baby daughter. Roy was currently being pulled through the house to an unknown location.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" Maes urged.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Roy exclaimed, shaking his head at his friends unquenchable enthusiasm.

"In here!" Maes pushed open the door and ushered Roy in, grinning like a fool. "Oh, Roy, she's _so _cute!"

Said room was decorated with loads pictures and toys. Maes' wife, Gracia, sat beside a white cot decorated with intricate carvings.

"Hello, Roy," she said, smiling. "I'm glad you could make it. Maes has been dying to show you. To show everyone, really. He's basically brought around the entire family already."

"I'm not surprised," Roy replied, smiling back.

"Here, here!" Maes pointed into the cot, motioning Roy over.

Roy went over and looked in, eyes wide. The baby girl blinked back up at him then burst into a large grin. "Ahaha!"

"Aww, Roy! She likes you!"

"Mmn?" Roy looked at his friend quizzically.

"Do you want to hold her?" Gracia asked.

"Ah, no thanks," Roy shook his head, grinning nervously.

"Oh, c'mon, Roy!" Maes pleaded. "You have to! I would be _adorable!_"

"I'm cute now?" Roy asked, slightly annoyed, but smiling nonetheless.

Maes reached gently into the cot and picked Elicia out. "Here, hold her like this…"

Gracia watched as the two men transferred the infant between themselves.

Roy tried to keep a calm façade, but on the inside he was panicking. _What if I drop her?! What if I hurt her?! Is this right?! _A look of intense concentration crossed Roy's face and he held the baby as gently as possible.

_FLASH! _Maes snapped a photo with the camera he always seem to have with him nowadays. "Gracia! Gracia! Take a picture!" He passed the camera to his wife and jumped in beside Roy, whilst Gracia happily obliged snapping a couple more pictures.

Roy, meanwhile, was still panicking. _AARGH! Please don't let me hurt her!_

"Is that enough?" Gracia asked.

"Plenty!" Maes nodded, still grinning.

"H-here," Roy murmured, stepping forward so that Gracia could take Elicia.

"See, Roy? Isn't she just _adorable?!" _Maes squeaked, stroking Elicia's cheek. The baby let out a high-pitched giggle.

"Yeah." Roy smiled gently. _So that's what Maes is so excited about. I don't quite understand it, but if it's that important to him, I'll be there for him, too._

FLAAAAASHFORWARDO!

He slipped these painful memories into the folders with the photo's of Elicia that Hughes had given him, spares that the man had owned several copies of.

The Lieutenant Colonel had showed them off like a child shows off trading cards and saying, 'Here, Roy, I have three of these! Take one! You can hang it up in your office, and I swear, when you look at it, you'll have all the energy you need to finish your work! Ah! See?! She's amazing!'

The man would then proceed to kiss the photo, hand it to Roy then take out a few more, oblivious to the fact that Roy honestly couldn't care less what his daughter had eaten for breakfast, or what number she could count to now, or that she was a child prodigy destined to lead the country to greatness.

Nonetheless, Roy kept every photo, slipping them into that folder. Shaking his head to clear his grief, the man glanced to the side of his desk.

Four piles of paperwork sat there, each with a note stuck on top. Edward's messy scrawl covered the notes. Roy frowned. _These need…gor? No that's 'your'… signature… Hey, he sorted my paperwork!_

Raising an eyebrow in surprise, Roy padded over and slipped his arms underneath Edward's body. He hoisted the boy's light frame and weighty auto-mail into his arms and carried him upstairs to the spare room.

_He's going to put out his neck sleeping like that…and probably catch cold, too, _Roy thought placing Edward's limp body on the bed and pulling the quilt up over him. _Wait, since when did I care what happened to Fullmetal? _Roy paused.

_Since you decided to take up the spot his father left, _a voice answered him.

_When did I decide that? _Roy shot back. _All I said was that I'd help him!_

_It was decided when you took him close to you and relieved him of the freezing cold infesting his soul, thawing out the hidden ice…_

_Well, _thought Roy. _I _am _the Flame Alchemist._

**One of those Chaps. was really long, so I only put up two, sorry. :D Please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry there wasn't a disclaimer on the rap… I really don't own it, lol.**

Chapter 19; Nightmare

_Snap! _The click of Roy's fingers echoed loudly, magnified massively by the hollow room. It was illuminated instantly.

A hair-raising scream tore through the chamber, sending shivers down Roy's spine. It was horrible, the cry of a dying creature and it slammed right into the man's ears, making him clutch his head in pain.

When it died down, Roy could see.

A small shape on the floor cast elongated, flickering shadows across the cobblestones.

_What…? _Roy's heartbeat quickened. _Oh, man, who is that?! Who did I hit?!_

He pelted over to the forme, panicking. All his fears were confirmed in one word;

_Auto-mail._

_Oh, please no…! _Roy rolled over the limp body, revealing Edward's face, smeared with ash and blood.

"Edward! Edward!"

A horrendous burn wound spread from Edward's neck down to his abdomen. The very look of it was so messed up and shredded that it made Roy himself feel ill, even though he had seen countless burn wounds in the war, and he closed his eyes to the sight of it.

Blood seeped out from his charred flesh, and the terrible, burnt, bloody smell that had burnt it's way into Roy's memory infected the air. It soaked into everything, all of the man's clothes and straight down into his bones, turning his limbs numb.

The boy in his arms shuddered and choked and blood trickled out of his mouth and down his chin to land on the stone floor and mingle with the thick, red liquid that covered it. He was finished, Roy could see that.

But it didn't stop him from tearing off his jacket and pressing it against the massive burn in a desperate attempt to staunch the bleeding, muttering, "No, please, no, not him…"

Edward's eyes sharpened and stared at Roy's, his pupils wild, dilated and terrifyingly insane-looking. This look turned Roy's blood to ice, and sent a sick feeling into the pit of his stomach.

"This is it, bastard," Edward rasped, his voice rough, cold and dead, not his own. This was someone else's voice. "You killed humans, and left the people who were precious to them behind to suffer. You did not take their lives, no, you _destroyed _them. This is it. This boy will now die and leave _you_ to suffer."

Roy shook his head, breathing out a terrified pattern of denial. "Nononononono…"

"This is it, Roy Mustang. This is your equivalent exchange."

And Edward was dead.

* * *

"Gah!" Roy snapped awake, his breath coming out fast and shallow. He shuddered, feeling a bead of cold sweat trickle down his forehead and drip down onto the pillow.

He stared at the ceiling of the dark room, eyes wide, shivering in both cold and fear.

_Edward!_

He threw back the covers, letting out a hacking cough. He dashed across the corridor and into the spare room, still panting hard with the occasional cough.

Edward snored loudly, still wearing Roy's military jacket, his arm handing limply off the side of the bed. The young alchemist's blonde hair fell all over his face, stirring slightly with each breath. He snuffed, rolling over so that he faced Roy.

The man leant weakly against the doorframe, shaking in relief. _Good, good…_

Roy stood there for a while, partially to make sure Edward was really there, and partly because he felt too dizzy, tired and weak to walk.

He slid down the wall, relief and sickness turning his legs to jelly. _It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. Oh, phew, it was just a bad dream._

Roy looked up again, exhaustion plastering his pale face and his bleary eyes only half open. He dragged himself to his feet, staggering back to his room and collapsing on his bed, still trembling.

He felt both hot and cold at the same time. Groaning, he rubbed his head and glanced at the clock on the wall. Two thirty.

_I am going to sleep…and not get up for a week._

Chapter-oh-it's-20-now!; Delirious

Edward opened his eyes and looked around. _Huh…? The spare room? I don't remember coming up here…_

The last thing Edward could recall was beginning to read a really fat book. After that…nothing.

He yawned massively, sitting up and stretching. His auto-mail was heavy and the rest of his body felt sluggish. _So…sleepy…_

With no incentive to get up, he flopped back onto the mattress, exhausted.

_Blah. I'm hungry. _

He slipped off the bed and trudged downstairs to the laundry, where he grabbed his black singlet, trousers, jacket and red cloak, which were now dry, and took them back to the spare room.

One plus side to his auto-mail leg was that it didn't hurt if you stubbed your toe in the morning.

He set the cloak and jacket aside, slipping into his familiar black trousers and switching Roy's over-sized shirt for his own singlet.

He redid his braid, humming. _I'm gonna phone Al,_ he thought. _But I want breakfast first._

He walked back downstairs into the kitchen, throwing Roy's jacket at the coat-rack as he passed. _I know what I can cook! _He realised, a metaphorical light bulb manifesting above his head. _Something really easy…toast!_

And another similarity between Fullmetal and Flame had been established.

Edward hummed some more, shoving the toast on the newly repaired toaster and praying to whatever giant sky-person people believed in that it didn't catch fire.

It didn't.

_Thank you, giant, totally illogical sky-person that I don't believe in because you contradict the science that I love so much for many reasons I can't be stuffed explaining right now, _Edward thought cheerfully.

He shoved the toast into his mouth, flicking through an old newspaper sitting on the kitchen countertop.

He glanced at the toaster.

Smoke.

_Ah, crap. It seems Roy's alchemy didn't fix it after all._

He padded over and inspected the toaster warily. _Looks like he's out of practise. With all the Flame alchemy, he hasn't used transmutation in a while, _Edward thought.

He clapped his hands and slapped down on the cool side of the toaster, enjoying a surge of excitement when the alchemical light flared out around it.

He always felt this way when he used his alchemy. No matter what he was doing; something life-threatening like fighting or something as simple as fixing a toaster, Edward always felt a rush of power when he clapped his hands and slapped the surface.

Grinning, he folded his arms and stepped back to admire his work. The toaster now had a steel snake for a handle, and dragons carved all up the side. The lever for opening the hatch was a little skull.

_I. Am. _So. _Pro._ He smirked, going back to the table to finish his breakfast; seven rounds of toast. After going almost a whole day without food, he was starved.

His ears pricked as he caught a sudden noise from upstairs. Glancing out the kitchen door, he caught a glimpse of Roy's crumpled shirt and messy black hair.

"Hey, Roy!" Edward called. "You hafta eat breakfast or you'll starve to death! Riza told me!"

"Of course she did." Roy's mumbled comment reached the kitchen.

Edward flicked through the rest of the newspaper, glancing up only briefly as Roy trudged past him toward the bread-bin, then to the toaster.

He stopped.

"Edward?"

"Mm?" Edward's glassy eyes remained focused on the paper.

"Did you fix my toaster?"

"Mm."

"_Why?_"

"You misjudged and left the heatin' wires 'gainst the side an' it o'erheated…doofus," Edward mumbled, still reading.

"You can hardly blame me. I feel like someone's been repeatedly hitting mr in the head with a shovel… Let's just say I can't exactly think properly right now."

Too tired to bother returning the toaster to it's original, un-Edwardifyed state, Roy went over to the fridge and opened it, glancing around. He paused.

"See what I mean? I'm looking for cutlery in the fridge."

"Here," Edward offered, handing Roy his plate and knife, now finished with the paper. "Use mine."

Sleepy and uncoordinated, the Colonel accidentally knocked the plate the ground where it promptly shattered.

"Blast," Roy mumbled, rubbing his forehead.

"I'll get it," Edward volunteered, stooping down to fix the plate.

"No dragons this time, alright?" Roy said sternly. Well, as sternly as he could given his current state.

"Okay, okay," Edward grumbled. "Spoilsport."

Roy watched as Edward crouched and slapped down on the tiles, the flash of an alchemical reaction surrounding his face and blowing his hair back.

Roy laughed inside, thinking how strange it was that he should have to rely on his youngest subordinate this way. _Hah. The almighty 'Hero of Ishbal' has fallen to having a fifteen year old boy as a babysitter, _he thought.

"There." Edward stood back, picking the plate up off the floor. "Done."

"Thanks," Roy replied, setting his rapidly cooling toast onto the freshly repaired plate. After buttering it, he nibbled half-heartedly at it.

"Here."

Roy glanced up with half-lidded eyes. "Mm?"

Edward held out a glass, his face as blank and expressionless as the water he held. "Al's always telling me to stay hydrated when I get sick. Granted, it's not often, but it happens. Normally after I…how Al likes to say, 'Push myself too far!' or 'Don't give myself a break!' …Or something like that."

"Right…" Roy took the glass, gulping it down thankfully. He set it down once he'd finished, blinking exhaustedly.

Right now, the only thing that seemed legit to the man was sleep.

"…right?" Edward looked at his superior expectantly.

"Whut?" Roy raised his head.

"I said, the best thing…" Edward's voice droned on, but Roy had tuned out again and simply laid his head down on the kitchen table.

"You know what?" Edward sighed. "Why don't you just go back to bed?"

The only word Roy recognised was bed.

He nodded slightly and murmured something unintelligible, his head fuzzy and feeling as if he were disjointed from the world.

"Well? Are you going upstairs or what?"

Roy groaned. "If my legs were working, Fullmetal, I most certainly would be."

Edward blinked. "So you're going to sleep there?"

"Mmnmghf…"

The younger alchemist growled under his breath. "I swear, bastard. _One day…!_"

He hoisted Roy's arm onto his shoulder and half-guided and half-dragged the man up the stairs.

Judging from the red tint to Roy's forehead, and the heat pulsing from it, his fever was well over a hundred. That explained why he could hardly walk, and why he wasn't complaining about being literally carried by someone half his size.

Due to Edward's smaller than average stature, the man was basically a massive lump of dead weight, almost enough that the blonde could hardly walk. "_Move damn you!"_

"Riza…" Roy mumbled. "Be careful… Stay away from the flames…"

"What nonsense are you spouting now?!" Edward snapped, irritated.

"…I can feel them…the flames…it's so _hot_…and the smoke hurts my eyes…and my throat…"

Edward halted his struggle up the stairs, staring at his superior officer with a baffled sneer on his face. "What the hell? You've got a fever, idiot! Of course you're bloody well hot! And your throat's gonna be sore too, there's no need to exaggerate!"

"No… I can see the fire so vividly… It has to be real… I can smell that smell… _Death…_and burnt flesh…smoke…I did that…"

Edward's eyebrows arched as he realised that Roy fever had made him delusional, and he was only half awake.

"This war…I want it to end…_please let it end_…I can't _take it _anymore!" Roy pleaded. "So many bodies… I killed them, Riza, I killed them! I'm so sorry, and I don't wanna hurt you… Stay away from my flames…"

_Ishbal! He's talking about Ishbal! _Edward thought, the realisation dawning on him all at once. _But he thinks it's here and now and...HE THINKS I'M A WOMAN!_

"Riza...Riza, if I die, keep him safe for me…" A look of pleading desperation entered the Flame Alchemist's glazed eyes. "Don't… Don't let him get caught in my flames too. He can't die… I won't let him die…"

_Won't let who die? Hughes?_

"Mustang, snap out of it," Edward grumbled, snapping his fingers in front of Roy's face.

"NO! No, please! Not him!" Roy struggled free and grabbed Edward's wrist, the flesh one and wrenched it around into a lock, pressing until the boy was on the floor.

Edward felt a bolt of pain flash up his arm and was on the stair floor before he knew it. "WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!" he shouted.

Roy shook his head, stepping back. "Don't you _dare _touch him! I'll kill you if I have too…"

He stumbled back against the wall, letting out a series of hacking coughs. Edward scrambled to his feet, lunging forward to grab Roy before he could collapse on the stairs and cause himself even more damage.

"Stop being so goddamn difficult and get your lazy carcass up the f****** stairs, bastard!" Edward snarled, pulling Roy's arms up over his shoulders and hauled the man upstairs, cussing as he went.

Roy mumbled incoherent pleas as they went, things along the lines of; "I wanna get _out_… But I can't leave them behind… Not here…"

Edward pushed Roy into his room and forced him onto the bed, telling him to 'Shut the bloody hell up and stop talking gibberish!'

"Protect him… Please… Don't let him die… I won't be able to hold on any longer if he dies…"

Edward sighed. "Don't let who die? Who do you wanna protect so badly?"

"…Edward…Elric…"

Chapter TOOWENTAI! …Part 2…; The Fear of Needles

Edward blinked. "What?"

"…Ed…ward…" Roy's eyes flicked closed, and a bead of perspiration trickled down the side of his face. His cheeks, ears and forehead were bright red, redder than Edward's during one of his rants, but the rest of his face was ghostly pale.

"What?" Edward repeated dumbly. _Did he just say what I think he said? Was that my name?_

The boy leaned forward and touched his superior officer's head, attempting to assess the situation. He recoiled immediately, shocked by the sheer temperature of Roy's face.

Edward sat down on the bed, his mind trying to process several things at once.

The first was;

HOLY F****** COW ROY MUSTANG HAS EMOTIONS!

The second;

HE CARES ABOUT ME?!

Third;

…he thought I was a woman…

The fourth;

He is really, _really _sick.

Fifth;

Get your ass moving and find a thermometer or something! He needs medical attention!

And finally;

This man, this poker-faced, stone-hearted, virtually invulnerable man is genuinely scared. Do not _ever _let yourself get involved in a war.

Edward stood and bolted down the stairs taking them three at a time.

_Thermometer, bowl…medicine… Argh! What the hell am I doing?!_

He flung open cupboards, grabbing anything he deemed useful. Then he pelted back upstairs and back into Roy's room, dumping the items onto the armchair in the corner of Roy's room.

"Okay. Okay. Calm down Edward. People can't die from simple colds, can they…? I dunno!" Edward's hands darted over the pile of things spread on the chair and floor.

A thermometer, a facecloth, some flu medicine, a bowl, a pineapple and a phonebook.

"Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay… Umm, I need to uh, to… do something! Yeah! Something! But what?! Agh!" Edward gripped his head and tugged on his bangs, his stomach churning with a mixture of worry and pure panic.

He took a deep breath. "Alright. Stay calm. Think of how _infuriatingly _calm Mustang manages to stay under pressure," Edward reassured himself, tapping his foot nervously.

He grabbed the thermometer and put it to Roy's ear. "Okay. That's how they do it in books. There's no way I'm sticking this in his mouth."

Two minutes later, Edward took the thing back. "One hundred and seven? ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN?! Okay, that's bad. I'm pretty sure that's really bad…"

Edward's auto-mail fingers tapped against their corresponding leg, creating a high-speed 'clang-clang-clang-clang-clang' noise, even through his trousers.

Roy's dark hair was plastered to his head with sweat, and his breathing was fast and shallow. Edward could see his eyes flicking about under his eyelids.

_He's dreaming again…_ The Fullmetal Alchemist's mind switched to scientific. _In the sleeping state of Rapid Eye Movement (R.E.M.), the subconscious mind… Shut up for a sec, science! I'm busy!_

Another metaphorical light bulb lit up the space above Edward's head, metaphorically setting his antennae on metaphorical fire.

_I know! I'll phone the doctor! No, idiot readers, not _THE DOCTOR, _a different doctor! A medical one, duh! That's what the freakin' phonebook's for! Now, as for the pineapple, I'm not really sure…_

Edward grabbed the phonebook and made a run for it, casting a glance back at Roy as he went. His breath caught in his throat as a familiar memory resurfaced.

_"__Transmute me some flowers, would you?"_

The phonebook fell to the ground with a thump.

_"__You know how I love those…"_

Edward choked back a surge of icy cold fear threatening to engulf his body as he saw Roy's face in his mind, the same way his mother's had been.

_"…__those flowers…"_

He started shaking, staring in mute horror in the direction of Roy's bed. _No way… It couldn't be…could it? Not the same thing?_

He tried in vain to erase the images of his mother's death from his mind, snatching the phonebook from the floor and charging down the stairs once more, a new fear fuelling his body. _It couldn't be the same thing. No way. They did away with it years ago. He's never even been in the right place at the right time. He's stronger than she was._

He pelted into Roy's study, now his official favourite place in the house.

Mainly because it was full of books.

He snatched the phone off the wall and punched the number into the dial.

_C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon pick up, hurry up and pick up the damn phone, hurry the fu—_

"Hello, this is Eastern City Emergency Medical Clinic, how may I hel-."

"Get me someone that can come out here!" Edward shouted urgently, cutting the woman off.

"Please sir, calm down. I need to know your location and the nature of your emergency," the woman said evenly.

"Um, well there's this man, and he's got a real bad fever. He's asleep now, but he was awake before and he was all delirious, and now he's at 107, and um, I'm really worried 'cuz he wasn't this bad before but now…"

"Alright. Where are you?"

Edward gave the location of Roy's house, cursing himself for allowing a tone of panic to enter his voice.

"One of our doctors will be dispatched to your location immediately. Please try to remain calm. There are just a couple more questions that need answering. Firstly, your name?"

"Edward Elric."

A pause. "The alchemist?"

"Yes, yes. Are there any more questions?"

"Oh, sorry, Mr Elric. Name and age of patient?"

"Roy Mustang, and he's either twenty-nine or thirty, I don't really know," Edward replied, tapping his foot with both impatience and worry. He looked away, his mind preoccupied with a desire to run upstairs to check on Roy. He answered the next question subconsciously.

"Relation to patient?"

"Um, I'm his son."

"Thank you. The doctor will arrive shortly."

"Thanks!" Edward slammed the phone down and sprinted towards the stairs. Halfway up, he stopped.

"Wait. Did I just say I was his son?!"

He growled, smacking himself in the face with his auto-mail a few times. "Idiot, idiot, idiot!"

Inside of him, a little voice said, 'He'd be a hell of a lot better as a father than Hoenhiem ever was.'

"Shut up, stupid little conscience voice!" Edward spat, running up the remaining stairs to Roy's room.

"Okay, Cold water." Edward grabbed the bowl and the facecloth from the chair, hoping to fill it with water and treat Roy as he'd known Alphonse to do when he himself came down with a fever.

"Only hafta make it 'til the doctor gets here…" he muttered, filling the bowl with ice cold water.

He dashed back to the bedroom, sloshing water as he went. He dipped the cloth in the water, wincing as it bubbled up through his auto-mail.

Rolling the cloth up, he used it to dab the sheen of sweat from his superior's face. _Damn… he really is sick,_ the Fullmetal Alchemist thought worriedly.

"…Ed…"

Edward jumped. "Wh-what?"

"Heh…Heheh…" Roy's half-lidded eyes lit with laughter. "Are you…? Yes, you are… and here I was thinking the only thing you feared… Trypanophobia…"

Edward frowned. _Where've I heard that before? That word…_

Light bulb!

"I do not!" Edward pouted defiantly.

"Yes… You do," Roy mumbled sleepily. "But there's something else, too…"

"Okay, you accuse me of something totally stupid like trypanophobia, then say I'm scared of something else as well?"

"Yeah…" Roy coughed weakly, then closed his eyes. "I'm a soldier… I can smell fear."

"You can't smell anything when your nose is so full of snot!" Edward muttered grumpily. "And I am _so _not a trypanophobic!"

"You're scared…for me, aren't you?" Roy smirked, enjoying every second of Edward's squeamish silence.

"No, I'm not," the boy responded quickly. "Bastard."

"Yeah, right…" Roy murmured. He went quiet.

Edward squirmed uncomfortably. The Colonel had seen right through him. He was indeed terrified of losing Roy, so soon after discovering that he cared for the man, and that the man cared for him too.

Especially not in the same way he'd lost his mother.

A worried frown invaded the blonde's face. He'd only just found someone he could trust with the problems he didn't want to worry Alphonse with.

Someone who wouldn't coddle him.

Someone who could teach him the things no-one else could.

Someone who could do the things his father had never done for him.

But was he going to lose him as soon as he found him?

_Please, Roy, you bastard… Don't die on me. Don't leave me here like this._

_Out in the cold._

Also he was a bit of a trypanophobic.

JUST A BIT!

**Nice cliffie, eh? Sorry I had to turn off my PM, there's an explanation on my profile. For now, just tell me what you want in a review.**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND HELP ME REACH MY DREAM OF 100 REVIEWS! Please...**

**P. S., Happy Birthday to AllyPallyCally1**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello, friends! Or are you…? D8 Here you go! There is an OC in this bit, but he's not really important, so please, feel free to ignore him.**

**O. C.; You're so cruel!**

**Me; And you're so irrelevant! …Sort of.**

**O, C.; I do have a small importance…**

**Me; Yeah, but people seem to hate O. C.s, so shut up.**

**O. C.; *Starts sobbing* Please don't hate me…**

**Me; I would like to inform you that I am a genius. Totally.**

Chapter 21; The Promise…and Roy's Death

White. There was white.

Roy looked around.

_Where… Where is this?_ He… Well, he supposed it would be thinking, as he hadn't spoken. But he could still hear the words, echoing all around the desolate white blankness.

_Huh, _he 'thought'. _So this is what it's like to die._

He looked around. There was nothing for miles and miles, and he had no idea what to do now.

He pondered how he'd gotten this far.

_So I died of a fever then. _He looked up, but there was only more blank space.

_I always thought, _he mused. _It would be Riza's bullet in my brain that would kill me. Either because I'd gone mad with power…or because I didn't finish my paperwork on time._

He inspected himself. He was still wearing his crumpled black trousers and white shirt, his hair stuck in messy spikes and bunches.

_I guess this means Riza will be the one to go on to Fuhrer now. I never really thought about this before. I hope she can do it safely._

Seeing nothing else to do, he started rocking back and forth on his feet. _My only regret, I think, is not being able to find Maes' killer. Although, perhaps I'll be able to see him again now…_

A slight noise caught his attention. "Bastard!"

_Edward?! _Roy jumped, startled. _Was that—Oh, crap! If I'm dead, who'll keep him out of trouble? I hope Riza can do it…_

"Bastard! F****** bastard!"

Roy looked around once more, but failed to locate the source of the voice.

"You can't die now! You goddamn, good-for-nothing, f******, idiotic, s***-brained, self-centred, air-headed, lazy, procrastinating, dumbass of an excuse for a useless, c***-faced, bloody BASTARD!"

Roy frowned. _If I can still hear him, does that mean I'm still alive? Barely, I think… If so, I'm done for soon. If I heard correctly, Edward said 'one hundred and seven'. There's no way I'm wriggling outta this one._

Roy sighed and sat down. _I'll just hafta wait it out, then._

"Please, bastard! Don't die! You can't die! Do you not even care what you're doing to me here?! You jerk!"

Roy closed his eyes, trying to ignore Edward's desperate pleas. _There's no way you can bring me back like this, Edward. I'm done for. There's just no way._

As much as it pained Roy to admit it, he would have to leave the world behind now. _I'm going to die._

"Bastard! Do you know, this is how…this is how…this is how mom left us?" Edward's disembodied voice cracked, and the depth of his distress was made known to Roy.

"Don't you know how this feels?! Don't you have a heart?! All the people that left…! First dad, then mom, then almost Al, and Nina, and Hughes, and now _you _too?!"

Roy bit his lip. A pin-prick of guilt wormed it's way into his heart. _I'm sorry, Edward. I really am. But there's nothing I can do…_

"And do you know…" Edward's voice was thicker with emotion than Roy had ever heard it before, and it was getting closer to tears with every word. "Do you know how it feels to have someone you love like family…taken away from you again and again and again? And now, you're leaving me too…in the same way my mom did! Do you know how much it hurts? Do you?!"

Roy shifted uncomfortably.

"And…" Edward's anguished voice broke into laughter. "Y'know what? I'm so cold right now. So goddamn cold. And it's your bloody fault. I'm here, running myself to the ground looking after you, and you're just dying on me. And leaving me here to freeze in your freakin' well minus one hundred thousand degree house. All alone."

That tore it.

Roy jumped to his feet again, looking for a way out.

"And then…" Edward choked out, on the verge of breaking down. "And then, I'll probably die of freaking hypothermia, and…then I'll be leaving Al all alone!"

Roy started sprinting towards a hazy shape on the horizon, cursing to himself.

He decided right then and there, in that state of half-consciousness, that he would never leave Edward alone like this again…

…If he didn't die now.

The hazy shape gained substance and clarity as Roy drew closer. He could see it now, a gate.

A stone gate.

Engraved on the front was a large stone carving, the alchemic symbol for life. This was it.

Roy slammed into it and pushed against it as hard as he could, struggling with all his might to force open the heavy stone slabs.

He grunted in effort, but it seemed to be all in vain; the thing wouldn't budge.

"Are you gonna leave me here, bastard?! In this freezing cold?! Is that it?! Are you that much of an asshole?!"

Roy snarled under his breath, summoning an almighty surge of strength. _No, you stupid little midget! This isn't how it's gonna be! I'm not gonna leave you! I'm _never _gonna leave you! I swear to God, you pathetic excuse for a stunted bean-sprout, I'll do whatever it takes!_

"Are you gonna leave me like my father did?!"

Roy gave one last shove with all the power in his sturdy-framed body, pushing for all he was worth and shouting back, "Never! _I won't leave you!"_

A sliver of light cracked out between the two stone slabs and Roy gave a shout, ramming his way through.

* * *

Roy heard music.

_For I will be there_

_ I'll be there, when you're cold._

_I won't leave you out, leave you out,_

_In the freezing cold._

He forced his eyes open, taking a deep, hacking breath. Coughs burned down his throat into his chest and sent heaving spasms down his weakened body.

He could no longer hear the lullaby, he guessed he must have imagined it.

The brightness of his room caused a stabbing pain in his head and he felt a little ill. He felt both hot and cold at the same time, and it wasn't a good feeling. It was terribly uncomfortable.

He moaned.

He was aware of another presence in the room, but upon opening his eyes, all that he saw was a blurred mess of colours and splodges, and a second wave of pain coursed through his head.

He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath, one which resulted in another painful fit of coughing.

"…Ed…?" he whispered, physically incapable of saying any more.

The boy head jerked up, his angry, grief-stricken amber eyes shining with tears he hadn't shed.

"You… You bastard! How could you do that?! I thought you were gonna die!"

Roy winced as his pounding head tried to recover from the audio assault, and he focused instead on Edward's ragged, panting breaths.

"…well," Roy rasped. "You though wrong."

"You… You…" Edward trailed off and set himself upon brushing the tears from his eyes with shaking hands.

"I thought for a second…" the boy muttered, his voice raw with emotion. "…that you really were gonna die. And…" He took a deep, sobbing breath. "I thought I was gonna lose you."

"It's okay," Roy mumbled. "I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you. This bloody fever can go get screwed. I won't ever leave you alone to suffer."

Edward's body trembled with relief, fatigue, anger and cold. He was so very cold.

"And Edward," Roy added. "If you really think you're going to die of hypothermia, you do have a jacket to wear remember. And you're welcome to borrow one of mine."

Confusion flooded Edward's face. "Did you… Did you hear all that?"

"Every word," Roy told him. "That's the reason I'm still here… If you hadn't been there swearing at me, I might not have woken up."

Edward sniffled and another quiet sob escaped him. He uttered another sentence. "You're a bastard, do you know that?"

"Yeah." Roy nestled his head deeper into the pillow and sighed.

Edward's breath hitched in his throat and he became worried again. What if Roy didn't manage to wake up this time? What if he died now? What if-

"Relax, Ed…" Roy breathed. "I won't die now. I'm gonna be fine. I won't leave you…I swear it."

Edward sniffled again, wiping the last traces of tears from his eyes, thinking, _At least they stayed there._

"You'd better keep that promise, bastard," he said grumpily, annoyed that the man had managed to draw some tears into his eyes. "You better."

Chapter 20 part three! (Just kidding. It's 21 part 2.); Accidentally Father and Son

_Diin-dong! _Edward jumped to his feet and flung himself down the stairs. He almost wrenched the door off it's hinges, panting.

"Umm, Mr…Elric?" A young, skittish looking man, late teen to early twenties by Edward's guess, stood at the door.

He had messy, pale blue-black hair, a face decorated with over a hundred odd freckles and wore rectangular, wire-rimmed glasses.

His pristine white coat flapped about in the cold wind, revealing the simple black trousers and blue sweater he wore underneath. He also carried a mid-sized briefcase.

"D-Dr Matthew Dawson, as you requested?" he all but squeaked, pushing up the glasses that seemed determined on slipping off his nose and biting his lip nervously. Edward glared at the billowing coat.

Oh, how he hated those coats.

His glare dropped and was replaced almost immediately by a sickly sweet and totally false smile.

"Come," he demanded, grabbing the young man's wrist and pulling him inside, rather like a kidnapper would, and pulled him upstairs

"Hey, um, sir? I would appreciate it if you didn't hold so tightly… Your auto-mail is quite strong," the doctor requested pleadingly, stumbling along behind Edward.

"Right. Sorry," Edward mumbled his apology and loosened his grip, not really listening.

Dawson, on the brink of losing his glasses again, rammed them back up his nose once more, and adjusted his grip on the briefcase as well.

The two arrived at Roy's room.

"There. Do what you do, doctor. Don't let him die," Edward deadpanned, pointing at Roy's unconscious form.

"R-right." Dawson nodded. "If I may, a few questions."

Edward's _favourite _part. You had to answer these questions correctly, in Edward's mind. Let one small detail slip, and they'd whisk you away to hospital.

His eyes narrowed. _Alright, Dawson, I'll play your little game…_

The young man walked over to Roy, and as soon as he laid eyes on the boy, his entire façade changed. His stuttering, nervous attitude vanished, and a professional aura replaced it.

"How long has he been sick?" the doctor asked, moving the cloth from Roy's face.

Edward didn't allow himself to relax. "Roughly two days."

You had to make it sound less serious than it was.

Dawson snapped open his case, revealing a series of sophisticated medical tools.

_Your tools of torture, _Edward reflected.

The young doctor pulled out a thermometer and used it to take Roy's temperature. "How high did you say he reached?"

Edward hesitated. "A-almost one hundred and seven."

Dawson frowned. "That high? Well, he's back down to ninety-nine now."

Edward let out a sigh of relief. "That's good, right?"

"Well, not usually. But if you were correct in saying he was at one hundred and seven earlier, then it's brilliant. By all laws of medical science, this man should be dead. But the simple fact that he isn't is something to celebrate."

Edward, feeling slightly unsteady, sat down on an armchair in the corner of the room. If he turned his head slightly, he could see out the window. It was a nice view, and Edward guessed this was where Roy spent his free time.

"Is he gonna be okay?" the young alchemist asked worriedly.

"Given the right treatment, I would say so," Dawson said. "Has he taken any medication?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Any vomiting?"

"No."

"You said he was delirious. When was this and for how long?" Dawson asked, switching to a stethoscope, shifting Roy's shirt to press it against the man's chest.

"It was only once, about forty-five minutes ago, for a little less than ten minutes." Edward shrugged.

"What was he like?"

Edward paused. "Well, it was sorta like he was…talking in his sleep. He was half asleep, I think." A thought struck him. "Hey, you're kinda young for this aren't you?"

The doctor swung around, eyebrows raised. "Look who's talking! 'The child prodigy', 'Fullmetal Alchemist', 'Dog of the military at only twelve years old'! And you're accusing _me_ of being too young for my chosen profession?" He smirked. "Could you imagine what it would have been like had you gone to war?"

Edward scowled.

"And, no offense, but you're kinda…short."

Edward jumped up. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN SO SMALL YOU COULDN'T GIVE HIM A SHOT WITHOUT CRUSHING HIM?!"

Roy mumbled in his unconscious state. "Fullmetal…shrimp…"

"EVEN IN HIS SLEEP?!"

"A bit touchy about our height, are we? …I see." Dawson frowned, turning back to Roy and putting his stethoscope away. "Has he been exposed to anything that may have contributed to his condition, like a bug going 'round his work or something?"

"I dunno," Edward said, shrugging. "He was out in the rain for a little yesterday, but then again, so was I. For even longer than him."

The young doctor stood and turned, producing a small bottle and handing it to Edward.

"Mm. Alright, I can safely say that's he's got a form of high fever and a little bit of a flu, and he should be better in a week or so. Give him this, twice a day," he advised.

"Mmnmghf…"

Dawson looked around and Edward peered over his shoulder.

Roy was pushing himself up into a sitting position with one hand and rubbing his forehead with the other. His voice was rough and thick with sickness. "Ed...ward? What… What happened? And who's that?"

"You went crazy." Edward stopped. "Okay, that's a bit of an overstatement. You…lost your grip on sanity slightly," he explained, albeit vaguely.

"Was I drunk?"

"Hell, no, bastard! As if I'd even let you _touch_ a bottle of booze whilst I'm about," Edward snorted. "You'd probably get drunk and then depress me with your life story and end up singing some retarded soul song or something."

"Very funny." Roy mumbled. "Who's this?"

"Um, Dr Matthew Dawson, sir. H-he called me," the young man said, pointing at Edward.

"Did you say 'Matthew Dawson'?" Roy echoed.

"Umm, yes?" Dawson nodded slightly.

"Where've I heard that name before?" Roy pondered this. "Dawson…"

"My name isn't important right now, sir." Dawson dismissed Roy's musings with a flick of his wrist. "I came to give you a check-up, and now that you're awake, I may as well go into further examination."

Roy succeeded in pushing himself up and nodded. "Okay."

Edward, meanwhile, had settled back into the armchair and could feel his eyelids drooping. He fought to stay awake, but gave up in the end.

"Sore head?"

"Well, for a couple of days, yes, but now it's just fuzzy."

"Any nausea?"

"No, not particularly."

"Dizziness?"

"Slightly. Not overly."

"How many fingers?"

"Three."

"Good. That means there's no sign of brain damage."

"B-brain damage?!"

"Yes. In rare cases, high fever can damage your insides. You seem to be fine though."

A huff of relief. Then a yawn.

Chuckle. "Tired?"

"Yes."

The rest of the conversation was lost to Edward as the teen had fallen into a deep slumber, exhausted by the stress of the day.

Roy glanced over Dawson's shoulder. "He's asleep."

"I'm not surprised. He looked as if he'd been running himself ragged looking after you," Dawson said, pushing his glasses up his nose and smiling self-consciously.

"That's it!" Roy fake-snapped his fingers, having taught himself years ago that doing it for real with ignition gloves on was never a good idea, even if all it did was send out a small spark. Especially if there was a huge stack of paperwork in front of you and Lieutenant Hawkeye was in the same room.

It was basically habit now.

"I know that smile," Roy said.

"H-huh?" Dawson blinked.

"What was your…father's name?" Roy asked, frowning uncertainly.

"I-it was Kyle… K-Kyle Dawson."

"Yes. I did know him." Roy nodded slowly, gradually gaining speed as memories formed in his head. "We were comrades in the war… Yes, he had hair like yours. And the glasses. He was a very skittish man. But as soon as he put on his uniform he was as brave as a lion. Very proud of his son. Rivalled Hughes, if I recall correctly…"

"I… I never g-got your name b-before," Dawson stammered. "Are you R-Roy M-M-Must-tang?"

"With a few less hyphens, yes," Roy replied.

Edward snuffed suddenly, snapping awake. He wiped a thin trail of saliva from the corner of his mouth, looking about blearily. "Whaa…?"

Roy glared at him, a short gesture missed by Dawson, and all it said was 'keep your mouth shut!'

Edward scowled, sinking back into the armchair.

"M-my father talked about you a l-lot. He was always saying h-how jealous he was when you g-got promot-ted." Dawson's face softened, and a sorrowful look entered his eyes. "But he nev-ver said you ha-had a son…"

A flash of confusion crossed Roy's face and he flashed a glance at Edward, who shrugged and shot back a tired look that said, 'it was an accident!'

Roy looked back at Dawson. "He… He died, didn't he?"

The man trailed off. Being in the military was a dangerous job.

"Y-yes… Early last year. He was k-killed in act-tion. P-protecting my mother, and a b-bunch of k-kids at her elementary school. I was away on a cours-se, tr-raining in medics. I felt so g-guilty… We'd fought just the night bef-fore, and I felt like it was my f-fault." A tear slipped from under his glasses. He stood up, grabbing his briefcase.

"I'm s-sorry. I sh-shouldn't be bothering you with my t-troubles," he said.

Edward's head lolled and he slipped once more into a state of half-consciousness.

"If it makes you feel any better," Roy began. "Your father was very proud of you. And you remind me a lot of him. If you're even half the man he was, you'll be brilliant."

This caught Dawson's attention.

"And, I never heard a bad word from him about you."

Dawson smiled a little. "Thanks… Now, I'd best be off. I've another appointment soon."

Edward looked up just in time to see the young doctor leave the room and hurried after him to show him to the door. He handed him the money for the call out and the medicine as he did, saying "Sorry if I seemed rude before; I was just, y'know, I suppose I was…worried…to some degree…"

"Well, who w-wouldn't be?" Dawson agreed. "I would totally f-flip out if I someone I knew h-had come down with a sickness tha-at bad. And remember; that's two times a day, until he's well again. Make sure he stays hydrated, cool, and I'll be back in a couple of days for another check-up. Expect a phone call," Dawson explained. "And you get some rest, okay? You look beat."

"Right." Edward nodded. "Thanks for coming. You've been a big help."

"Also, I'm glad you don't take your father for granted. You care for him well, and I'm sure he does the same. Farewell." Dawson started off down the road.

It took a while for his last sentence to sink into Edward's tired mind.

"Wait, he's not my…" he called out.

But the young man was already halfway down the road and the wind whipped Edward's words away.

Chapter *starts bellowing the chorus to Taylor Swift's 'Twenty-Two' and deafening anyone listening*; Alchemists Seek the Truth

Roy looked at Edward, an intense frown covering his face. The man was sitting on his bed, messy hair stuck in a mop of bed-head, and Edward stood at the doorway, eyebrows arched.

"What?" The latter folded his arms defensively. "What is it?"

"Why did that boy seem to think you were my son?" Roy asked, his voice hoarse and sick sounding.

Edward scowled. "A slip of the tongue. Nothing more. Seriously did not mean it. Who would want you as a father? Not me, nope. No way, José. Hey, why were you up before?" Edward asked, trying to change the subject. "When I called you into the kitchen?"

"I had a shower," Roy stated bluntly. "And did you pay that boy?"

"Yeah."

"How much? I can pay you back."

"No need. I got plenty of money. And besides; it was only a note I found inside my coat pocket that I didn't even know I had. Heck, I didn't even know the pocket was there."

Roy frowned. "Good, good…"

Edward put his hands behind his head, looking quite at ease. "What's on your mind, man?"

"When you said I 'went crazy', what exactly did you mean?" Roy asked, giving voice to his concerns. If he'd blurted out to Edward what he'd been dreaming… Well, it wasn't something he'd have willingly shared in any other circumstance.

Edward stiffened. Then he shrugged lightly, attempting a look of nonchalance. "You said something about the war. And Riza. And some nonsense about flames

"I said something else, didn't I?" Roy prompted. "What was it?"

"You said my name," Edward admitted, shifting his weight sheepishly.

"What about it?" Roy pried deeper.

"You said…you didn't want me to die and you…warned me to stay away from you and your alchemy. But you thought _I _was Riza, and you kept telling me to keep out of the way of your flames, and you told her to keep me safe." Edward fiddled with the bolts on his auto-mail, busying himself with checking their strength and security.

"That'd be about right," Roy mumbled. "Anythi—"

He broke off, interrupted by a loud fit of coughing.

Edward jumped over, instinct overruling logic. He offered the man the glass of water from the bedside table, not knowing anything else he could do.

Roy took it and drank deeply, ignoring the urge to cough.

"Thanks," he muttered after catching his breath.

"Roy?"

Said military man's head swung around to face his subordinate's. "Yes?"

"I managed to piece together most of it, but I'm curious," Edward said quietly. "What exactly did you dream?"

Roy looked into Edward's golden-amber eyes appraisingly. No, these weren't his normal eyes. They weren't full of that snarky, 'angry-dog' look.

These were full of genuine concern and curiosity.

Edward, uncomfortable at the silence, spoke up. "It's the, uh, alchemist's blood. 'Alchemists seek the truth' and all that…"

Roy thought for a second. "I propose and equivalent exchange," he announced. "If you're as much the alchemist as you say, it should make sense."

Edward nodded. "What do you want?"

"For you to tell me what _you _dreamed."

"Okay." Edward shrugged. "I dreamed that I was in an igloo with Luffy from One Piece, SpongeBob Squarepants, Sasuke from Naruto and Barak Obama. Oh, and Hugh Jackman. Sasuke ended up riding away on a flying mammoth, after teaching Obama the chidori. SpongeBob conjured Alphonse, and all these cats jumped out, and then Hugh Jack—"

"No, no. Just the other night." Roy shook his head. "Your first night around here. And what do you eat at night that makes you dream up stuff like that?"

Edward shrugged again. "Cheese?"

"Your dream, your dream!" Roy repeated.

"Oh. Right. My dream," Edward mumbled. "Well. Well. Well… Wwwweeeell. Mmwell. Wellwell. Er, well."

Roy shifted his numb legs.

Edward continued his 'well'-ing. He started tapping his foot, eyeing Roy warily.

"I-dreamed-of-when-we-did-that-thing," he said quickly, looking down.

"Ah." Roy nodded.

Edward glanced up at Roy, as if asking 'is that enough for you, or do you want me to keep going?'

"I understand. But there's one more thing I want to know; why were you calling out for your father?"

"I don't know. That's what I would have done, wasn't it? That's what little kids do, they call for their moms and dads."

Roy's eyes narrowed, and he began to read Edward's body language. He was lying.

"The truth, Edward."

"Unnghmflfrghkl…" the teen grumbled. Then he drew his head back, sneering, so he could look down his nose at Roy. "Why do you wanna know?"

"Alchemists seek the truth," Roy said, in as good an impression of Edward he could. Then he gave an exasperated smirk, motioning with his hand for Edward to come sit on the bed.

The teen complied, still regarding Roy with a suspicious look.

"Why do you think?" Roy asked.

"Because…you're a nosy bastard?"

"No, Edward. It's because I care about you and it's not my wish to see you tortured by your own mind," Roy responded. Then he shrugged. "Also I'm curious."

"I…" Edward stopped, dumbstruck. This confirmed his suspicions. Both the ones about Roy actually being capable of human emotions, and the one about him directing said emotions towards our young blonde hero.

"So," Roy prompted. "Answer me."

"I'm gonna go through the whole 'umm' thing again, y'know," Edward stated.

"I can wait."

And so Edward began the elongated ritual of hesitations and ellipsis, 'umm's and 'er's, stumbling through the almost never-practised art of expressing himself.

From what Roy had managed to gather, the younger alchemist had cried out for his father after dreaming of his and Alphonse's attempt at human transmutation, and that the Colonel himself had been there at the time, hovering in the background and watching Edward's agony.

Due to the way that Roy had been treating him the past few days, Edward seemed to have subconsciously slotted Roy into the vacant position of father.

"You wouldn't really do that, would you…?" Edward mumbled, seemingly distressed.

"No. Of course not. No-one would leave you to suffer like that," Roy answered. "Especially not me. I'll always be here for you, and I'm always going to help you. Even if you don't want me to. That's what fathers do. And since your own dad couldn't do that for you, I'll give it my best shot."

Edward looked up, eyes wide. "You'd do that…? But what if… What if you end up getting hurt…like Hughes did?"

"That's just a risk I'll have to take. And besides, I've got a lot more in my arsenal than Maes ever did. If anyone tries anything on me, they've got a death wish."

Edward grinned, his eyes taking back that sparky look. "Right. And if you're looking out for me, I'd better do the same for you too."

Roy admired his determination.

"And now," the boy said. "Back to our equivalent exchange. Your dream. Spill."

"…" Roy's brow furrowed. "…I don't remember it."

Edward's face hit the ground. He jumped back up, shouting, "LIAR! YOU LIE!"

"Yeah, yeah," Roy snorted sarcastically. "I remember some of it. I remember…smoke. Smoke and fire."

**Thanks to all you wonderful reviewers, I seriously ****_love _****getting all your responses. Thanks so much!**

**And also, also…! I finished writing the story! XD Now I just hafta type it all…**

**And as a final note (I just wanted to let you know) to Dashita Tichou; I did some research before writing this, and a body temp. above 107.6 (42, in degrees Celsius) is fatal. The reason Roy's fever is so stupidly high is because I'm so freaking O. T. T. :D**

**And also because I figured Edward would only panic if it were really bad.**

**Please review! Even if all it says is the letter 'W'! (Though I'd prefer it was longer.)**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm ****_ba-a-ack! _**

**Chapter 23; Smoke and Fire**

"Riza! Riza!"

Gunfire echoed across the desolate plain, startling Roy's heart into overdrive. He glanced about, dancing flames reflected in his dark eyes. Those eyes that had been so bright, so inquisitive, watching the world in all it's glory.

Those eyes had seen war.

They were sharp, suspicious, staring everything down with outright analytical cynicism, expecting every man to whip out a weapon and take his life.

Flames licked at the sparse yellow grass, smoke billowing thick and strong throughout the stifling, oppressive air. It sent a bolt of fear through Roy's frame.

Bodies, burnt beyond recognition, covered the ground, seeping blood onto the charred earth.

"Riza," he said, addressing the woman at his side. "Stay well clear of the flames."

Riza murmured something.

Roy coughed, the smoke irritating his throat and stinging his eyes. Fire burned fiercely, both in the field and in his chest.

"I can feel them. The flames. It's so hot Riza, and the smoke hurts my throat," Roy rasped, turning to the Lieutenant.

"Roy, you got fever. Of course you're bloody well hot! And your throat's gonna be sore too, there's no need to exaggerate!" Riza exclaimed.

Roy shook his head, denying Riza's statement. "No, I can see the fire so vividly. It must be real. And I can smell that smell…death. And smoke. I did that Riza! I _killed _them!" Roy thrust his finger at the corpses littering the bloodied battleground.

No, not battleground; bloodbath. _Slaughter-zone._

"This war, I want it to end. Please let it end… I can't take much more of this. So many bodies…they used to have lives…children…homes…and I took it away! I killed them… I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you. Stay away from me. Away from my flames." His eyes burned with tears that could never be shed. Not for anyone, not here.

Not in this place that didn't deserve his emotions.

Roy clutched his chest, bowing his head before his Lieutenant. "Riza…Riza, if I die here, keep him safe for me."

He looked up, begging. "Don't…Don't let him get caught in my flames. He can't die. I won't let him die."

An enemy launched himself from no-where, and Roy turned instinctively to intercept him. He whipped out a hand, wearing an ignition glove soaked in soot, and threw the man into a wristlock.

He smashed the attacker into the ground then clicked his fingers, sending out a blast of flame and ending the man's life in one brief second. He was dead before he knew it.

The man fell to the ground, eyes dull and lifeless, body scorched and bleeding. His skin was thoroughly seared and his clothes were blackened and charred, there was no way that Roy could tell who this man used to be. He could have been Ishbalan, or a soldier of the Amestrian army. Roy didn't know, nor did he care to find out.

All that mattered now was that he was dead.

Flames still roared out around the Colonel and his Lieutenant. A shout echoed within the blazing inferno. A deathly familiar shout.

"Don't you dare touch him!" Roy shouted at the fire. "I'll kill you if I have to!"

But there was no way to kill this fire, and Roy knew that. He started forward, but Riza grabbed his arm. The man slumped, a distraught expression on his sooty face.

"Stop it…" he pleaded, falling to his knees. "I can't take the fire anymore. I want to get out, but I can't leave you behind. I have to fight for everyone. I can't desert you here…not in this hell."

Roy breathed a heavy sigh, coughing slightly. "Protect him. Please don't let him get hurt. Don't let him die. I won't be able to hold on any longer if he dies… I won't be able to keep it quiet any longer."

"Keep who safe? Who is it you wanna protect so badly?"

"Edward Elric."

* * *

"That's all I remember," Roy finished, blushing ever so slightly.

Well, Edward thought he was, but it might just have been the fever.

"I don't blame you if you think I'm nuts," Roy muttered.

Edward nodded, frowning slightly and not speaking. He contemplated Roy's confession for a while before shaking his head and saying, "No, I already knew you were nuts. But that's beside the point."

Roy broke into another fit of hacking coughs, his body jerking with each one.

Edward snapped up, handing the man the rest of his water and coaxing him to breathe slowly until his coughing subsided.

"Again, thanks," Roy rasped, rubbing his throat.

"Here." Edward turned, grabbed at the cabinet and looked back, holding at arm's length a brown bottle. "The doctor left this for you."

Roy opened his mouth to speak.

Edward held up his hand, shushing him. "Stay quiet. That way you can't hurt yourself."

The man nodded, looking disgruntled.

Edward read through the directions, muttering his distaste for the medicine as he did. He frowned, and expression of intense focus plastered on his face.

_Careful, careful…_ Edward bit his lip, dripping the liquid slowly onto the spoon.

He drew back, smirking victoriously. "Ha. I did it."

He offered the spoon to Roy, giving him the handle and saying, "I do not intend to spoon-feed you, as I intend to leave you with _some _dignity."

Roy snorted, taking it and licking up the medicine.

Edward snickered as Roy shuddered and pulled a face at the taste of it. "Tasty?"

Roy shook his head vigorously, grimacing.

Edward burst out laughing. "Thought so. I hate the stuff."

Roy nodded, then yawned, rubbing the side of his face.

Edward got the message. "Well, I'm gonna go get my lunch. You don't want anything, do you?"

Roy shook his head. He was about to flop down to sleep when he remembered something. He grabbed Edward's wrist as the boy turned to leave, giving it a sharp tug.

"What?" The teen looked back at him.

Roy frowned, dropping Edward's arm. He hadn't really thought about how he was going to go about this. He took a deep breath, coughed again, then pointed at the floor.

Edward gave him a quizzical glance. "The floor?"

Roy shook his head, jabbing a finger downward.

"Downstairs?"

Roy nodded.

"Yeah," Edward said. "That's where I'm going."

Roy continued. He pointed at the stud button on his collar.

"Huh? Shirt?" Edward looked confused.

Roy shook his head again, pointing directly at the stud.

Edward stared intensely. "Collar?"

Shake.

"White?"

Shake.

"Button?!"

Roy rolled his wrist in an attempt to tell Edward he almost had it.

"Stud?!"

Roy waved furiously, telling Edward to elaborate.

"Stud…Stud…stud…Study?!"

Roy nodded.

"What about it?"

Roy flicked his hands about in an attempt to mime a person reading.

"Uh, bee?"

Shake.

"Ooh! Read? Reading?! Book!"

Nod.

This part would be hard. Roy looked around, then spied what he was looking for.

He pointed at the shelf on the far wall, which held a small collection of photographs and ornaments.

"Hm…Photo?"

Shake.

"Horse?" Edward was referring to the small statuette of a pony on the shelf.

Shake.

"Uh…Shelf?"

Nod.

Roy clapped his hands slowly. _Put them together, Ed! Bookshelf! _Bookshelf!

"Uhh…um…Bookshelf!"

Roy nodded frantically.

"Your bookshelf? What about it?" Edward asked.

Roy mimed pulling.

"Pull it? You want me to pull your bookshelf?"

Roy nodded, then whispered, "There might be something…behind there…that might keep you busy. I can't…guarantee it'll help you…but it might give you some…ideas."

"O-okay," Edward said, blinking. "I'll check that out."

Roy nodded, lying back down to sleep. He'd kicked the thick winter quilts aside already, and was content enough to make do with a sheet.

"Oh, yeah." Edward went over to the bedside cabinet, retrieving the damp cloth he'd previously used on Roy's face. He plunged it once again into the icy water then wrung it out.

Roy cracked open an eye, alerted by the noise of splashing water. _What's wet? Where?_

He caught sight of Edward's hand and then there was a cool dampness on his forehead and the teen said, "There. That oughta do it."

Roy mumbled a thank you and fell asleep again, hoping he wouldn't have to dream.

Edward exited the room and headed back downstairs, not knowing he and Roy had just invented and played Amestris' first ever game of charades.

**Chapter my favourite number times two; Edana and the Silly Brother (A. K. A., Enter Alphonse Elric!)**

Alphonse fingered his long tassel of hair, thinking. _It's really dirty…_

The boy who was naught but a soul sat on the carpeted floor of the hotel room, quite bored.

He looked to the side. His elder brother's suitcase laid, abandoned, beside the sofa, patiently awaiting it's owner's return.

Alphonse, no matter how much patience he had, was still a teenage boy with absolutely nothing to do, and was henceforth bored out of his…err, helmet. _Big brother…when are you coming back?_

"Myaa?"

Alphonse brightened. The plus-side to Edward's absence was that the younger Elric could keep a feline companion in the hotel with him.

The cat in question came strutting into the room, tail held high. She was tiny, with glossy yellow tabby fur and eyes the colour of honey. She had a loud and fiery personality that reminded Alphonse of his brother, prompting him to give her the name 'Edana'.

Alphonse reached out a hand and she rubbed her cheek along his finger, closing her fingers and purring happily. She head-butted Alphonse's wrist playfully, pawing at the spikes on his forearm.

Alphonse giggled slightly and she jumped, startled by the noise. This made him laugh harder and she rolled onto her back, revealing fluffy white belly fur.

"Are you hungry, Edana?" Alphonse asked, stroking her cheek fondly.

"Meow!" Edana squeaked in reply, jumping to her tiny white paws.

"Okay, then." Alphonse stood up and made his way to the room's small kitchen, essentially a few cupboards, a sink and a refrigerator. The place had a restaurant, which Alphonse had never needed of course.

He opened the fridge, grabbed a bottle of milk and a can of tuna he'd bought for the cat, and placed them both in small bowls on the floor. Edana happily inhaled them.

They both jumped at an unexpected noise.

_Ri-ring! Ri-ring!_

Alphonse dashed over and grabbed the phone off the wall. "Hello? Brother?"

"Yo."

"…Are you doing impressions of Mr Hughes?" Alphonse asked, slightly puzzled.

"No. I just thought I'd start off with something new…"

"Oh. Okay."

"Are you—"

"I'm fine. I'm eating well and I'm using my manners and all that. Heck; I even drank some milk."

"Liar," Alphonse said with a snort.

"…okay, you got me," Edward admitted. "But the rest of that stuff I did do, though. And I fixed my auto-mail up when it was wet, _and _I polished it. See, I'm spoiling Winry."

"That's not spoiling her, big brother. That's just general maintenance," Alphonse pointed out.

"Well I don't normally do it as thoroughly as I did, so I'm spoiling her. There. But enough of that, how are _you_?"

"Yup!" Alphonse chirped, enlightened by the sound of his brother's voice.

"You're awfully chipper, there," Edward said, with a hint of laughter.

"I was really bored, and you haven't called for a while. I guess that it feels a little weird not having you about," Alphonse explained.

"So that you can watch me while I sleep? Follow me 'round? Ask me a tonne of questions? Wash my clothes? Smell my hair?" Edward joked.

"Sure, sure," Alphonse replied. "Your hair smells very nice. And I can totally smell it even though I have no nose."

Edward snorted in laughter, asking. "Did you polish your armour?"

"Yeah, but I think I missed a spot on my back. I don't really know."

"Then come 'round here and let me take a look at ya," Edward proposed.

"Hm?!" Alphonse jumped. "To the Colonels house?!"

"Yeah, why not? He wouldn't mind, I promise. Plus, there's something I hafta show you," Edward said, suddenly sounding very excited.

"Mmm…okay." Alphonse gave in. "How is the Colonel, by the way?"

"Oh, he's sleeping it off. I mean, his fever was at one-oh-seven or something before…"

"One-oh-seven?! One hundred and seven?! Brother that's really bad! That's like, a critical fever!" Alphonse cried out, startling Edana into bouncing over, ears pricked.

"One-oh-seven _before, _Al, before. I called a doctor—"

"Oh, good on you, brother!"

"Shut up! It was only 'cuz I didn't know what else to do! Anyway, he left some medicine and now Mustang's mostly fine."

"Mostly?"

"Yeah, yeah. But enough about him," Edward dismissed his brother's worries about Roy's health as Edana sprung onto the arm of the sofa and then onto Alphonse's shoulder. "There's something I wanna show you."

"Okay then. But make sure it's okay with the Colonel first. I don't want to intrude," Alphonse said, reaching up to rub at Edana's scruff.

On the other end of the line, Edward brushed away a fake tear. "My dearest little brother; the picture of politeness and courtesy. Relax, Al. I can guarantee he won't care. And besides; I've already intruded on anything and everything capable of being intruded on."

Alphonse sighed.

"Nothing escapes the brilliant skills of detection Edward Elric boasts! Muahaha! Now get around here, quick!"

"See you soon then, brother," the younger Elric said, shaking his head/helmet exasperatedly.

"Yup, uh-huh."

Alphonse hung up, looking at Edana. "What'll I do with him? Silly brother, eh?"

The little cat purred, rubbing her jaw across Alphonse's non-existent cheek.

"Yeah… Silly brother."

**Chapter 25; Roy's Research**

_Diin-dong!_

Edward abandoned his current occupation, darting down the hallway to answer the doorbell.

Alphonse stood there, Edward's suitcase at his feet. "Hi, brother."

"Hey, Al. Didja miss me?" Edward leant out and grasped his suitcase, grabbing Alphonse's hand as he did so. "Let's get a look at you."

He inspected his younger brother's back, analysing the way the light shone off the metal, looking for any sign of rust or dullness. "I think you're okay, Al. Now, c'mon, there's something I _have _to show."

Closing the door behind himself, Alphonse followed his elder brother down the hallway.

Edward's auto-mail hand gripped his brother's arm tightly, his discovery causing him smile widely and pull with such vigour that it made the armoured soul stumble.

"Slow down, brother!"

"Myaa!"

Edward skidded to a halt. "Another cat Al? Really?"

"But she was—"

"Stuck out in the rain?" Edward finished, smirking with one eyebrow raised.

"…yeah."

"Forget about it for now, just come and see this."

He slipped back into Roy's study, the room that had become so familiar to him over the past few days.

"Is this…?" Alphonse started to say.

"Roy's study? Yes." Excitement fluttered in Edward's chest, like a tiny flame having been set alight in the midst of an icy cave, thawing out what had frozen over through months of failure. "Look at this."

Edward heaved aside a bookshelf, grunting with effort.

"Brother, what are you doing?" Alphonse asked, removing his helmet to allow Edana to jump out. The kitten landed on the armchair and settled herself down, purring.

"She's like you, brother," Alphonse said, watching as Edward gave one last almighty push and shoved the shelves away to reveal another set tucked neatly into the wall directly behind it.

"Alphonse, it's full of the Colonel's research journals! On everything! Notes on flame alchemy, notes on transmutation, notes on the military…"

Edward grinned, wiping sweat from his brow. "And even notes on the military's research of the philosopher's stone. There are even some written by really high ranking State Alchemists, some of whom worked on the experiments the military performed trying to create one!"

"B-brother! How did you…?!" Alphonse exclaimed, looking the shelf up and down. Hi mind went back to Edward's earlier statement.

_I've already intruded on anything and everything capable of being intruded on!_

Alphonse looked back at his grinning brother, aghast. "Y-you didn't…?!"

Edward laughed. "Don't worry, Al, he was the one that told me about it! He said there might be something here to keep me busy, and he was damn well right!"

The young blonde alchemist tossed a notebook to his brother, still laughing. "So get reading, Al!"

"Alright!" Alphonse dropped to the floor with a clonk, the floor muffling most of the noise, and flipped open the book.

Edana watched with one eye as Edward grabbed three notebooks, some sheets of paper and a pen then did the same, saying, "There's some paper on the desk if ya' need any, 'kay?"

"Mm-hm!" Alphonse nodded, scanning the page with his glowing eyes.

Edward's gaze locked on the first of the books, fixated on Roy's handwriting. Once again reality slipped away like rain washing chalk off the sidewalk, and left the boy floating in the words.

**_And now! A small (seven hour) time-skip, to eight in the evening!_**

The Elric brothers had a peculiar way of talking. Their words often had a second meaning, and it took someone special to be able to decode them.

"Aaaah." _Crap. I'm tired._

"Tired, brother?" _Are you going to sleep? You look exhausted._

"Just a little." _No, I'm not going to sleep. I'm fine._

"Maybe you should take a break then." _Go to sleep! I'm telling you!_

"No, I'm good. I can keep going. Plus, I've almost…aaah…almost cracked this one." _No way! I'm gonna stay here!_

"Are you sure? You look sleepy." _C'mon, it's not good for you to do that. You'll get sick._

"I'm fine. I'll be done in a few minutes anyway…" _YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!_

_Voices, _Roy realised. _I can hear voices._

He turned his head to face the study door, blinking back sleep. _Is this a dream? Crap. If this is a dream…_

He looked at the glass in his hand, sighing. _If this is a dream then that means I'll have to wake up then get out of bed _again _to come downstairs and get a drink._

He poked himself in the head a couple of times. _No, I felt that. Must be awake then._

Surprisingly, Roy was glad to be awake. Lying in bed, he'd drifted for hours in a land of half-wakefulness, unable to tell where reality ended and his feverish mind decided to pull him back into the days of living hell he'd experienced during the Eastern Rebellion. For all he knew, he'd spent the last few hours burning down houses and schools, murdering countless innocents.

Again, not the best part of his life.

The past few days had been quite uncomfortable for him, not only because of his dreams, but because of his body's rapid changes between stifling heat and numb coldness. His throat itched and when he coughed, it sent stinging pain through his diaphragm and brought tears to his eyes.

Not to mention the fuzziness in his sore head and the dull ache that seemed to fill his whole body, and that his legs protested with every step.

But Roy wasn't a man to complain.

Unless it involved paperwork.

He shrugged and pushed on the door, peering in.

"Hello, sir. Are you well?"

Roy blinked as he realised he'd been addressed by a large suit of armour. _Alphonse._

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine… Well, I'm a little worse for wear, but more or less okay," Roy told him. "That medicine the doctor left really seemed to do the trick."

"Glad to hear it. I hope brother hasn't been too much of a hassle," Alphonse said, with a meaningful glance at the yellow haired teen.

"Well, shocking as it is, he's been a good help. Apart from the time he tried to cook himself breakfast."

"Brother! I told you not to try cooking again," the younger brother scolded. "Not after what you did to Winry's kitchen!"

"Cooking's a heckuvva lot easier with alchemy!" Edward defended himself. "And besides, I'm a man; I don't hafta be able to cook!"

"That's a little sexist, brother."

"I'm not being sexist! _You're _being sexist!"

"But I didn't say anything."

Roy shook his head in disbelief. _It's hard to remember that Alphonse is the _younger _brother._

"Have you been here long, Alphonse?" Roy enquired, glancing around his study.

Books and papers covered in equations littered the floor and there was a cat asleep in his armchair.

"Erm, since just after one, sir. Sorry about the mess," Alphonse replied. "Brother, didn't you tell him I was coming?"

Edward shrugged. "He was sleeping."

Alphonse dipped his head apologetically."Sorry, sir."

"Please, I'm not on duty. It's Roy," the man said, waving away formalities. "And my study's normally such a mess anyway, this is probably an improvement."

Edward, half-asleep at this stage, reached up to scratch at his neck and then dropped his arm back down clumsily.

_Clang!_

"Mmwuh…?" He jerked up, startled by the noise his arm made when it knocked into his leg. There were dark rings under his golden eyes, the results of hours of tedious studying and worrying.

"I'm thinking you need some rest," Roy decided, grabbing Edward's wrist and pulling the boy up, exercising his aching arms. _Bed for you. Resistance is futile._

"I'm thinking that I'm okay to go without it for a few more hours," Edward replied, attempting a tired scowl. _Over my dead body. You cannot make me!_

"I think not." _Come. Now._ Roy dragged Edward out of the room, Alphonse glancing at him quizzically and cocking his head.

Roy coughed once, then pushed the boy into the spare room. "Stay put." _You need your rest, I'm telling you that._

"I hate you, y'know that?" Edward responded. _…Thanks._

"Your brother mightn't tire, but you sure do. Now take your rest and stop making him worry over you, soldier," Roy ordered.

"Yeah, yeah," Edward replied, yawning. "Make sure you take s'more o' that stuff Dawson left…" He frowned. "Did you just call me 'soldier'?"

Oh, how Roy _detested _that part of his life.

"Whoops… Must've gotten mixed up there."

Edward shrugged exhaustedly. "To be honest, you could have told me I was so short I could be squashed flat by the butt of a shotgun and I wouldn't have…WHO ARE YOU CALLING THAT?!"

"I didn't say that. Now go to sleep already."

Roy watched as the young alchemist flopped thankfully onto the bed and was snoring away within seconds.

As it turned out, Roy Mustang could understand that hidden dialogue.

**Phew! Sorry for the wait! Well, as you know, this storyline has been finished, (just hafta type it) and I now have an epic idea for a next story! It's ingenious, if I do say so myself. Look forward to it!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 26; You and Me both (Yup. This Chapter is seriously the second with just the number and the name. Seriously. No witty remarks, at all, whatsoever, I haven't said a single…crap.)**

Roy dragged himself back downstairs, muscles protesting. He swore as his toe slammed into a balustrade, sending a bolt of pain up his leg.

"Colonel Mustang?" Alphonse's reverberating voice sounded from just down the hallway. "Are you okay?"

"Yup," Roy growled through clenched teeth.

The younger of the two brothers Elric clanked down the hallway, his eyes glowing in the half-light.

Roy dropped down on the bottom step, clutching his bare foot. "Ouch."

Alphonse stopped before him. "Do you need help?"

"Nah, just stubbed my toe. And please, it's Roy," the man said with a cough.

"Okay then. I'm sorry if big brother's been causing you any trouble, I'm sure you've figured that's just the way he is," Alphonse said, his voice holding an apologetic tone.

"Ah, it's fine. Edward will be Edward. Frankly, I'd be worried if my house is left the same way as when he arrived."

Alphonse sighed with the breath that wasn't there. "He always leaves his mess for other people to clean up. I wish he'd take it easy for just _once in his life!"_

"Doesn't everyone?" Roy snorted. "But that's just the way he is; he won't slow down 'til he's reached his goal, even if he hurts himself in the process. Or blows up all of Eastern City."

Alphonse sat down beside Roy, who was staring off down the hallway with glazed eyes, thinking.

"You got it bang on you know," the boy/armour/soul announced. "That's exactly what brother is."

"Yeah… There was a stage where I was like that, too…" Roy mumbled. "When I was younger."

"You?" said Alphonse, sounding sceptical. "That's hard to imagine."

Roy laughed. "If you want proof, just ask…" He broke off, the light dying in his eyes. "…Maes."

Alphonse jumped. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to—"

"Never mind it. There are just times when I forget…" Roy trailed off again, his hands shaking. "…that no-one can talk to that blabbermouth anymore…"

Alphonse's armour clanked as he turned his head to look at the Colonel. "I'm sorry for your loss…"

"We all are. But I just have to remember if he were here, then he'd tell me to stop being so mopey and cheer up. And then he'd tell me to get a wife. And you should stop saying sorry so much. I've counted at least five since you arrived. Have more faith," Roy advised.

"Yes, sir."

"Roy."

"Right, Mr Roy."

"Just Roy."

"Okay, sor—"

"Don't say it."

"So—"

"Stop apologising."

"Okay, then."

Roy shifted his leg back onto the floor, satisfied that his toe wasn't broken. "And most of all, stop apologising for your brother. He needs to do that for himself."

"Yeah, I know, and I ought to tell him that, but…it's not like he'd listen anyway…" Alphonse shrugged. "He's got too much pride for apologies. I just don't want people thinking we're totally uncivilised or whatever."

"Eh. I'll hafta beat some manner into 'im then," Roy joked half-heartedly.

"He never takes breaks," Alphonse continued. "He's always on the go, hardly giving himself time to breathe. He doesn't rest, and when he's hurt, he just pretends like nothing's wrong. It drives me nuts, sometimes. And he tries to hide the fact that he still has nightmares occasionally. He doesn't me coming into his room when he's asleep. But lately, I can tell there's been something more bothering him."

Roy nodded, listening intently. "What do you mean?"

"It's just that…he's been acting strangely, and I can't quite figure out what's wrong with him. Of course, he won't tell me, so I don't know if it's anything I can fix."

Roy gave another resolute nod. "His way of keeping people from worrying about him contradicts itself in the way that not telling anyone makes them worry _more_."

Alphonse murmured in agreement. "He's stupid like that. But I still worry about him."

"You and me both," Roy mumbled. "You and me both…"

"But you know," Alphonse started. "Brother remembers things a lot better than I do. There are times when I forget what I used to look like…what our house was like…how stew tastes…what mom's voice sounded like…"

Roy looked up at Alphonse again.

"Whenever I do, brother is the one to remind me. I think though, sometimes, he's trying so hard to remember all those things for me, trying to keep my face in his memory, that he forgets what he needs to remember _now._"

Roy looked at him quizzically. "I'm not quite sure I understand."

"What I mean to say is that big brother, when he gets the way he was the other day, he starts living somewhere else and all he does is focus on the things we've lost, and what we're trying to get back. And he doesn't think to look at what we've gained. I mean, it's not much at all, but…there's new knowledge we wouldn't have obtained if we'd taken another path…and all the people we met."

Silence.

"Roy?"

"Mm?"

"Did you say something to my brother?"

Roy looked up, puzzled. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Well, it's just… Before he left the other day, brother was acting a little…"

**Chapter was-it-26-or-27?; THE WHOLE CHAPTER IS A BIG LONG FLAAAAASHBACKO!**

"I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS!" shouted Edward, throwing his arms in the air with a loud huff.

"Of what, brother?" Alphonse asked, looking across the lobby towards him.

"Of that damn Colonel Bastard treating us like we're fools at his disposal! I hate it! He sends us away on all these pointless missions, and doesn't even apologise when we come back empty handed after some ridiculously long-winded expedition to a random remote place to investigate a _totally unrelated case with absolutely NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE!"_ Edward broke off, panting heavily.

People stared as they passed the two brothers, one adorned in, or rather _attached _to, a large suit of armour, and the second being a loud, lengthy haired pipsqueak dressed in slightly strange attire.

The latter was ranting at the top of his lungs, drawing the attention of several passers-by.

"And then, he just goes, 'Ah well! It's not my fault you're chasing after a myth, pipsqueak!' I'm not a freakin' _PIPSQUEAK!_ And that bastard really oughta stop wasting our time!" Edward thumped his fist down onto the arm of the chair, all his frustrations spilling over.

"Brother, I'm as disappointed as you are about all this, but I'm sure the Colonel is trying his hardest—"

Edward cut his brother off. "No, Al! This is it! I've had enough! He wasn't listening to me when I called him over the phone, so now I'm gonna go directly to 'im!" the elder brother yelled, rolling up his sleeves to reveal his two mismatched arms, one warm, soft flesh and the other cold, hard steel.

He snatched his cloak from the back of the sofa and threw it over his shoulder, storming towards the door.

"Watch my stuff for me, Al!" he roared. "I'm gonna go talk some sense into that son of a b*****!"

"Big brother! W-wait! What are you—"

But Edward was already gone, cloak billowing.

Alphonse sighed, looking out the door. "Just don't do anything violent… Ah, who am I kidding?"

* * *

Anger surged within Edward chest like a caged beast, setting his blood burning. "No more, bastard. No. F******. More."

He slammed his fist against a nearby wall, in an attempt to release some of the pent up frustration roaring like a beast within him.

But the stress was still there, pressing and clawing at his chest. He ducked down a side alley and out of sight.

"Rrkh!" he grunted, slamming punches into the brick wall. He imagined a sparring match, raising his arms and darting about and jabbing at it. By the time he'd relieved most of the burning stress, his white gloves were dirty and his left hand throbbed painfully.

He whipped off his glove, cursing as he saw the beginnings of some bad bruises spreading across his knuckles.

_Damn, _he thought. _Al won't be too happy with that._

Grumpily, he shoved the glove back on and set off back down the street to Eastern Command. Kicking at the rocks in his path, Edward rammed his hands into his trouser pockets.

Now that all the stress and fury had burnt out, all that was left in the teen's chest was ice-cold, empty, depression.

Another mission had passed by, another week wasted, another cold trail. Once again, they were back where they'd started; no-where.

After three, nearly four, years of searching, Edward and Alphonse were still stuck as half a boy and an empty suit of armour. It was beginning to drive him up the wall.

Once again, Edward was plagued by the question that refused to leave him; how could we have lost so much and gained so little?

It didn't make sense. How could they have searched so long and still have no answers? How was it that all they seemed to be able to do was cause people pain?

Frustrated, Edward slammed his auto-mail foot into a pebble, sending it skittering down the footpath and into an old man's leg.

He started forward. "Hey, uh, sorry abou—"

"Watch it, kid!" the man shouted, turning to shake a fist. He shuffled off, grumbling, "Kids these days…"

Edward felt like shouting after him, but settled for angry muttering. "Fine then, old geezer. Be that way. I try to apologise for once, and you just go and _cut me off anyway!_ Hmph."

A woman pushed past him, ignoring his exclamation of surprise and indignation. A man bumped him. Another man. Another woman.

A burly youth smashed past him, shoving him roughly to the side. "Watch where you're goin', shorty!"

Any other day, Edward would have roared back at the top of his lungs, but today was not any other day. All he said was, "'M not short."

"What was that, shrimp-cake? Ya say somethin'?" the youth turned, balling his fists threateningly.

"I said, 'I'm not short'," Edward muttered, glaring half-heartedly. "What's the matter with you then, bad ears? And don't call me 'shrimp-cake'."

"Oh, really?" He stepped forward, sneering and raising a fist. "I might hafta knock ya back down to size, then!"

"Go ahead," Edward offered, raising his arms in a shrug. "It's your own risk if you break a few fingers trying it, bone-head."

He rammed Edward into the wall with his elbow, one arm across his chest and the other drew back in the start of a sloppy hay-maker punch.

The impact of the wall sent a wave of pain down Edward's back, aggravating the bruises he'd received on his last mission. He'd gotten a right peppering of punches after underestimating the speed and strength of the thief he'd been chasing.

Something he'd learnt not to do again.

People hurried past, pretending not to notice as the youth swung his fist forward and Edward's right hand flew up to meet it, creating a resounding _clang_.

There was a crack as one of Edward's attacker's fingers broke. "Wh-what the…?! What the hell are you wearing under there?!"

"Nothing," Edward replied simply, watching as the youth drew his shaking hand away, eyes wide with disbelief. "It's called auto-mail, genius."

Edward brought up his hands and clapped lightly, then tapped the surface of the wall behind him. Several stone hands materialised and thrust the offender back on to the ground. Edward's face remained expressionless as the hands reverted into the wall, leaving behind only the tell-tale patterns of squares that indicated his transmutation.

"Who and what are you?!" the youth exclaimed, clutching his hand.

Edward pulled out his pocket-watch, pretending to examine it as if it were suddenly the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. "Me? Oh, I'm just a 'shorty', apparently. And I'm not in a very good mood. So, if you're _trying _to get beat to a pulp, keep going," Edward's bangs hid his face in shadows, but his fiery glare burned right through. "_You're almost there, buddy."_

"A-a State Alch-chemist!" the gangster scrambled backwards and ran away, whimpering, "Don't hurt me! I'm sorry!"

Edward tucked his watch away again and shouted after him, "That's the 'Fullmetal Alchemist', and don't you forget it!"

His face was still blank as he sighed, thinking, _When did the world become so..so…freezing cold._

He looked to the sky as a chilly blast of wind whipped his hair about his face, and a heavy raindrop splashed onto his cheek. It traced it's way down his face, almost as if it were a tear shed by the young alchemist.

A tear for what the world had become. A cold place, where people were filled with hatred, war tore families and countries apart, and death stalked around every corner.

But no, Edward would not cry for the world. It would have to solve it's own problems, for the Fullmetal Alchemist had his own to tend to.

Starting with Colonel Roy Mustang.

**Chapter sorry-I-forgot-again-but-I-think-it's-28; In Which I Discover that Alphonse is Quite a Hard Character to Write… (Guess what? FLAAAAASHFORWARDO!)**

"…but then, when I came 'round here, brother was fine. He seemed happier, like someone had taken a load off his shoulders just before it could crush him to the ground. Like someone had given him his hope back just when he felt like giving up. Or…like someone had warmed him up when he was freezing cold."

Roy looked at Alphonse. "You're a lot better at that than your brother is."

"Yeah, people always say I take after my mom a lot more than he does, and like he's way more like our dad…" Alphonse mumbled, slightly embarrassed. "I mean, I looked more like mom, and I can cook, and I like kittens… It's a little girly."

"No, I think it's a good thing," Roy said. "Most men don't have the courage to speak about their emotions. Especially not your brother. When it comes to fighting and alchemy, he's top of the class. But he couldn't cook to save his life, and he can't talk about his weaknesses without adding a hundred 'umm's and forty odd unfinished sentences. He's…"

"A little kid through and through?"

"Well, I was going to say he's too closed off, but sure, that works too."

"Okay."

The two sat in silence for a while.

"Yes," Roy admitted eventually. "I did say something to him."

Alphonse said nothing, and Roy wished his metallic face could show emotions.

* * *

Alphonse was thinking that if he had his body, he would be smiling. Smiling in relief. _I'm so glad…brother. I'm so glad._

"Thank you," Alphonse murmured. "When he told me about the research you let him see, he was so happy… Happier than I've seen him in weeks."

"That's…" Roy yawned, stretching his arms. "That's good."

"Am I keeping you up?" Alphonse asked worriedly.

"Not at all," Roy said dismissively. "I haven't slept properly in a long while, so this is nothing new to me. I've had a lot to do recently."

"You should rest up now, then," Alphonse advised. He paused. "There you go; you and big brother have something in common."

Roy closed his tired eyes, smirking. "I suppose."

Alphonse stood with a dull clatter. "Come on, then. You should be resting instead of sitting up here with me."

Roy pushed himself to his feet, feeling somewhat unsteady as the last of his previous energy ebbed away. "Alphonse, would you do me a favour?"

"Of course."

"Could you get me some water, please?" the man asked. "Just use this glass here. The kitchen's just down there."

"Alright," Alphonse replied, taking the glass and clanking off down the hallway.

He filled it, then made his way back down the hallway and upstairs, where he met the Colonel at the top. The man was leaning against the banister, frowning intensely at his bedroom door.

"Um, Roy?"

"Mm?"

"What are you doing, if you don't mind my asking?" the teen armour asked, slightly puzzled.

"I'm trying to figure out whether or not I can make it to my bedroom before my legs give out."

"I see. Do you want any hep?" Alphonse offered.

"That would be much appreciated," answered Roy, gripping the wooden beam tightly.

Alphonse held out his hollow arm, allowing Roy to clutch on to it. He couldn't feel the man's body heat, or how hard he leant against him, but he could see the redness and the sweat on Roy's face, and how his body trembled with exhaustion.

"You've been working way too hard." Alphonse spoke pointedly, recognising the symptoms from the times his brother had overdone it, pushing and pushing at the limits of his body 'til it snapped and everything caught up with him.

"Ah, I'll be fine," Roy assured the boy, clearing his throat. "I'm not that easy to kill off. I won't be done in by a simple cold."

"Just…rest occasionally, okay?" Alphonse said, helping Roy to his bed.

"And you should stop worrying about other people so much," Roy said, wiping his brow on the inside of his elbow. "It's good that you care for your brother, but he has to learn to look after himself sometimes. And make sure he figures out that you won't always be there to patch him up when he needs it. I can almost guarantee there will be some points in your lives where you won't be together, and Edward's going to have to learn that you won't be there at his side to remind him to look after himself."

"Yeah, I know. But still, I think we'll be together for a while yet, at least until we can restore our bodies. Here," Alphonse turned his back to Roy, rummaging through the junk on the bedside table. He set the glass of water down and handed the thermometer to Roy.

"Take your temperature, then have some medicine," Alphonse ordered.

Roy cleaned the thermometer off, then took his temperature. He handed the thing to Alphonse.

"89.7… Your fever is still pretty high, but it's better than what brother said it was before."

He gave the man a spoonful of medicine, and the glass of water to wash it down.

"Why're you helping me like this? You seem to genuinely care for my health." Roy raised his eyebrows, questioning the boy. "Unlike a lot of people, who'd prefer I died right here."

"I do care. It's because you helped my brother, and he really seems to have taken to you, and that's something he hardly ever seems to do anymore."

"Equivalent exchange?"

"No that's brother's mind frame. He believes in that more than I do. It's not only because big brother cares about you, but because I can't stand to see anyone sick, hurt, injured or sad without doing something about it. It's cruel," Alphonse explained, a hint of sadness in his tinny voice.

"The world is cruel," Roy pointed out.

"Then I'll just have to change that!" Alphonse decided. "One step at a time!"

Roy smiled. "That determination must run in your family."

"Perhaps. Well, I'm going to leave you to rest now," Alphonse said, walking to the door. "Do you mind if I stay the night?"

"Not…at all," Roy answered, yawning. "Ah! How can I be that hot when I feel so cold?"

Alphonse laughed. "Brother said the exact same thing once, you know."

"I can imagine," Roy said.

"One thing though; why is there a pineapple in here?"

"…No idea."

**Please review! Thanks to all who do, so glad I managed to inspire you, and make you laugh and cry. Thank you all so much!**


	11. Chapter 11

**YO! Been a while, eh? You guys are in for a long Chapter name here! ****Okay, so, a LOT of things happened, and I haven't had much time to type in my lunchtimes. All of the events are quite boring, so I won't go into any further detail. NOW READ!**

**Chapter the-age-that-Roy-may-or-may-not-be-in-this-story-b ut-most-likely-is-you'll-probably-never-know-and-n either-will-I(29); During Which I was Listening to one of the Brotherhood openings (the one where kid Ed and Al are drawing in the dust at the start and then it goes NEW-NEW-****_NEW-NEW-NEW _**** with the electric guitar and they're running and then they run through each other and they go red and blue and it's like they can't see each other and—SHUT UP! YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF STORY JUST TALKING ABOUT THE NAME OF THE FLIPPING CHAPTER!) For a shorter name, just use 'The Fourth Time a Character Wakes up from a nightmare…I think. (LATER; OH! It's called 'Period', lol. That's the name of that opening…)**

Edward grasped Alphonse's warm hand in his own, leading him down the path through the garden. "Come on, Al. It's really cool. You hafta see."

"Okay, big brother."

Edward's golden eyes were alight with excitement, his younger brother's filled with anticipation.

"What is it?" Alphonse asked.

"You'll see."

So the two walked on, Edward picking up the pace so that his younger brother was now trotting along beside him.

"Is it far?" Alphonse panted, his tiny legs beginning to tire.

"No," Edward replied, smiling. "Just ahead."

"Uwaah!" Alphonse tripped, bringing Edward down with him.

Edward pushed himself up, inspecting his hands for injury. He was fine.

"B-big bro-other…" Alphonse sobbed, wiping his eyes with his wrists. He was sitting on the gravel path, not bothering to try standing up.

There was a small scrape on his knee, seeping a tiny amount of blood. Tears streamed down Alphonse's red cheeks as he cried, calling out for his mother, father and brother.

"It's okay, Al, it's only a little graze," Edward said gently. "Don't cry. You shouldn't cry over something so small. You're a big boy now,"

Alphonse stopped sobbing and looked at his brother, who had come over to crouch in front of him.

"That's what mom said to me, anyway," Edward told him.

"R-really?" Alphonse hiccupped.

"Yeah."

"But it hurts, big brother…" Alphonse whimpered. "Will you sing mom's song for me?"

"If you stand up," said Edward getting up and offering the boy a hand.

"Okay." Alphonse grabbed Edward's hand and he pulled him up.

"Sing," Alphonse prompted.

"But Al, I can't sing…"

"You said," Alphonse whined, pouting. "You said, big brother."

"Fine, fine. I'll sing. But don't expect me to do it again!"

Alphonse squeaked joyously and pressed closer to his brother.

"Here goes…

_I'll hold you tight,_

_Hold you tight, when you're cold._

_I'll warm you up, warm you up,_

_In the freezing cold."_

By the time he'd reached the third verse, Alphonse was leaning against Edward's side, his dark blonde hair lightly brushing against his elder brother's chin.

Edward finished the song.

"Thank you, big brother," Alphonse mumbled. "You sing it even better than mom does."

Edward blushed an angry, embarrassed red. "I do not!"

"It's a umm…c…c…c-comp…compliment! A compliment, big brother! You sing nice!" Alphonse chirped.

"Whatever… But you can't tell Winry I did, though. She'll never let me hear the end of it, 'kay, Al?"

"Okay."

"C'mon. I'll take you back and mom'll fix your knee." Young Edward turned, and what he saw made his breath hitch in his throat.

His shadow, stretching across the dirt, was much longer than it should have been at this time and it was totally out of shape. For one, his shadow wore a cloak which was whipped about as if caught in the wind, and hair tied back in a braid. It pulled back it's sleeves to reveal cold, smooth auto-mail.

Edward turned his head to look at his brother's shadow and gasped, taking a step back.

There it was, sharp and angular, the suit of armour. The suit of armour from the basement.

Slowly at first, the shadows gained colour, so slowly Edward wasn't sure of what he was seeing.

But then they were full colour, and an older Edward stared at the younger with flaring amber gold eyes. The armour became coloured too, a smooth, metallic hue.

Alphonse whimpered beside him, clutching close.

Then the shadows gained substance, growing out of the earth to stand face-to-face with their younger counterparts.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, kid." Edward's older shadow spoke, raising a finger to point at the boy. "A few more years and you'll be stuck this way forever."

The armour nodded towards Alphonse, and removed his helmet. Edward was sickened by the fact that he knew what was coming.

Empty.

"You'll be stuck without a body, never to feel warmth again, never to be loved," he said, his voice rebounding within the hollow suit. _"And it's all his fault."_

A hand of armour pointed towards young Edward's chest, accusingly.

"B-big brother?" Alphonse stammered, his quivering body pressed tightly into Edward's.

"Forever," The two elder Elric brothers said in unison.

A strong breeze picked up and they were gone, nothing but dust in the wind. The breeze picked up, howling and tearing at the two boys and pushing them apart.

"Big brother!" Alphonse wailed, stumbling and reaching out. "Big brother, where are you?!"

"Here, Al! Over here!" Edward shouted, throwing out his arms to his younger brother. He was terrified, reaching out with all his might to reach his beloved brother.

"Big brother! _BIG BROTHER!_" Alphonse shrieked, tears streaming down his petrified face. "Help me!"

Edward fought hard to reach Alphonse, desperately clawing his way through icy blasts of shadow-laced wind. "Al! AL!"

But the younger Elric was fading away into the darkness, his terrified cries echoing through the barren landscape.

"Alphonse! Alphonse!" Edward screamed. "_ALPHONSE!"_

His shouts were not answered.

* * *

Edward gaped, forcing his eyes open and out of his nightmare. He lay there for a few minutes, shivering, with tears trapped in his eyes and his heart pounding wildly in a chest seized with fear.

He sank his fingers into the quilt, twisting it around to make sure it was real. _Okay…right. A dream. Yeah…_

After a few moments, he calmed down quite a bit before realising he was no longer trembling from fear so much as cold. His steel arm bit icily into it's port, sending shivers through his body.

"Brother?"

Edward snapped up, his eyes landing on two glowing red spots. "Al? Z'atchyou?"

"Mm-hm."

"I thought I tol' you not ta come in when I'm sleepin'…" Edward complained, wiping his eyes and pretending that they were filled with the normal tears that came after a yawn.

"Are you okay, brother?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You were calling for me."

"Was I? Oh, well, it was just a dream." Edward shrugged, hoping he didn't appear as badly shaken as he felt.

Alphonse clanked over from the doorway, his bulky silhouette casting sharp, angular shadows across the floor. "Brother, are you shivering?!"

"Yeah, it's a little cold…" Edward pointed out. "And my auto-mail doesn't exactly help any…"

He pulled the blankets up around his shoulders, attempting to gather some warmth from the Roy-scented quilts.

"You had a nightmare, didn't you?" Alphonse said, sounding quite accusing.

"…No…"

"Brother, don't lie to me!"

Those words stung Edward and he recoiled in shock as a stab of guilt sank deep into his chest, hurting him worse than any weapon ever could.

"You know, it wouldn't hurt for you to share these things with me!" Alphonse shouted, his metallic yet childish voice echoing within his hollow chest. "It's not good for you to keep all this hidden! The world isn't going to fall to bits if you talk to me! It's alright for you to be scared, everyone is sometimes! Nobody's invincible, not you, not the Colonel, not even me! So please, stop _hiding_ things!"

Edward blinked, taken aback by his younger brother's sudden outburst. "I-I'm sorry, Al… I never knew…you felt that way… I just…I didn't want to worry you."

Alphonse looked to the side, his helmet unable to put into an expression the obvious emotional turmoil bubbling within the soul tied to the blood-seal. "I'm sorry, just… Please don't lie to me, brother. Sometimes I feel like you're the only one I can trust, and if you lie to me…who am I supposed to trust? There's no one else who'll understand…"

"There's always me."

Both Elric brothers turned, surprised to see Colonel Roy Mustang standing in the doorway, leaning heavily on the frame. "If you'll take me, that is. I mean, I can't guarantee I'll be able to understand, but…I'll give it a whack."

Edward blinked blankly for the second time in as many minutes, slightly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of emotion invading the room.

It was too early for this.

In fact, it was still night time, and Edward was too tired to bother himself trying to figure out what was going on.

Alphonse bowed slightly. "Of course! I didn't think to even mention you… I would trust you with my life."

Roy glanced into the darkness in the back corner of the room, catching Edward's eye.

They both knew what the other was thinking.

Alphonse would indeed trust Roy with his life, a bond strengthened through their joint frustrations in cleaning up Edward' messes and a mutual understanding of each other's responsibilities.

But what the young blonde alchemist and his superior officer had was different. Edward would entrust his life to Roy, but he would also give him something worth a lot more.

Edward would trust Roy with his feelings.

This was a bond that was different than the one Alphonse and Roy shared as it went so much deeper; beyond allies, beyond camaraderie, beyond friendship.

This was a bond of family, of a father and a son.

Although he occupied space very close to Roy's heart, this was something Alphonse could never achieve.

The room was quiet for a while, no-one making any attempt to break the thick silence that hung in the air. This lasted about up 'til Roy collapsed on to his knees, coughing heavily, and Edward's body got sick of his disrespect towards his requirements and went, 'Screw you all I'm going to sleep', causing the young alchemist to give a quiet moan before his eyes fell shut and he flopped back onto the bed.

This left a rather flustered Alphonse squeaking in dismay and confused as to which person he should be seeing to first.

**Chapter Holy-mother-of-French-fountain-foghorn-fudge-I've- written-30-Chapters!; In Which I Break the Fourth Wall and Alphonse's Purpose in this Story is Questioned**

"Big brother! Time to wake up! It's like, two in the afternoon and also, I'm bored!"

Alphonse's voice broke into Edward's dream, the one where he was running through a forest with PSY and Knuckles the Echidna, with the whole cast of Dragon Ball doing the Harlem Shake in the background.

"Mmnnghffn… Mno… Not the Gangnam Style…"

"Brother, _get up!_ I have something to show you!"

Edward pulled the blanket over his head, moaning. "But 'm _tired_… I don' _wanna_…"

"Brother, get up already!" Alphonse said, pulling the blankets away.

Edward growled, curling around his auto-mail and muttering incoherent curses. "No. Go away."

Alphonse's non-existent forehead vein pulsed. He angled his arms into position above his elder brother's torso and pressed them down, the cold metal meeting his warm flesh.

Edward jerked and yelped in shock, his eyes snapping open to reveal startled amber-gold irises. "Gyaak! What the hell?!"

He sprang back and toppled off the bed with a shout, smacking his head on the floor. "Al! What'ja do that for?!" he complained, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head.

"Because it wakes you up."

"But it's _cold! _That was cruel, Al, real cruel!" Edward whimpered, snatching at the quilts. "There isn't even any reason for you to wake me, it's not like we've got anything to do…"

"You're such a little kid."

"I'm older than _you!"_

"Just come on. I cracked the code on Camerons' research journal, and although there's only a few vague references to who was working on the stone and where, it's actually quite interesting. I think if you took a look at it, you might be able to—"

"Aw, come on Al… I really wanna help, but my head's all fluff right now… I'm really tired and I don't know why. I couldn't even give you half the Periodic table," Edward mumbled, scowling. "Heck, I might not even get past beryllium. See; hydrogen, helium…aluminium…gold…beryllium…Americium…Einstein ium… Eh, rock…palladium… umm…Edwardium?"

"Well, at least put your hair up," Alphonse replied with a sigh.

"One day…" Edward mumbled, sounding evil. "One day, _I will discover a new element, and I will name it after myself!" _ He laughed quietly. Quietly, but _maniacally…!_

Alphonse's glowing eyes narrowed, and he shook his helmet of a head. _Where did he get such a big head from?_

"The reason I woke you is because the doctor is due back here for a check-up in half an hour," the younger brother informed his evil-scheming elder sibling.

"WHAT?!"

* * *

"Alright, so, I've given him a shot that should clear out whatever's left of the virus in a few days time. He's almost fully recovered, but will require a few more days' bed rest… And what exactly _are you doing, _if I may?"

Dawson had indeed returned that very day for a full check-up, bringing with him an injection that would apparently speed up the man's recovery and stop the symptoms from continuing after he'd gotten better.

Edward had been crouching on top of Alphonse for the past half an hour.

"Brother?"

"What?" Edward snapped.

"Why _are _you on top of me?"

"For fun!"

"…Okay…"

Edward rubbed his nose, scowling. "Yup."

Roy smirked, sighing. Edward's eyes hadn't left Dawson's needle since he'd pulled it out of his medical kit.

"Yeah. For fun," he echoed, rubbing his bare shoulder tenderly.

Edward glared suspiciously at Dawson's equipment, looking like a cat with his fur fluffed up. He even had the slitted eyes and quiet, throaty growl down.

"Edward, get off your brother's head," Roy ordered. "The doctor's here for me, not you, and your fear of needles is getting a little out of hand."

"One; I'm on his shoulders, not his head. And two; I'm not scared of needles! I told you, I'm up here for fun."

"Get down."

"Whatever," Edward grumbled, jumping down with a loud _fwump._

"If you like, I could give you a check-up too," Dawson volunteered.

"NO THANKS," Edward replied, slipping neatly behind Alphonse and looking (in his opinion anyway) not the least bit suspicious.

Roy gave a snort of laughter, which he quickly, and quite ineffectively, disguised as a cough.

"No offense intended, sir," Dawson began, placing his equipment back in his case "But it's weird that you should have two sons when you're so young."

"Oh, yeah, that's what I was trying to tell you. I'm not his son, I sorta accidentally said that." Edward rubbed the back of his head, a large droplet of perspiration forming there. A physical anomaly more commonly known as 'sweat-dropping'.

"Oh! So that's why… I always pondered over why your appearances were so vastly different. You don't look anything alike, apart from a certain look in your eyes… And your ages; Edward would have to have been born when you were just fifteen," Dawson told them. "Not to mention the other brother. You would have been even younger."

"Actually," Alphonse broke in. "I'm the younger brother."

"Wow, really? I could have sworn you were older than Edward…"

Edward let out a quiet moan and curled up on the floor, almost sobbing in exasperation. "Why…? Why does everyone think that…? _Why…?!"_

Roy shrugged. "Oh, I dunno, Ed. Maybe it's because your brother is so much more mentally mature than you are. And he's taller."

"I'M NOT SHORT!"

Meanwhile, Alphonse glanced about the room, perplexed as to what he was missing out on and wondering just what his purpose in this story even was, besides for being a large metal object for the main character to climb on and hide behind, and just when in this Chapter he would get some dialogue that wasn't just the setup for an utterly pointless punch line.

Poor Alphonse.

I'm sorry, even I don't know why he's here. He's a lost soul…literally.

Okay, I lied. He does have a reason. Now that's enough; I don't think there's any fourth wall left for me to break.

Dawson snapped his case shut and picked it up. The brothers Elric walked with him down to the door to see him off.

"But, you two do act like I'd expect to see from a father and son. If you looked a little more alike, I wouldn't hesitate in thinking you were," the young doctor said on the way.

Edward blinked, then pictured the Colonel with blonde hair. He didn't like it, so he switched to picturing himself with black hair. He thought he fit the profile of tall, dark stranger. He fit it very nicely.

Alphonse remained befuddled.

"Alright, well, I'll be going then," Dawson announced. "Tell him to get well soon. A word of advice; tell him to try avoiding stressful situations for a while. That's probably the cause of his sickness. Over-working. And don't forget about that medicine I left earlier. But he'll only need one a day now."

Edward nodded. "Got it."

"Oh, and no charge this time," Dawson said with his usual small smile. "Take it as a special discount for my dad and the Colonel being old army buddies."

"Thank you." Alphonse bowed.

"Yeah, thanks a heap," Edward agreed.

Dawson nodded. "You're welcome. Oh, I'll be back in a couple of days' time to see if he's fully recovered. So I guess I'll see you then."

And with that, he turned and strode off down the street, his coat billowing in a way that was very like Edward's.

"Did you notice he wasn't stuttering?"

Edward jumped. "Roy? How long have you been—Weren't you—With the… Ah, to hell with it."

"Seriously though, he was a lot more confident today," Roy pointed out.

"Maybe it was what you said yesterday," Edward suggested, shrugging.

Alphonse piped up. "So, what was that all about?"

"Another random spell of stupidity that your brother unleashed the other day," Roy answered.

"I'm not stupid!" Edward protested. "You're just _old!"_

"If I'm an old man, then you're tall. Pfft, no. You're so short you'd need a ladder to pick up a single cen."

"OH, YEAH?! Well I'll bet you're so old that when you leave a museum they yell, 'One of our exhibits is running away'!"

"Hm. So, a fight is it? Well, I hope you won't resort to physical attacks, I'm not wearing any shoes, see? You might do some serious damage to my ankles."

"AGH! You're so old your _mom _is probably younger than you!"

"That's both a physical and temporal impossibility, Edward. It's like how you have to reach _up_ to do the Velcro on your elevator boots."

"You're so old that when you went to school_ THERE WAS NO HISTORY CLASS!"_

"Well you're so short that when it rains, you carry a sign that says 'Don't shake your umbrellas off here; I sink in deep water!'"

"At least I'm not _totally useless _in the freaking rain, bastard! You're so goddamn old that your birth certificate is probably _expired!"_

"Let's just get in out of the cold," Roy said, turning and heading towards the stairs. "Don't want you getting sick now; if you sneeze you might hit your head on the floor."

There was silence for a couple of seconds as Roy, quite uncharacteristically, poked out his tongue and dashed up the stairs to safety with a cheeky salute. It took a moment for the full effect of his words to sink into Edward's brain.

Somewhere in Amestris, a light bulb clicked on.

"WHY YOU-!" the Fullmetal Alchemist started, shaking his fist in pure rage.

Alphonse shook his head/helmet again in exasperation. "Big brother…"

He reached out and grabbed Edward's collar, halting his spectacularly-furious-flying-rage-tackle-leap-atta ck-charge-with-angry-roar at the staircase. "What _were _you talking about?"

"Oh, yeah." Edward stopped struggling and turned to face his brother, who turned and closed the door and together they walked down the hallway to the kitchen.

"That Dawson guy's dad used to be friends with the Colonel Bastard."

"Used to?"

"Yeah. He died…"

"Oh."

"He was 'round here the other day and he mistook Roy for my father somehow…"

"Meaning?"

"I accidentally said I was his son over the phone," Edward admitted quickly. "Anyway, he was all like 'Oh no! My dad died and I never told him how much I loved him and now I don't know if he was proud of me!' and stuff. Then Roy made him feel better. I don't really know what happened; I kinda fell asleep."

"That doesn't surprise me," Alphonse replied.

"So, did you do anything interest—" Edward broke off, a sharp, stabbing pain in his stomach cutting his sentence short. He doubled over, moaning. "Owowow…"

"Big brother?! What is it?! Are you hurt?!"

"It hurts… Ah, ouch…! Damn…"

"Brother! What's wrong?!"

"Al…What's the time?"

"Hunh? A-about three, why?"

"I missed breakfast _and _lunch…" Edward mumbled. "I'm really, really hungry."

Alphonse slapped his forehead, just below the spike, resulting in a rather loud _clang._ "You…you just… Just…"

He gave up, sighing.

Edward sank to the floor, grabbing pathetically for Alphonse's ankle. "Please…Alphonse…my beloved brother…_save me…_please… Before I waste away into a half remembered nothingness floating on a breeze blowing through a desert where no-one ever will hear my wailing cries of loneliness and desperation…"

"You're awfully poetic when you're hungry, you know that, brother?" Alphonse said. "It's almost pathetic."

"…before I become nothing but dust on a moth's wing, blowing away from a low-burning gas lamp to mingle with the smoke blown from the pipe of a hobo with no name and no family to remember him…"

"Something so small?"

"…I'll be a lowly grain of sand on a never-ending beach of an undiscovered island where no-one has ever set foot…"

"Fine, fine. I'll see what I can do." Alphonse sighed, with an especially odd 'sweat-drop'. It was odd because, of course, he had no pores to sweat from.

How was he still able to perform this strange feat?

Would Edward really become hobo smoke?

Will Roy ever recover?

Who will rock up at the Colonel's place next?!

_WILL I EVER GET THE TIME TO TYPE SO THAT I CAN UPLOAD IT ALL?!_

Keep reading to find out…maybe…

**Chapter must-be-thirty-one-then; Hungry, Hungry Alchemists (Also, the return of Edana)**

Roy sat on the bed, thinking. _I don't…I don't feel sick anymore._

He slumped back on it, grimacing. _But I am so _hungry!

His stomach growled, prompting him to jump to his feet and trudge down the stairs to the kitchen. The smell of food wafting from the kitchen was enough to make his mouth water. _Hm. So Alphonse _can _cook._

Roy pushed open the door and walked in, noting how strange it felt to have other people in his house, cooking food in his kitchen. The only people Roy would ever really have around were Riza, and occasionally other subordinates who'd either gotten themselves drunk and forgotten where they lived or come to drop off his 'homework'. Oh, yes, and…Maes… Well, not anymore.

Edward was slumped on the table, chewing feverishly on a fork, a thin trail of drool dripping from his lips.

"Vood…food…mvood…" he mumbled, glancing at Roy as he walked past.

"What are you making?" the Colonel asked, peering around Alphonse's large body at the worktop.

"Stew," Alphonse replied. "I've seen mom and Granny Pinako make it a hundred times, so it shouldn't be too hard."

"Hm." Roy looked into the pot Alphonse was standing over. "It looks pretty good."

"Right."

"HURRY UP FINISH STEW WANNA HAVE FOOD WILL EAT FORK SOON _PLEASE!" _Edward wailed, spitting the fork out and slamming his forehead into the table. Four days of irregular meals and hard research had washed him out and the boy was in desperate need of a decent meal.

Due to his inefficiency in the kitchen, his past few meals had consisted of toast, sandwiches and the occasional piece of fruit.

Roy had barely eaten in the past week either, both from sickness, a mountain-load of work, and his top-secret, covert operation; trying to find Maes Hughes' killer, and what it was he'd found that had resulted in his murder.

It was really all quite stressful.

And now Roy's hands were shaking with hunger and he was beginning to feel like one of those starving Ishbalan kids back in the rebellion.

"I take it you've got your appetite back, then?" Alphonse asked.

"What gave me away?" Roy answered his question with a question.

"Well," Alphonse pointed at the stew. "You're staring at this like big brother stares down a new alchemy reference book. Or like a rabid dog stares down a cat."

As if on cue, the cat Roy had seen on his chair last night came strutting into the kitchen, tail held high.

"Oh! I hope you don't mind, but Edana's been staying here with me," Alphonse explained. He pointed at Roy. "That's Roy, Edana. Say hello."

The kitten meowed in greeting.

"Smart cat," Roy remarked. "I don't mind, so long as she doesn't do her business on the carpet…or on the chairs…or the beds…or anywhere else, really."

"Oh, don't worry. I let her out in the morning."

"FOOOOD!" Edward howled.

"Be patient, brother!" Alphonse exclaimed, apparently annoyed. "It's almost done!"

And, half an hour later, it was.

"I know I'm not religious," Edward started as Alphonse set a plate down before him. "But… ALLELUIAH!"

And with that, he dug right in, not even stopping to breathe. Roy followed suit, albeit more slowly, and more dignified.

But only slightly so.

Alphonse sat down too, meaning that oddly enough, _three _out of Roy's four chairs had been filled, asking, "How is it? I couldn't taste it to see if it needed more salt or anything…"

Roy nodded. "It's great. The best food I've had in a while…" he frowned. "Actually, it's probably the only food I've had in a while, taking into consideration that whatever they serve in the Mess Hall is probably alien goo or something…"

Alphonse laughed. "I only wish I could try it, though…" He sighed wistfully.

A pang of guilt zapped through Roy's chest. _That's right… Alphonse can't eat._

Edward glanced up, stuffing a large piece of carrot in his mouth. "Do' wo'ee, A'! Oo ka' eye so' soo' e'uff, un see e or bo'y ba'!"

"Brother, don't talk with your mouth full. Manners," Alphonse scolded. "Also I can't understand a word you're saying."

Edward rolled his eyes. "O'ee."

"Saying sorry with your mouth full doesn't exactly help."

Edward swallowed. "What I said was; 'Don't worry, Al! You can have some soon enough, once we get your body back!'"

Alphonse nodded. "Don't forget your arm and leg too."

"Yup. Those too," Edward replied, finishing up his stew. "More please!"

Roy handed up his dish too. "Me as well, thanks."

"It's really good?" squeaked Alphonse. "You're making me embarrassed…"

"Don't be," Roy assured him. "It's a great talent to be able to create good things."

_Instead of only being able to destroy, _a voice murmured darkly deep inside of Roy's heart.

He ignored it, like always.

That was the voice he'd gained in the war, the voice that fed him dark, horrifying thoughts and reminded him of all the ways he was able, and had used, to kill.

It was this voice that compelled him to always have a pair of ignition gloves handy (even now, there was a pair in his pocket).

This voice that spoke in his nightmares, and had used Edward's body just days before.

This voice that roared and laughed with glee every time he snapped his fingers and killed with a spark.

This voice that Roy told to shut the hell up.

Just over half an hour later, the two State Alchemists were interrupted from their fourth helping by a rather unexpected noise.

_Diin-dong!_

"Huh?" Roy looked towards the hallway. "Who could that be?"

He stood and went to the door, a little confused. Upon opening it, he was greeted with a perhaps-pleasant-but-then-again-could-be-troubleso me-surprise…

**Sorry for making you wait so long. Whoo, cliffie, eh? I swear I did not plan that. I'm as confused as you are. Please do not hesitate to point out my mistakes in a review, because this whole story is typed in a rush to get it uploaded. Anyone else notice Roy thinks a lot more than the other two characters here? GODSPEED TO MY HANDS! PLEASE REVIEW, YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE!**


	12. Chapter 12

**DR. OCTOGONAPUS! (Fires giant laser.)**

**Chapter thirty-flipping-two; The Unexpected Visitor**

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye-pleasant.

Accompanied by;

Paperwork-troublesome.

If it was possible, Roy's face would have brightened and fell at the same time. But it wasn't, so he ended up looking confused.

Edward and Alphonse boggled down the corridor at her (well, mostly just Edward).

"Good evening, sir," Riza said. She looked behind Roy at the Elrics, nodding in greeting. "Edward, Alphonse."

Edward waved lazily, blinking. "Uh, hi."

\Alphonse bowed politely. "G-good evening, Lieutenant."

Roy blinked as well, baffled. He had not been expecting this. "Uh, good evening? Did… Did you want something, Lieutenant?"

"Well, my shift is over, so I thought I'd drop by and drop off some of your paperwork," Riza explained. "The office is in chaos without you. I've filed about twenty replies to officers all over the place explaining why you haven't been doing your job. And what is that bruise on your chin?"

"It's nothing." Roy said, smiling and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly and wishing he looked a little less dishevelled. "Sorry about the office…"

Riza pointed at the waist high stack of papers beside her. "Several plans need your okay to go ahead and so I've brought the most important sheets with me."

"Most important…? Lieutenant, you've brought the whole office with you."

Riza raised an incredulous eyebrow, as if to say 'really?' "You think _this _is a lot of paperwork? Come in and _see _your office, sir. Havoc swears he saw a stack that reaches the whole way to the ceiling. He told me to tell you that he offers no pity and that it was karma getting back at you for ruining his love life."

Roy rubbed his forehead, sighing.

Edward walked up behind the two, hands in his pockets.

Roy's face brightened and he started smiling air-headedly. "Well, I'm under strict orders from the doctor to avoid stressful situations."

"He said 'try to'," Edward corrected, smiling gleefully at the chance to dob in on his superior officer. "And he also said it was advice. Not exactly what I'd call a strict order."

Roy scowled down at him. "Yes. Thanks for reminding me."

He placed a firm hand on Edward's head and patted it roughly, causing the small teenager to duck with each blow. "You've been such a help. Really. I _appreciate it."_

He growled the last few words and finished by ruffling Edward's hair so it stuck out at all angles.

"Oh, yes," Riza continued. "You've also had a request to go down to Allemore for a course. They've brought in a whole new method on trialling cadet soldiers and they want you down there to see how they do it."

Roy cringed. He _hated _courses. "Really? _Allemore_ of all places? There's basically _nothing _out there! Even less than there is in Resembool!"

A dark aura filled the air around the three, sending shivers down Roy's spine.

"Well, _excu-u-se _me for being a country hick from a place no-one's heard of, full of nothing but cows and dirt, where everyone talks in _stupidly nasal voices_ and enjoy nothing more than _mucking out stables _and _spitting into vases! _Because we all _love_ that out in Resembool, where there's absolutely _nothing _else to do and we're all dumb-assed bumpkins who live in a time period _fifty years before everyone else!" _Edward growled, an ominously sinister look invading his narrowed eyes.

"N-no one said that…!" Roy exclaimed, taking a subtle step away from the fuming and apparently rather patriotic alchemist seething at his side. He turned back to Riza. "But seriously, _another _course?"

Riza almost looked like she pitied him.

'Almost' being the key word in that sentence.

She was merciless. "Please finish this stack quickly and return to work as soon as possible, sir."

"I'll take that as 'get well soon'."

Edward smirked and whispered to Roy, "Ooh, burn!"

Riza turned to leave.

Edward elbowed Roy in the ribs.

"What?" the Colonel hissed.

"Stop staring at her like a rabbit in the headlights and invite her in!" the Fullmetal Alchemist whispered back. "Go on!"

"Lieutenant!" Roy called out, kicking himself mentally. _You're gonna regret this!_

"Yes, sir?"

"D…do you want to come in for a cup of tea or something? There's…there's stew here, and uh…"

Edward smirked again. "He shoots…"

"…and, uh, it's like…it's cold out, and…yeah…"

Riza turned and made her way back up the steps, waving away the taxi she'd taken. "I don't see why not."

Edward ducked behind Roy's back, pumping his fist and grinning. "…he scores…!"

Roy trailed off, then reached behind his back and flicked Edward in the ear. "She's just a friend. And a subordinate. I don't feel for her in _that_ way."

Edward broke into a devilish grin, submitting to the urge tugging at his teenage heart. "Roy and Riza, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"

Roy reached into his back pocket and revealed his ignition gloves. "I'm warning you Edward… Take that back."

Riza walked in and Edward flinched then raced down the hall, squeaking, "I take it back! G-N-I-S-S-I-K!"

Roy grabbed the stack of papers and made his way down the hall after them.

Alphonse became a sort of human shield once more.

**Chapter thirty-flipping-two part two!; There is no Meaning Behind the 'Part Two' bit…**

"Were you cooking, sir?" Riza asked, inspecting the pot of stew.

"No," Roy replied, dumping the stack of papers on the kitchen counter. "Alphonse was."

"I see."

"Here; let me take your jacket," Roy offered, holding out hand for Riza's military jacket.

"Thank you." Riza removed her jacket, revealing the maroon tank top she wore underneath.

Roy stared at her back, remembering acutely what lay beneath that shirt. Memories came flooding back to him and that dark little voice piped up.

_You burned her, Roy. You burned many people. You killed them. You could have killed her, too. You could do it now, if you wanted to. In fact, you could kill them _all, _just reach into your back pocket. That's all you'd have to do, if you wanted to kill them._

And Roy was scared.

For one brief second, he looked around the scene, his eyes wide and his heart gripped with ice-cold fear.

Edward; slapping his bashfully blushing (HOW?) brother on the shoulder, grinning, as the boy reluctantly served his cooking to Riza.

Alphonse; looking down self-consciously as he placed the dish before her and glancing up with nervous glowing eyes.

Riza; her pretty face placid as ever, but with warmth shining behind her hazel-amber eyes.

They couldn't die, not yet. They didn't deserve to, that was all there was to it. It wasn't how the world, their fate and everything else should play out.

But, if he wanted to, Roy could change all of that at the snap of his fingers. Literally.

Fear bubbled inside of Roy's chest. Fear that one day, that dark voice would become his own and that someone would die.

He shook his head, then took Riza's jacket and went down the hall to hang it up on the coat-rack.

Roy closed his eyes, feeling sick and ignoring the voice again. _Just reach into your pocket… Can you feel that power? That is _your _power. You can use it, only you. You _should _use it. Just reach into your back pocket…_

And Roy did.

He pulled out his ignition gloves, fingering the material and the design stitched onto the back. That circle, that _infernal _circle, stared straight back at him.

Roy had seen that circle _so many times,_ it was as familiar as his own face.

He twisted them around his fingers, rubbing the fabric, his face laced with anxious contemplation.

_Go on! Use them!_

Then he threw them, as hard as he could, and they hit the wall to fall down and land on his sideboard.

_Yes, _he thought, trembling, as the dark voice screeched in fury that it had been thwarted once again. _I'll definitely be the last Flame Alchemist._

For a minute, he allowed himself to consider the consequences if he really did lose control of his power.

_My mind… I wouldn't be able to think for myself. I wouldn't exist… My flames would speak for me. Imagine how many people I could kill._

Another thought struck him. _Oh, s***. Riza would have to shoot me._

He leant forward against the coat-rack with his hands on either side of it, so his sweaty forehead came into contact with the thick material of Riza's jacket.

It smelled sweet and familiar.

Like when you go to bed after a long, busy day, and you lie down in bed and take a deep breath, and everything smells like you. Then you feel all relaxed and you smile, and forget all the trouble and stress.

Roy did that now, and realised that Riza's scent had quite a similar effect on him.

"Roy?" Edward's quizzical face poked out around the kitchen doorframe. "You okay out there?"

Roy looked up, a droplet of sweat trickling down the side of his face. One of his thoughts must have shown on the outside as Edward came bounding down the hall towards him.

"What's up?"

"Nothing, really," Roy responded flatly. "Just thought of a memory I'm not particularly fond of."

It was sort of the truth.

Edward seemed to accept that he had it under control and dashed back down the hallway, beckoning with his auto-mail arm as he went. "Well, come back in when you can, then."

Roy stood up straight and took a deep, life-restoring breath, wiping the cold sweat from his brow.

The end of Edward's braid disappeared into the kitchen and he followed, smoothing out his ruffled hair as he did so.

This did little to help his hair's messy appearance; it was just a thing that Roy did.

Riza was tasting some of Alphonse's stew, and from what he could surmise, enjoying it. The Colonel went over and took as seat, directly opposite Edward. Alphonse hovered by the table, anxious as to whether the young Lieutenant liked his cooking or not.

"That was good," she remarked, carrying her dishes over to the sink to wash them. "A lot better than takeaway, or in the Mess. Homemade is always better, and you've made it well."

Alphonse brightened. "Th-thank you!"

Edward elbowed his brother in what would perhaps have been the hip, being to short to reach his side. "See, Al? Told'ya she'd like it."

"I can't express my thanks to you for looking after the Colonel. I was caught up with work and so I couldn't come check on him like normal," Riza explained, sitting down. "As you've probably figured, he can be quite helpless at times."

Roy's jaw dropped in a dejected sort of way, like a puppy being denied praise from it's master. "H-helpless…? You're so cruel…"

Riza rolled her eyes, then spoke again. "Fine, sir. Not _helpless, _maybe a little more along the lines of _childish."_

Roy frowned. "I prefer the term _high maintenance._ But am I really? Am I really helpless?"

"On occasion, yes," Riza deadpanned. "There are times when I really, honestly doubt how mature you truly are."

Alphonse looked at the floor. "Well, you are pretty serious most of the time, and when you mean business, you get things done, and I do get the feeling that your air-headedness is just a cover…but sometimes I wonder."

Edward just snickered in the background.

Roy scowled, placing his chin on his palm. "What great friends I have."

"I'm not your friend. I'm only here to laugh at you," said Edward, still grinning.

"And I'm your subordinate right now. I'm telling you what you need to know, not as a friend." Riza sat down, her eyes closed in a matter-of-fact way.

Roy looked to Alphonse. "And you? You're just going to tell me that you agree with them and all I really am to you is your brother's commander?"

Alphonse, despite his body, looked flustered. "Well…"

"Ah!" Roy exclaimed, closing his eyes and folding his arms. "You guys suck. And I can look out for myself, y'know."

"No, you can't," all three of Roy's visitors replied.

"You can fight and do well in your career, I'll give you that," Riza sighed. "But there are some aspects of your life in which you fail completely."

"Such as?"

Riza raised an eyebrow. "Do you really want me to answer that, sir?"

"Yes."

Riza took a deep breath (which was quite concerning for the poor Colonel) and began. "You're as useful as a damp stick of dynamite in the rain, you can't properly fill out paperwork to save your life, you can cook a total of three meals, one of which consists solely of toast, you can't tune radios or clocks, you fall over yourself when you're sick, you never remember what you need to buy in the groceries…"

Edward looked close to tears of silent laughter at this point, and Roy was simply close to tears.

"…you can't polish shoes without getting yourself painted black…"

Roy sighed and placed his chin on the table, his expression one of sheer depression.

"…and you refuse to go into the same room as inhabited by any form of arachnid or other insect," Riza finished. "I could go on, but I won't for the sake of your dignity."

There was a dull thump as Edward fell off his chair and became a shivering pile of hysteria rolling about the floor, clutching his sides.

When he'd finally gathered enough composure to breathe, he pulled himself up with the side of the table, wheezing, "Colonel…Bastard's…scared of bugs!"

He collapsed again a second later, gripped by another bout of laughter.

"I am not!" Roy protested. "They are just horrible, _icky _little things which require the supreme skill of Lieutenant Hawkeye's bug-squishing powers to be eradicated." He shuddered. "_Icky!"_

"Mrowowor…" Edana, who had been forgotten about up 'til this point, bounded forward with her yellow fur bristling. "Rrr…"

She clawed at Riza's boots, hissing.

"Edana! Don't!" Alphonse squeaked, starting forward. Edward hauled himself off the floor and back onto his seat, wiping tears from his eyes.

"It must be the scent of dog," Riza guessed, holding out a finger for the cat to sniff. "She can probably smell Black Hayate on me."

Edana sniffed at Riza's fingers, her fluffed out fur beginning to settle. Eventually, Edana seemed to accept the Lieutenant as friendly and rubbed against her outstretched hand, purring.

"There." Riza straightened and Edana padded across the kitchen to Alphonse, twining herself playfully about her decided owner's legs. "Meeeowowow!"

"Do you have any tuna, sir?" Alphonse asked.

"I could have sworn I told you to drop the 'sir' when I'm at home," Roy reminded the boy. "And yeah, I think there's some in the top shelf over there."

Alphonse thanked him and proceeded to feed the small cat.

"When did you come around here, Alphonse?" Riza asked, watching the boy/suit of armour bend over to feed Edana.

"Uh, yesterday," Alphonse replied. "Big brother called me over to show me some stuff."

"Okay." Riza looked to Roy, as if asking him what said 'stuff' was.

Roy understood this look, and indeed knew the answer, but simply shrugged as if he had no clue and whispered, "I'm helpless, remember?"

"Ha ha, sir," Riza whispered back.

"So, you've finished work for today, Lieutenant?" Edward asked, spooning up another mouthful of stew.

"Yes. It's been quite busy lately, because there's been a lot going on out west, and with certain…_happenings_…within the military…"

Roy looked away and Edward's demeanour darkened slightly.

"…it's quite hectic; everyone's wondering who, why and whatnot, and if it's going to happen again."

Roy took a subtle deep breath, pushing all thoughts of Maes to the back of his head and ignoring the quiet re-emergence of the dark voice, which was now whispering to him all the things he could do to his best friend's killer if he wished it so.

_I'm above revenge, _he thought. _Maes wouldn't want it._

"What about Breda? And Fuery? Are they both back?" Roy asked, trying to distract himself from these dark thoughts.

"Why, were they gone?" Edward asked, finishing off the remainder of his meal.

"They were both on sick leave," Riza responded. "For the same reason as you sir. But yes, they are both back and fit for duty."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Well, tell them I blame them for this. And give them extra paperwork."

"I can't actually do that, sir. Paperwork is assigned to specific officers. I can't choose who gets what or how much and you know it."

Roy scowled. "Blah. I'll get 'em somehow."

"It wasn't exactly _their _fault you got sick, y'know," Edward pointed out. "It's not like it's a choice or anything."

Roy fell silent, feeling that somehow, he was somehow on the losing side of every argument in the room, and that everyone wanted to turn what he said against him.

The conversation continued, moving on to diseases, then hospitals, then (to Edward's dismay) 'Fullmetal's impressive display of hysterical terror' upon hearing of the military's plans for compulsory vaccinations, then to the earlier events of the day when Edward had been standing atop his brother, and finally carried on to the possibility that the boy could probably ride Alphonse if he wanted to, during which the armoured soul interjected that he _would not _carry Edward around simply because the boy was too lazy to walk, and was offended that people thought it okay to use him as a prop.

Somewhere along the way, the formality of the situation had drastically fallen, and military titles had been dropped. Alphonse had even started using Roy's and Riza's names.

**Chapter the-I-forgot-joke-is-getting-quite-old-but-it-stil l-applies-to-this-chapter-which-I-just-checked-is- Thirty-Three-hence-defeating-the-entire-purpose-of -this-joke-and-I'm-now-just-hoping-you'll-all-laug h-at-it's-pointlessness; Mon suer Le Meow and the Military's Dalmatian**

"…and now you know why trying to use alchemy on grapes to create wine is a bad idea,"  
Roy finished, and Edward erupted into a bout of uproarious laughter.

Alphonse laughed too, and even Riza gave a slight chuckle.

"Y'know…that reminds me of that one time… Do you remember, brother? When you…with the beetles…and then Winry…?" Alphonse broke off, giggling uncontrollably.

"That," Edward replied. "Was so _not _funny."

"What was it?" Roy asked, watching Edward groan.

Alphonse took over. "Well, what we did was…"

* * *

"…and that's why, even to this day, brother won't go _near _Winry with a bug," Alphonse explained, laughing. "She can be quite scary when she wants to…_that face…"_

"Really, Edward?" Riza asked, also giggling. "Did you not know that girls can be even tougher than boys if the situation calls for it?"

Edward flushed, both out of embarrassment and fury. "Not until I met Teacher, no. But I can't believe you told them that, Al!"

"Would you rather I told them about how much you love the rain?"

"NO WAY! NOT THAT ONE! THAT'S WAY TOO FAR, AL, WAY TOO FAR!" Edward paused, a devious smirk forming on his lips.

Alphonse did not think that was a good sign.

"Well, what about that time when you took a _trip _down by the river?" Edward said, elbowing his brother with a muffled _clong._

"Big brother, you wouldn't!"

"Oh, but I _would!"_

"Okay! Okay! I won't tell if you won't!" Alphonse squeaked.

"Deal," Edward agreed.

Roy smiled, having remembered something rather amusing. "Riza, do you remember that time when I got promoted and…?"

"I remember it quite clearly," she replied. "Wasn't that the time when you went down to the bar with your friends to celebrate, and in the end you were all so drunk you couldn't remember why you were partying in the first place?"

"Basically, yes. It was a really funny thing, actually…" Roy started. "Hold on a second."

He dashed from the room and into the study, grabbing a pile of photos from the desk. He went back.

"You've probably already looked through these, Edward," he said. "Bu this one here, see, that's me there…Vato in the corner…Maes over here…"

Roy didn't hesitate when pointing out where in the photo Maes was.

Riza seemed to pick up on this and she glanced up too look at him. He didn't notice her lingering gaze, too busy explaining to the Elric brothers what exactly Jean Havoc was wearing on his head, and for what idiotic reason.

_It looks like all this time, _Riza thought. _He's been thinking only of his best friend's death…_

Edward burst out laughing when Roy explained that the reason Maes Hughes was holding a _magnifying glass _to the newly appointed colonel's _ear _was because he was checking to see if there was anything on his mind.

"Because Jean said I had nothing on my mind apart from promotions and girls," said Roy. "If memory serves correctly."

_…and forgetting all the good times they had._

Edward pointed at another photo. "What about this?"

Said photo was of Maes sitting on top of Roy, smothering with him with what appeared to be a massive phonebook, blushing and raving about some unknown subject.

"Photos of his wife," Roy explained, smirking. "I believe he wanted me to admit he was the most beautiful woman in the world, and that he had beaten me to her."

"And this?"

Roy frowned. In this photo, Jean had grabbed Maes' glasses and put them on, and was trying to light a smoke with the help of Roy's ignition gloves, all the while attempting to down a bottle of alcohol.

"That," Roy decided. "Is just Jean."

"This one?"

Roy had his ignition gloves on his ears and Maes was in the background holding a couple of darts. Jean was waving his jacket about over his head and pouring a drink over what appeared to be a dancing Vato Falman.

"I have no idea," Roy said bluntly. "Although there is one part I remember quite clearly; I had passed out on top of Maes, and Jean was poking me in the face 'til I woke up. I went, 'What the hell?', and he just ran off hooting like a madman and shouting 'IT LIVES!'"

Edward laughed. "He drew on your face, man!"

"I drew on Maes'."

They looked through the rest of the photos, laughing at some of the ludicrous things captured on camera, and eventually Alphonse asked, "So, where did you end up afterwards?"

Roy smirked. "Well, that's the funny part."

He looked at Riza.

"Whoa! Seriously?!" Edward exclaimed.

Riza nodded. "Four of them."

"Four?" Alphonse repeated.

Roy nodded. "Me, Maes, Jean and Vato. Breda got lost on the way and he showed up at work the next day asking how he woke up outside a convenience store on the other side of East City wearing my gloves and with a silver pocket watch, darts attached to his jacket. We never did find out."

Riza rolled her eyes. "Anyways, they turned up outside my door at three in the morning, Roy unconscious at this stage and being carried by Maes."

"Yup." Roy nodded again. "Black marker isn't easy to get off your face, by the way. Maes was stuck as Mon suer Le Meow for three days, and I was a real 'dog' of the military."

Edward and Alphonse just laughed.

"So you… Did you go to work like that?" Edward asked.

"Shamefully, yes."

More laughter.

Roy grinned, remembering how Maes, being Maes, had hissed an ran out of any room he'd been inhabiting as soon as Roy walked in, as if he really was a cat.

Well, a cat with glasses and a moustache.

_He was…a good friend. No, make that…_

Roy fingered a photo, just a random one, and all it showed was his and his best friend's back as the latter half-piggybacked, half-dragged the former to Riza's house.

_He was a great friend._

**Alright! That was fast, eh? I just wanna address one small issue:**

**To Mr. Guest (and anyone else who thought this), when I wrote that Edward said his auto-mail was sore, he (and I) was referring to his ****_port _****not the actual metal. Sorry, hope that clears things up…**

**Please review, I read them all and LOVE them! They really are the best! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, faved or followed! (POINT OUT ALL MY MISTAKES, EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. PLEASE.)**


	13. Chapter 13

**OH, GOD, I'M SO SORRY! IT'S TERRIBLE! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I-I… I…I wrote…wrote…romance. *Face-desks* Please bear with me here… This was totally unintentional, and you won't hafta read too much of my crappy romance-writing skills… Only a little. Sorry.**

**Chapter 34, hopefully; Bruises**

The laughter eventually died down.

"So, do you want to play something?" Roy asked, looking to Edward and Alphonse in particular. "For some reason, I feel like playing a board game."

Riza nodded. "That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea."

"'Course it isn't. _I _thought of it."

"Do you have chess?" Alphonse asked.

Roy nodded. "Somewhere in the upstairs storage room. Do you want to play that?"

"Argh!" exclaimed Edward. "You're just doing that to annoy me, aren't you? You know I hate chess!"

"That's 'cause you don't know how to play," Alphonse stated. "So you always lose."

"Oh, fine. If that's what you really want, Al," Edward huffed, conceding defeat.

Roy went upstairs to the storage room and stumbled into darkness, groping the air around the doorway for the string to make the light turn on.

It clicked on, revealing Mustang standing in the musty room, surrounded by stacks of books, boxes of goodness-knows-what, spare everythings and about an inch of dust.

He glanced around and spotted a box high atop a wooden shelf just across the room. With no-one to play against, the set had become forgotten about, shoved to the back of the room to collect dust.

Roy picked his way through stacks of boxes, books and piles of random junk. He grunted, stretching to reach the board and accompanying metal box of wooden play pieces.

He jumped, snatching at it, but to no avail. Spying a sturdy-looking box, he heaved it over and stood on top of it.

Still too short.

_Oh, come on, _he thought. _At least now I know how Ed feels. Pipsqueak._

He grabbed some books and placed them on top of the box, setting a tentative foot on it. It held firm.

Now, all you readers can probably figure out what's going to happen next. I mean, come on, if it wasn't gonna happen, I would have put Roy's chess set in a more reasonable place.

"Rrkh!" Roy raised himself up on tiptoe, his fingers brushing the side of the board. _Just a little more…_

His foot slipped backwards, sending a book flying away. Roy could have sworn there were about three seconds where he just floated mid-air, thinking, _Well, f***._

Then the spell was broken and he crashed forward, pulling the board down and bringing the metal case smashing onto his head. The board itself also decided it wanted to hit it's abusive owner on the head, dumping a truckload of dust onto his head as it did so.

"A-TYCHOO!" Roy stumbled backwards into a tall stack of boxes, wiping his streaming eyes.

He looked up and barely had time to sweat-drop before the whole thing came cascading down on top of him.

The ensuing _CRASH _was loud enough to be heard downstairs, drawing the Elric brothers' and the young Lieutenant's attention.

"I'll go see what he's done," Riza volunteered, pushing her chair back with a sigh. She made her way upstairs quickly, skidding to a halt before the door. Dust billowed out, obscuring her vision.

"Roy?"

"Kof, kof, kof!" Roy covered his nose and mouth with one hand and waved the chessboard in the air with the other. "I…I got it…!"

The dust settled, revealing the Colonel buried up to his chest in boxes and other random knick-knacks, grinning sheepishly. "Eheheh…"

Riza smiled exasperatedly, shaking her head. "How you managed to do all that in the space of two minutes, I'll probably never figure out."

"It's a skill," Roy said, pulling himself out from the landslide of junk. He tripped on the last second so that he landed on his rump before his Lieutenant.

"Oof," he grunted, placing the box and the board to the side and rubbing his head. "Ouch."

Riza crouched down before him, inspecting his thoroughly dust-coated clothes and the large bruises on his chin, forehead and elbow.

"You see?" she said. "I leave you alone for a few days, and you go and beat yourself up. Without even getting in any fights."

"Well, the one on my elbow is from when Ed tried to punch me in the head. Then I hit my chin on the bedside table, and then in the same place just then. And this new one," Roy pointed to the freshly forming mark on his forehead. "Is from when the chessboard and the box fell on my head. The pointy parts. It hurt."

Riza gave a sympathetic smirk. "Poor you."

Roy nodded childishly, scowling in that arrogant way of his. "Yup."

"Here." Riza leant forward and began to brush the dust from her superior officer's clothes. She moved up to his hair, tussling the grey powder from his sloe-black bangs.

Roy himself watched as Riza proceeded to clean his back, a faint red tint slipping onto his cheeks.

She went back around to his front. "Let me take a look at those bruises." She brushed her fingers lightly over the dark spot on the Colonel's chin. "Mm. That does look sore."

_She… She smells nice…_ Roy's chest constricted, leaving him unable to do anything but nod shallowly. _Oh, why? I have a well-earned reputation as East City's biggest womaniser, capable of sweet-talking any woman into submission. But as soon as she touches me… I can smell her…_

Riza moved up to his forehead and their eyes locked. Roy gulped, feeling his heart rate speed up. _Why her? Of all people? This is ridiculous! You're being stupid, Roy, real stupid!_

Riza smiled and Roy felt heat gather in his cheeks. _Stupid!_

"Hm." Riza's eyes narrowed. "Perhaps you're not fully over that fever. You look a little flushed."

"P-perhaps," Roy stammered. He shook his head. "I feel fine, though. Honest."

Riza stood up and took a couple of steps towards the stairs. "All the same, I think you should take it easy for just a little longer. And don't try any crazy stunts like that again."

"My sentiments exactly," Roy responded, crushing down the (stupid!) feelings wriggling in his chest, trying to get his unruly and unreasonable emotions under control.

Riza stood looking at him for a while. "Coming?"

Roy blinked, then clambered to his feet. "Yes. Right. Coming."

He grabbed the chess set and followed the sharp-eyed Lieutenant downstairs and into the kitchen.

"B-big brother?! Where did you—How—When was—Why didn't you tell me?!"

"It's no big deal! It's only a bump, Al, there's no need to get so worked up over it! This kinda thing happens all the time!"

The two went into the room and were confronted with a rather unusual scene.

Alphonse was clutching tightly onto his brother's flesh arm, looking from his hand to his face and back again.

Edward pulled against him, trying to slip free of the boy's solid grasp. "It doesn't even hurt, I swear!"

"You still should have told me! I could have put something on it and it wouldn't have gotten this bad!"

Roy walked over. "What's going on?"

Both boys answered at the same time.

"Al's overreacting!"

"Brother's hurt!"

Riza padded over, well aware of Edward's renowned history of hiding injuries to escape the threat of the hospital or rest. "Let me see."

"Here, look!" Alphonse pointed, his arm clacking with the movement. "On his hand!"

Roy, having already seen the messy, bruised state of Edward's knuckles, walked to the table and sat down on the wooden chair opposite.

"Relax! It's only a little bruise!" Edward exclaimed. "This sorta thing always happens! Even when I spar you, Al! If I punch as hard as I can, then my fist gets bruised! It's no big deal!"

"Those little marks are _nothing _compared to this! Brother, these are huge! If you're hurt, you should tell someone! Then they can help you, and you can get better faster!"

Edward turned his attention on his younger brother. "Yeah but, Al, what if they make me stay inside?"

"Then stay inside!"

"Grr! You don't understand what I'm saying here!"

"Then what are you saying, brother? It sounds like a tonne of nonsense to me!"

"If I have to stay inside, then we won't be making any progress on our journey!"

"You'd work a lot faster if you weren't hurt!"

"I'd rather be making slow progress than none at all!"

"Even if you're in pain?!"

"This doesn't even hurt, Al!" Edward pointed at his hand, which Riza still held firmly. "It's not important."

Alphonse stood up, his full height making him seem threatening. "Well, what _I'm _trying to say here is this; brother, if you get hurt real bad and don't tell anyone, you could die."

"You think I don't know that?" Edward muttered.

Alphonse continued as if he hadn't heard. "I think you forget because you're around me so much. I don't share my injuries with you because I don't _have_ any."

He gestured at his metal body, then at Edward's arm. "You do."

Edward looked up at him. "Why are you getting so worked up, Al? This doesn't even count as an injury."

Roy piped up. "It's an injury if it handicaps your fighting ability. You can't punch as hard with your right arm, therefore; handicap, and _therefore; _injury."

"That's stupid," Edward declared. "And besides, I've got another arm. And this one won't bruise so easily."

Alphonse turned his head to look out the window. "Brother, consider yourself lucky you still _have _parts of your body that can _get_ bruised."

Edward looked down, suddenly ashamed. "Sorry, Al. I didn't think it was anything to worry about," he said quietly.

Roy rested his chin on the table. "Good. So, while we're here, why don't you tell us all about the massive bruise on your back and side as well?"

Edward whipped around to stare at Roy, his face a mix of anger and shock. "How the hell did you find out about that?!"

Roy shrugged, his head still on the table. "I'm a soldier. I pick up on things."

Alphonse looked from the Colonel to his brother. "Is that true, brother?"

Edward muttered something incoherent.

"It is?!" Alphonse exclaimed. "For goodness' sake, brother!"

Edward sunk down into his chair, cringing. "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry."

"You did a good job of hiding it, if that makes any difference," Roy added.

"You're not helping," Edward stated bluntly.

Riza dropped Edward's arm. "The one on your hand's quite bad. How did you get it?"

Edward brought his hand close to his chest and muttered, "I was punching something. It's not important."

Riza seemed to accept that the only way she would be able to get any more information out of the boy was with a shotgun, and she really didn't want to have to take that course of action. She looked to Roy. "Do you have any ointment?"

"I'd have a lot more scars if I didn't keep some handy. The top cupboard over there."

Riza stood and went over, opening the cupboard.

Inside lay a large assortment of tubes and jars, as well bottles full of what appeared to be quite a considerable amount of headache remedy.

Riza looked back at Roy.

"I'm not addicted to it, if that's what you're thinking."

"Not at all," Riza replied dismissively. "I'm just wondering why you have so much medicine for injuries."

"I get hurt a lot," Roy answered. "And somewhat easily."

"So you're clumsy?" Edward grumbled moodily.

_"Accident prone," _Roy corrected. "And I see a lot more action than you'd think."

Riza sorted through the creams and bottles until she found a tub she deemed suitable. She walked back over to Edward and held out her arm expectantly. "Your hand."

Edward merely blinked. "What?"

"Your hand," Riza repeated. "Let me put some of this on it."

"O-okay, then…" Edward obliged and Alphonse watched from a short distance as the boy frowned in apparent confusion at Riza's sudden kindness.

Roy had a small bout of what he refused to admit was probably jealousy.

Riza then moved on to Edward's back and gestured at his top. "Off with it."

Edward cocked his head a little, now baffled, and grunted, pulling his singlet from beneath his belt. The Fullmetal Alchemist removed his shirt to reveal a large cluster of discoloured blotches and angry-looking swollen red skin.

They spread the whole way down his back and across his right side to mingle with the scars around the metallic arm attached to his shoulder. Almost every bruise was a sickly purple colour, or surrounded by a yellow tinge or red, inflamed skin.

It looked painful, but Roy didn't bother to ask. If he did, Edward would just pretend it didn't. So instead, the Colonel snuck around behind the boy when his back was turned to argue with his brother.

_Poke._

"YOUCH!" Edward cried, jumping and bringing his hands into a defensive position. He shifted slightly, and cringed. "That hurt, you stupid jerk."

"Well there you go. It _is _sore after all." Roy shrugged, standing up straight again.

"_Brother! _You lied _again!"_

"Edward, why did you not tell anyone about this?"

"I didn't want Al to be worried!"

"But brother, you'll only get hurt worse if you leave injuries untreated!"

"Yes. You should have told someone. At least have let Roy know."

"And what would he have done?! Dragged me off to the doctor's, pro'bly!"

Roy watched the goings on with his dark eyes, smirking slightly.

Edward saw this and narrowed his eyes, grabbing Riza's wrist and shoving her hand against Roy's cheek. "Slappy, slappy slap! She's slapping you, bastard! Like the little puppy you are!"

The Colonel jumped backwards, tripping over his own feet and scrambling away to busy himself with treating his own bruises.

Riza didn't give herself time to wonder what had just happened, as the sight of Roy stumbling red-faced through his own kitchen, flinging open a cupboard to have twenty-odd cans fall on his head was too humorous to ignore.

Bringing her attention back to the bickering Elric brothers, she pushed Edward back into his chair as he had risen to his feet in an attempt to gain some (a pitifully small amount of) height on Alphonse.

"Yeah, but what if they make me stay in the hospital when I'm perfectly fine?!"

"If you were fine, you wouldn't _be _in a hospital!"

Riza unscrewed the lid from the tub of ointment and dipped her fingers in, laying another soft, yet firm, hand on Edward's shoulder. "Stay still."

She smeared some of the stuff onto Edward's back, wincing as he flinched. "Sorry."

"It's cold," Edward mumbled.

Riza let out a huff of laughter, massaging the cream onto the bruises spanning Edward's body. She was surprised how well he coped with the pain, even though she knew she shouldn't be. Just consider what he'd already been through;

Losing limbs.

Auto-mail surgery.

Countless fights and beatings.

Hadn't he even been shot once? Stabbed? _Had a building collapse on him?_

And what she knew was the hardest kind of pain to suffer through;

Losing family.

It hurt deep and it hurt _hard._

Riza did not dwell on these thoughts, instead moving on to dress the wounds on Edward's side the boy's eyes closed in a submissive sort of way and he hung his head. "Sorry. I just didn't want for people to fuss over me. I didn't want to worry anyone. I didn't want to have to stop and rest. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Alphonse nodded his agreement. "And so you should be. What would happen if you were hurt and then got into another fight? You could lose, and then end up being seriously injured, or worse…"

Riza stood back, putting away the ointment. "Put it this way; if that were to happen, and you _did _get beaten and couldn't go on, who would look after your brother? You can't go forgetting your promise."

Edward looked her in the eye, his face a picture of determination and resolve. "If someone knocks me down, I'll get back up!"

"Not if you're dead." Roy placed a hand on Edward's head, flattening the spike of hair in the middle of the boy's forehead.

"I just won't die then! As if anyone could kill me anyway."

Roy rubbed his forehead with his free hand. "That's just the kind of cockiness that'll _get_ you killed."

Edward scowled.

"Anyway, let's forget this morbid conversation," Roy suggested. "It hit me in the head a couple of times, but I found the chess set."

Riza leant over and grabbed the other tub from Roy's hand. "You missed one," she stated, smearing it on his elbow.

It took him about three seconds to realise what she was doing before he almost started hyper-ventilating and passing out on the kitchen floor.

"That's okay!" he almost shouted. "I-I'll do it myself!"

Edward and Alphonse exchanged a glance, both wondering what exactly had just transpired.

Riza shrugged. "Suit yourself."

**Chapter…crap.; Let the first ever Roy's House Games begin, and may the Odds be ****_Ever _****in your favour!**

"Whaddaya mean that's a checkmate?!" Glare.

"Well, your king can't go anywhere without stepping into the kill zone of one of my pieces, brother." Matter-of-fact tone.

"What about there, huh?!" Victorious grin.

"That's the knight." Amused snort.

"WHAT?! No, it's not, my castle thingy's in the way!" Angry stare.

"It's called a _rook, _brother. And the knight can jump pieces." Stating the obvious.

"Huh?! Since when?! You're making that up!" Angry disbelieving look.

"It's always been that way, Edward. He's not making it up. You just have too much of a…short temper for chess." Smirk.

"WHO ARE YOU SAYING IS A MIDGET SO SHORT HE COULD LIVE IN THE CHESS CASTLE, BASTARD?!" Enraged expression.

"Rook, brother." With a hint of eye roll.

"Agh!" Edward sat back, closing his eyes and folding his arms resignedly. "I give up! I don't get this game!"

"There's no point giving up, brother. You've already lost," Alphonse pointed out. "And…I beat you again! Ha! You'll never beat me, ever! You're destined to lose to me at everything, forever!"

"What's this?" Roy leaned in close. "The almighty and all-powerful Elric 'boy-prodigy' alchemist's fantastic mind can't comprehend the complexities of a simple board game?"

"I SO CAN! Just…not this one," Edward grumbled.

"Just to put it out there, Roy," Riza said, making him jump at the use of his first name. "But chess _is _quite a difficult game to master. It took you quite a few years to master, if I recall correctly."

"I suppose." Roy shrugged. "But Ed's defeat was too spectacular to be only due to lack of experience. I mean seriously-" He pointed towards the board. "-what kind of a defence is that?"

"The best defence is a good offense!" Edward interjected.

"Which you _also _lacked," Roy stated bluntly.

Edward returned to his glowering, with Alphonse basking in the warm light of glory.

The younger Elric was exuding an aura of happy smugness, giving an occasional "I beat you again", or "You'll always lose to me, brother".

Riza moved some of the pieces around, starting with Edward's black ones. "One way you could have improved your strategy is like this…"

"What strategy?" Roy snorted. "Seemed to me like he was just randomly moving his pieces around until he could hit something and then getting taken."

"I had a strategy!" Edward broke in again. "I consisted of; beat Al!"

"Well that crashed and burned nicely, brother."

"Just…Just shut up!"

"Here, Edward. Look," Riza said. "If you had moved your knight here at this stage, you would have fared a lot better."

Roy frowned. "…"

"And if you'd kept these two closer together…"

"Wait." Roy pointed at the cluster of black pieces. "It might have been better if he'd put the king here, right next to the queen."

Riza nodded, but then placed the white bishop next to the aforementioned black pieces. "You're right, but what if Alphonse had placed this here? It would have destroyed that defence entirely."

"I'd have done this," Roy told her, moving his knight to take the bishop that Riza had neatly managed to manoeuvre into position at the heart of his defence, checking her king as he did so.

"Ah." Riza smiled. "But that's where you're wrong."

She took the knight with her rook, and then said simply. "Checkmate."

Roy raised his eyebrows. "Touché."

"She owned your butt, man," Edward commented.

Alphonse turned to Riza. "That's cool! Can you show me how?"

"Tch." Roy glared at Edward. "As if you could do any better."

Riza took to showing Alphonse just how she'd come about beating her superior.

"I say," Roy proposed, leaning in to whisper in Edward's ear. "That we join forces and crush 'em."

Edward nodded subtly. "Agreed. And if needs be, I can offer some…ahem, _unorthodox _assistance…"

"Sneaky," Roy responded.

"How'd you think I won all those card games against everyone in the office?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "I should have known."

"Heh heh! Make a killin' offa those idiots!" Edward smirked, the light angling off his eye in an evil yellow sparkle as he gave Roy a thumbs up.

"What are you two whispering about back there?" Riza asked, glancing towards the two and wondering where the giant cloud of purple clouds and squiggles bunched over their heads had come from.

"Oh! We were just—" Roy stopped, sweat-dropping and smiling awkwardly. "Edward, what were we doing?"

"We were wondering whether you'd like to play a card game," Edward suggested nonchalantly.

"Alright." Riza shrugged, pushing the board to one side. "Got cards, Roy?"

Roy cringed, remembering where exactly his cards were; buried beneath three feet of boxes, books and dust. "Oh…"

"Not to worry!" Edward exclaimed cheerily. "I've got some in my inner cloak pocket!"

He dashed from the room with an "I'll be right back!"

He returned moments later, wearing his recognisable red cloak and white gloves, and jumped into the chair next to Roy. He didn't look quite right as the small black undercoat he normally wore underneath was still upstairs. "Let's play teams!"

"Sounds good to me," Alphonse said. "So us two versus you two?"

"Sure," Edward and Roy responded simultaneously.

Riza's eyes narrowed. _Something's not quite right here. Those two hate each other… They'd never agree to work together so easily. They're planning something._

Meanwhile, Alphonse was thinking basically the same thing. _Since when was he so friendly with Roy? Hmm…that's brother's plotting face. This can't be good._

Edward produced a pack of cards from goodness knows where in that seemingly multi-purpose cloak. (When I say multi-purpose, I'm not lying. It makes his visuals awesome, makes him stand out more, he can find money in forgotten pockets, store card packets, store _cards_, and so much more. I want one.)

"So," Riza started, speaking quietly to Alphonse. "What are we up against?"

Alphonse leaned down a little. "Well, big brother is an experienced cheat. I learnt that the hard way. You'll need to keep your eyes on him. He's very sly, and has more than a few tricks up his sleeve, but everything shows on his face. We all know he can't hide his anger very well. What about Roy?"

"He doesn't really have all that much skill in this, but he has a relatively unreadable poker-face. Most of his tactics involve flirting with the girls he plays against, but that won't help him here. Other than that, he's pretty experienced at reading faces, and he has the luck of the draw," Riza analysed.

"Brother says luck is irrelevant and illogical."

"We'll see."

On the other side of the table, Edward and Roy were also plotting.

"To start off with, Riza is quite the player. And it'll be hard for either of us to play our tricks with her sharp eyes watching us," Roy said. "Also, she's got a _killer _poker-face."

"So has Al. And it's not just because of the helmet. Even when we played 'Old Maid' with Winry as kids, he was scarily well masked…" Edward shuddered, then scowled. "I always lost."

"So you're going to be an old maid?"

"I don't plan on getting married anyway!"

"Really? I'm sure that pretty mechanic of yours will be disappointed to hear that."

Edward blinked, then clenched his fist in an effort to contain his imminent rage. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that."

"Back to the matter at hand. Riza's a skilled player, but she's got bad luck with the cards she draws."

"Luck is stupid. It's illogical and contradicts the laws of probability."

"You've obviously never seen me play," Roy replied, smirking. "I swear, the cards love me."

Edward shrugged. "If you say so. Anyways, Al's sort of an amateur, but I'll suppose he's kinda _lucky. _He doesn't have a lot of skill, but he's unpredictable and it's hard to tell what he's gonna do next."

"Okay." Roy nodded to Edward, then turned to the opposition. "Let's get this going. I'll deal."

**Chapter 35; So That She Would Have to Come Back (P. S., Don't bother asking what game these guys are playing. I have honestly no clue.)**

Roy scrutinised the opposing team with narrowed charcoal eyes. He glanced sideways, and they met with their corresponding amber allies.

Edward gave a slight nod. _This is it, Roy, _his eyes said. _It's now or never._

Roy acknowledged this with a miniscule nod of his own. _Alright, Ed. If that's what you want._

On the other side of the table, Riza observed the silent exchange with sharp, amber-hazel eyes. _They're going for it!_

She glanced at Alphonse, whose glowing spots of sapphire soulfire were pointed down towards her indicating that he had seen it too. _Don't worry, _he said silently. _I've got a plan._

The game progressed, and Riza struggled to pinpoint whether Edward was slipping himself and Roy extra cards or not.

_He just slid his hand under the table…didn't he? Was he getting one there? When he scratched behind his head? What about when he flicked his wrist? _She frowned, smirking ever-so-slightly. _He _is _good._

Edward, on the other hand, was quite confident in the cards he held. Of course, half of them had come from his sleeves and gloves, and even one from behind his braid. But that didn't matter; anything went in a battle.

Even cheating.

He was also pretty sure that Riza hadn't managed to catch him red-handed yet, but Alphonse was starting to get that sort of _look _about him. The one he only had when he was planning, which told Edward there was definitely something up his little brother's non-existent sleeve.

Roy was growing worried due to the lack of expression of on the opposing team's faces. Riza's professional demeanour had taken over, and her face gave little, if not _nothing, _away.

And Alphonse… Well, his face literally was a mask.

Roy bit his lip, placing down another two cards. It was not that he wasn't confident in his hand; the cards Edward had given him were quite useful. It was just the stoic masks of the other team that were beginning to freak him out a little. _They're both…so calm._

Alphonse looked to Edward, who was watching him with golden eyes lit by intent. _He knows I've got something…but he doesn't know what it is._

Alphonse placed his next card on top of Roy's two, not lifting his eyes from his brother. Edward himself smiled devilishly and shrugged.

Riza paused halfway through her move, hand hovering over deck. Everyone stared at each other, waiting, wondering what would happen next, who would be the first to blow their strategy into the open, when the first slip up would be made, what would—

"Aaaah."

The spell was broken by Edward's loud tear-jerking yawn, which snapped the tension hanging thick in the air clean in two.

Three seconds of baffled silence ensued, followed by a chorus of laughter and Edward's frantic "What?!"s as he tried to figure out was so hilarious about a simple yawn.

"What?! I don't get it! Why are you laughing at me?! Stop laughing!"

"It's just that…" Roy started, wiping tears from his eyes. "…we were all concentrating so hard, and you just yawned so _loudly…!"_

Edward blinked, then realised the humour of the situation and joined in the laughter.

After a bit, Riza managed to catch her breath. "What… What time is it, anyway?"

Roy glanced around at the clock. "It's about six forty-five," he answered.

"I really should be going home!" Riza realised, standing up.

"No way!" Edward exclaimed, pouting. "You hafta finish! You can't leave now!"

"C'mon, Riza, please!" Alphonse pleaded. "Finish the game first! It won't take long!"

Edward and Alphonse grabbed Riza's wrists and both let out a loud, _"Ple-e-ease!"_

"Oh, fine," Riza sighed, smiling. "But not for much longer…"

And both Riza and Roy were reminded of how young the brothers truly were.

* * *

"A tie?" Edward repeated. "Is that even possible?"

"Apparently," Roy responded, checking everyone's cards again.

"Huh. It really _is _a tie." Alphonse cocked his head.

"I demand a rematch someday!" Edward declared, pointing at Riza and Alphonse.

The Lieutenant stood and pushed her chair in. "I have to go now," she informed them. "It's been fun. I hope we can do it again sometime."

"Definitely!" Edward exclaimed. "And I'm gonna beat Al for sure!"

"Just try it, brother."

"I will!" Edward went to go with Roy to the door to see Riza off, but Alphonse stopped him. The Fullmetal Alchemist looked at his brother, understanding immediately.

Roy handed Riza her coat, smiling at her as she stepped outside.

"I wish I could stay longer, but I have work tomorrow, and Black Hayate will be wondering where I'm at," she explained.

Roy nodded. "Yeah. I understand. But, uh, maybe sometime…we could do it again…and…" he trailed off, unable to finish. The dark whispering seeped back into Roy's mind, whispering thoughts of dark intent and horrible, _terrible, _ways he could use his alchemy.

He didn't want Riza to get hurt. He didn't want her to get burnt. He didn't want her to hear the thoughts in the back of his head. He didn't want to see her hurt, sad, scared or in pain.

And he most certainly did not want to kill her.

Oh, but how he wanted her.

He wanted to be near her, he wanted to smell that comforting scent, to hear that reassuring voice, to feel her presence at his side.

He had never wanted anything so badly in his whole life.

But he didn't know if he could have her without breaking her.

And it hurt him.

_You could kill her… you could burn her… You could—_

_SHUT UP!_

He wanted her enough that it silenced the voice, killed it dead. And then Roy decided that he would risk it, and that his affections for Riza were strong enough that he would never be able to bring himself to hurt her, even if he wanted to.

Back in the kitchen, two heads peered around the doorframe.

"Go on, bastard! Ask her out! Go on! You can do it!" Edward cheered quietly, so that the two military officers wouldn't hear.

Alphonse nodded. "That's right; ask her!"

"…and maybe we could play with…I dunno, just…" Roy flushed, feeling that under his collar it was probably a lot more that one hundred and seven degrees. "…just the two of us?" he finished quietly. _Oh, God. Kill me now, _he thought, feeling as if he wanted to curl up on the floor and melt into it. _This is against the f****** law, isn't it?_

Riza nodded, and Roy was sure that he saw a red tint to her cheeks as well. "That sounds nice."

Desperate to change the subject, Roy rubbed the back of his neck. "D-do you want a lift home?"

"No, that's okay. I'll call a taxi."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine. Goodbye, Roy."

"Goodbye, Riza… Be careful out there!" Roy called out.

"I will!"

Roy watched his Lieutenant walk away, and for once, he wished for rain so hard he thought his heart would give out.

**Bwaaah. Where did that even come from? I'm sorry, I just ship Royai, so... Ah, forget it. Well, it's the holidays with me now, so don't be expecting quite as many updates over then next two weeks. (You'd think I'd get 'em up faster now, but no...)**

**Anyways, a couple of replies to reviews I got:**

**lotrprincess: That's what I was aiming for! A little family!**

**Polarized Penmanship: I'm sorry! I'm just incapable of writing an FMA fic without including him about a hundred times! He's my favourite character, y'know...?**

**Just 'cuz I don't respond to your reviews doesn't mean I haven't read 'em! Keep going 'cuz I love 'em!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Well. I apologise. Sorry if the last chapter just killed Royai, and sorry for taking so long to update. Holidays, y'know…? I know I don't have much of an excuse, but I did a lot of awesome stuff. I went to AVCon (a manga, anime and video game convention), bought a 3Ds, bought some FMA merchandise (I was a sucker. I couldn't resist buying a pair of ignition gloves…) and other stuff. Anyways, that's enough of my life. ON WITH THE STORY! NEXT WATCH AS I KILL EDWIN! MYAAHAHAHAAA!**

**Chapter …Just damn it all.; Shower**

Roy ran his hand through his thick black hair, deciding he needed a shower. More for the fact that he needed to think than to actually clean himself.

Riza's back had long since disappeared into the evening haze, and yet Roy could not help but stare out into the street after her.

Eventually, he gathered enough energy to close the door and walk back to the kitchen.

Alphonse had busied himself with the cat, Edana, who had been feeling quite neglected over the course of the last few hours. The boy/armour was crouched in the corner, fussing over the cat, murmuring and crooning to her.

She rolled onto her back and swatted at the cloth attached to Alphonse's front and he laughed.

However, Edward was still sitting at the table, his fingers interlaced before his lips and a slightly contemplative expression on his lightly tanned face.

"So?" He looked up at Roy.

"'So' what?"

"You know."

"I know?"

"Uh-huh."

"Okay."

"Well?"

"What exactly do I know?"

"You know."

Roy was beginning to get irritated. "Obviously I don't know, Edward, or else I wouldn't be standing here asking you."

"I'll tell you later," Edward responded. "It's not important."

"Fine, then." Roy shrugged. "I'm going for a shower."

So upstairs he went, grabbing a clean set of clothes before he set off to the bathroom.

The shower came to life with a loud _fssshh, _as always. The somewhat rusty taps squeaked as Roy adjusted them to his preferred temperature.

Not too cold, because he hated anything less than lukewarm, and not so hot that it burned him, but warm enough that he wouldn't freeze to death in the winter weather.

Roy found the water surprisingly comfortable, even though it was perhaps his greatest weakness on the battlefield, one that rendered him…as Riza had so eloquently stated, 'as useful as a damp stick of dynamite'.

He supposed it was because no-one would attack him in a shower, besides for maybe a rabid fangirl. But those were easily beaten; a slap to the face usually did the trick.

He stood for a bit in the steaming water, allowing it to fully saturate his hair, and thought. Showers were good for thinking.

Probably because there was nothing else to do other than think, when you're in a shower. *

So that's what Roy did.

After a bit of thinking, Roy pulled out his hair products, noting that they had become considerably lighter since Edward had arrived.

_So, _Roy thought, rubbing some of the stuff into the hair that was now plastered to his scalp with water. _Edward is the kind of person who uses a lot of conditioner._

Being a soldier, Roy had an eye for small details like this, and he was glad of it. He often picked up on interesting little things others missed or overlooked.

Like the amount of hair conditioner a certain person used.

Most of the time, they were just trivial little things like that, but every once in a while, this keen-eyed trait saved his skin. Or someone else's skin.

Roy figured he'd developed it after spending so much time hanging around incredibly observant people such as Riza and Maes. Although, Maes had tended to leave this knack for finding things untapped, preferring to smash headfirst into things and ask questions later.

Roy wondered why Edward used so much conditioner.

He came up with a hypothesis.

If Edward didn't condition his hair properly, it would be tatty and hence difficult to braid. If he braided it improperly, then segments could come loose when he ran, jumped or fought.

Consequently, strands would get in his eyes and obscure his field of vision and cause him to get hit whilst fighting. This, in turn, could lead to Edward losing the fight, and perhaps result in injury or death.

In conclusion, if Edward didn't use a lot of conditioner, he would die.

Or maybe he just liked having shiny hair.

Roy liked having shiny hair.

It was a lot better than having greasy hair, or tangled hair, or even worse, being _bald. _Roy tried to imagine himself bald.

He didn't like the idea.

Rinsing the last of the foamy mixture from his thankfully existent hair, Roy flicked the excess water off his hands and feet before grabbing a towel and drying himself off.

Once he was finished with that, he pulled on the navy trousers and grey shirt he'd picked for himself and rubbed the towel against his head furiously, trying to dry it so he didn't get cold.

He made a mental note to ask Edward later why he used so much conditioner.

He stowed the wet towel on the rack, noting that there were four others there already. _That would mean that Ed's only showered twice in the time he's been here, because I used that one the other day, and he used that one to dry off the first day he came round here._

He touched them. Both were dry, indicating Edward had not showered since at least two days ago, seeing as the towels dried slowly in cold weather. Pulling one from the rack, he left the room.

Roy continued on his way, stopping only to glance into the mirror in the hallway and smooth out his ruffled hair.

Again, this served no purpose.

He went into the kitchen and tossed the towel at Edward's head. It slapped neatly into the boy's face and wrapped around his head, almost fully cloaking him. "Hey!"

"Have a shower, Ed. You look a mess," Roy ordered.

"Do not!" Edward exclaimed defiantly, whipping the towel off his head. "I showered just—"

"Two days ago?"

"HOW DID YOU—?!"

Roy smirked. "Sol-dier."

"GRR!" Edward ground his teeth furiously, shaking a fist in Roy's direction. "Whaddayou care about how I look anyway?"

"I don't want a dirty little kid running 'round my house."

Edward jumped up and waved the towel in the air, fuming and hollering, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET SO LITTLE HE COULD COVER HIMSELF IN DIRT BY FALLING DOWN IN YOUR MUDDY FOOTPRINT?!"

"I didn't even mean to say that, Edward. The word 'little' in that sentence was completely unintentional."

"I'M NOT _LITTLE!" _Edward half-shouted, half-whined, thumping his fist on the table.

"Please, don't chip that table," Roy said, walking over. He grabbed Edward's braid and waved it in front of the boy's nose. "Look at this; it's all greasy. And you have dirt all _over _your face, and I don't even know _how…"_

Alphonse watched from a distance as Roy moved all around Edward, poking him and pointing out all the messy spots.

"…and look here, there's even pen marks on your _neck_."

"Maybe your eyes are just too sharp, ever think of that?!"

In the end, the Fullmetal Alchemist wound up storming from the room with the towel over his shoulder, huffing.

He undressed in the bathroom, kicking his clothes into the corner and muttering under his breath. "Damn Colonel Bastard. Tell me what to do now, will he? 'Fullmetal, do this, Fullmetal, do that!' Grr!"

He roughly turned on the taps in the shower, hissing as the cold water slammed into his back. It sent a bolt of pain stinging down his back, aggravating the bruises he'd received on his last mission, not to mention the fact that it was like, _minus fifty degrees _in Roy's house.

He stamped his auto-mail on the floor in a moment of heated temper, creating a loud thumping noise.

After about ten minutes of intense scrubbing so as to please Roy, waving his auto-mail around in a bid to keep it dry, and about half a bottle of conditioner later, he jumped out of the shower and grabbed to towel.

The frigid air blasted him as soon as his feet hit the tiles, his auto-mail immediately draining his chest and legs of any warmth.

Shivering, he dried off at a speed rarely achieved by man and pulled on his clothes as fast as possible. He hung up his towel as he left.

There were other towels on the rack, too.

It hit him almost instantaneously. _So that's how he knew._

**Chapter whatever-that-one-just-was-part-two; Please, Trust Me (Like the lyrics at the end of 'Ready Steady Go'.)**

In the time that Alphonse had spent as a suit of armour, there had been many things he didn't need to do. He didn't need to brush his teeth before he went to bed, for example.

He didn't even need to go to bed in the first place.

He also didn't need to spend a lot of time worrying about the health and wellbeing of his body, just make sure he wasn't rusting.

So instead, he spent his time worrying about _Edward's _body, and occasionally other peoples'. This meant he'd become quite familiar with the behavioural traits of a few certain people, especially his elder brother.

He had become quite observant, and had also began to notice that some of these traits fit the profiles of many people, and he'd found that he could consequently read body language better than the average person.

Such a skill came in quite handy sometimes.

Alphonse watched his brother storm out of the room, foul temper in tow, and stomp away down the hallway to the bathroom.

He glanced through the doorway for a few seconds afterward, then shifted his glowing gaze to Roy, who remained seated at the table with a proud, victorious smirk decorating his lips.

He seemed to catch Alphonse's watchful eye and looked his way, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. "Are you okay, Alphonse?"

Alphonse nodded his head with a quiet clack and Edana padded from the room. "Yeah."

Roy shifted a little in his seat, then placed his chin on his hand, his eyes falling into a half closed position that implied comfort and trust. "Okay, then."

Alphonse watched him sit for a moment longer, and his mind flicked through the previous few events of the past couple of days.

Edward had complied almost immediately after being told to go to bed yesterday, which was weird. Not even Alphonse could manage to do that half the time.

He'd played along quite comfortably and apparently enjoyed being on the same team as Roy during the card game. When did he ever agree to even remain in the same room as the Colonel for more than an hour without incessantly complaining?

And just a few minutes ago, he'd (sort of) willingly gone along for a shower at Roy's command.

_I've missed something when these two were here together, _Alphonse thought. _And I'm pretty sure it's quite important._

Roy flicked his head, indicating there was something annoying invading his happy bubble of blissful content. He looked lazily to his right at Alphonse sitting in the corner and beckoned to him with a slight head gesture, saying, "C'mere. Sit up at the table, not on the floor."

Alphonse stood up and went over, settling himself on the chair opposite the man.

Roy opened his eyes fully now, and removed his chin from his hand. "So, done anything of interest lately?"

Alphonse thought for a moment before responding, "Not really. Our last search was a dead end; turns out that the Philosopher's Stone people had been talking about was actually the key to a large military weaponry storage facility that a terrorist group had been planning to ransack."

Roy gave a nod of remembrance. "Oh, yeah. The one out in Kasharn. That one's always targeted. Gotta keep an eye on that place."

Alphonse continued. "It was just a codename. But most of the group were inexperienced street thieves and pick-pockets with no real fighting experience. Brother and I had no trouble rounding them up."

The younger Elric's demeanour darkened slightly. "Or so I thought. We were split up briefly and that was when bother took that beating to his side he never told me about. Doofus."

Roy let out a quiet chuckle. "Doofus, huh? I see."

Alphonse nodded decidedly. "Doofus. Then we came back here. We were just checking into the hotel when brother called you. He said you told him that you 'didn't have time for his nonsense'."

Roy gave a shrug of apologetic nature. "Yeah, well, it was pretty busy that day… Because both Breda and Fuery were absent, there was a lot more work we had to do that they normally would have and stuff like that."

Roy rubbed his head as if the memory itself was giving him a headache. "And then the _communications went down _and Fuery was the one who'd made all the last edits and no-one else knew how to fix it and there was a whole kerfuffle about that…"

He hung his head, then flipped it back to stare helplessly at the ceiling. "And _then, _the _flipping_ _General _showed up! Gah! What don't the higher ups understand about 'we're busy now, please don't visit'?! Oh, geez, you should have seen the soldiers run."

He rolled his eyes. "And then to top it all off, Havoc kept pulling pranks on me and it was starting to get really annoying."

"I understand," Alphonse told him. "But this _is _big brother we're talking about."

Roy nodded. "I s'pose so. He did eventually hunt me down anyway. He was waiting in my car when I got in. There was one hell of a shouting match then."

Alphonse heard a muffled hiss and a thump from somewhere upstairs.

"That'll be the _cold _water," Roy sighed. "He _is_ a doofus."

Alphonse succeeded in rolling his eyes, making the red spots do a small lap of the shadowy eyelets they inhabited. "He really is stupid sometimes. For all his genius, stupid."

They continued for a while, but underneath the small-talk, Alphonse was beginning to piece together what exactly was going on surrounding the 'Why are the Colonel and big brother suddenly (well, more than usual, anyway) getting along?' mystery.

What he'd managed to figure so far was; Edward had found a person to place trust in.

It was a alien thing to Alphonse now, and it almost shocked him that his brother had grown so close to another person after being so closed off recently, especially in the time since Hughes' death.

Nowadays, Edward would treat most people with suspicion rather than get to know them, and that was what made the whole occurrence so strange.

It almost hurt Alphonse on the inside, as he'd been so close to him his whole life. He'd thought he'd known his brother better than anyone. He found it hurt when you thought you knew someone, only to have them go do something that totally contradicted everything you'd thought about who they were.

He thought back to the things that had happened, and drew to mind any kind of relationship between two people that was even remotely similar, trying to figure out what kind of bond this was. He puzzled over it during the whole conversation and managed to draw one conclusion.

Edward had found a father figure in the form of one Roy Mustang.

Alphonse was not entirely sure whether he should be feeling happy that his brother had a bond like this with someone, or sad because he now had to share the blonde's affections with another person.

He supposed he felt a little bit of both, and then a twinge of a new and unknown emotion zapped through Alphonse's psyche.

He recoiled from himself almost immediately, in complete and utter shock of what he'd just experienced. He couldn't believe what he'd just felt, and all at once he was frightened by it.

Living the kind of life he did, Alphonse was no stranger to these kinds of feelings. But he was used to seeing them corrupt _other people, _and being the gentle, compassionate sort of person he was, had never truly felt them himself.

He didn't like it.

Of course Edward deserved to have this! Of all the pain he'd braved, there had to be at least _one _good thing he could enjoy! He _needed _it!

Alphonse knew that Edward always blamed himself for what had happened; he beat himself up over it even now. So why shouldn't he be allowed to keep just this one little thing to himself, instead of giving it to Alphonse like he almost always did?

"Al? Alphonse? Are you alright?" Roy's voice snapped Alphonse back into the room, and he gave his helmet/head a quick shake.

"Y-yes," he stammered, looking down at the floor. "I'm fine…"

Roy's brow creased slightly, and Alphonse could immediately tell the man had sensed he hadn't quite spoken the truth. He remained silent, however, his gaze locked on the floor.

"What is it?" Roy asked eventually, a slight tone of concern slipping into his smooth voice. "Is there something wrong?"

Alphonse glanced up at him, then at his feet, then at the door, then back at the floor. "Umm… It's okay. I just had a thought, and it was…strange. That's all."

Roy's face softened, and his eyes took on a gentler glint than the normal indifferent, lazy, sarcastic one they usually held. "You can tell me what it was, you know. I might be a military dog, but I don't bite."

Alphonse looked back at Roy's face, debating whether or not he trusted this man enough to tell him. Eventually, he settled on; if brother trusts him, then I trust him too.

"Okay, well, I was thinking, you and brother have been acting different around each other for a while now," Alphonse began.

Roy nodded slowly. "Yes…I'll admit that."

"So I was trying to figure out why. And I finally realised what it was."

There was silence in the room for a second, both of them knowing what it was Alphonse had left unsaid.

_You're like his dad now._

"And then, I got a little…jealous, I think. Or suspicious. Or both? I'm not entirely sure _what _it was. And I got sad, scared, and then angry, and now I don't know _how _I should feel." Alphonse gave a slight shrug. "I felt sad because I thought I knew what brother was like. I didn't think he'd get so close to another person so soon, and now… Maybe I don't know him as well as I thought I did."

Roy shifted his chin back onto his palm in a pensive sort of way, eyes narrowed in thought.

"I was scared 'cause I've seen people do crazy things when they're envious. I'm angry at myself because I know how much brother always does for me, and I know he deserves to have someone like you he can put his trust in. And now I don't know."

Alphonse hesitated. "I know it probably sounds strange, but…I think it's because neither of us really ever had a father, and now that he sort of does…I don't know how to react. Maybe it's because I know there are things you can help big brother with that I can't. Maybe I think I'm going to fade into the background now that there's another person he can find family in."

Roy looked up at Alphonse and the boy stiffened, unable to read the expression in his dark eyes. "It-It's a silly though, I know, but…we've been together so long, just the two of us, it just doesn't feel right somehow. Sure, there's always been Granny and Winry, but it's different with them. I don't know _why _it's different, it just is."

Even to Alphonse, Roy's body was indecipherable. He seemed to be deep in thought about what the boy was saying.

"Maybe a small part of me is jealous that it used to be just me and him, but now there's you too and…" Alphonse trailed off. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm saying anymore…"

Roy closed his eyes for a few seconds, and when he opened them, he was smiling. "Alphonse."

"Y-yes?"

"You're brother is so unbelievably lucky to have a sibling like you. Do you know why?"

"No… Wh-why?"

"What you're doing isn't out of jealousy. Not at all. This is what I'd expect to see from someone looking out for and shielding another."

Alphonse looked at him, puzzled. "I…I don't see what you mean…"

Roy's smile widened a little. "Put it this way; in my line of work, there's a lot of subterfuge and deception. If you wanna get anywhere, you've gotta get a strong support team behind you. If you're good enough at reading people, you can easily derive from how people act around each other who's on who's side and who's not."

Alphonse nodded slowly as he tried to wrap his mind around this new piece of information.

"Look at me, for instance. I didn't ask for it, but I've got a little team of my own behind me, and if you look close enough, you'll be able to tell who they are by how they act around me."

Alphonse's mind flew back to one particular day, a rainy day, in a soaking alley, where a particular pair of alchemists had been under attack by a particular serial killer.

_THUMP!_

_"__Hey, Hawkeye! What the hell d'you do that for?!"_

_"__Stay back! You know as well as I do that your attacks are useless on days like this!"_

"Yeah…" Alphonse mumbled. "Like Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Yes," Roy said, his eyes darkening. "She's one. Unfortunately, my support team isn't exactly the safest one to be on… But enough of that, my point is, what it looks like to me is that you're trying to scope me out to make sure I'm not going to hurt your brother, or leave him like your own father did."

Alphonse's soulfire eyes widened as the realisation of Roy's words dawned on him.

"Your brother is so lucky to have you. So very lucky, he barely knows the half of it."

Alphonse thought that if he'd had his human body, his eyes might be brimming with tears. "That's what you think…?"

Roy nodded. "Yes. It's like you're protecting him. I know he does look out for you a lot, so much that I wonder if he remembers that anyone else even _exists, _but there are countless occasions where _you _prove to be the one protecting _him. _And he'll _never _put you after me; you're the first thing on his priority list and I don't think that's _ever _going to change._"_

Alphonse shuddered with a strong surge of emotion as a familiar memory resurfaced.

_"__Your target's just _me, _right? What about my little brother, Alphonse?"_

_"__Only if he proves to be an obstacle… Otherwise, my business here is solely with the 'Fullmetal Alchemist'…you."_

_"__Then promise me… Promise you won't lay a finger on him."_

He looked at Roy. "But… But what if I don't _want _brother to put me before himself…?"

Roy shrugged, still smiling. "Then you do your bit. _Protect him._ You're a suit of armour, aren't you? You're meant to protect people. And also…if you can't protect him…"

Alphonse cocked his head and Roy placed both hands palm-down on the table.

"I'll do it."

_"__What are you saying?! Don't just sit there! No! Don't hurt him! RUN AWAY, DAMMIT! STOP!"_

_BANG!_

_"__What he said."_

Alphonse looked at Roy again. His expression now was solid and determined.

Then he let out a yawn and said, "C'mon into the living room and I'll light the fire. It's starting to get cold in here."

"Okay."

They stood and went to the other room, Roy pulling out a pair of stark white ignition gloves as they did.

"Oh, and Alphonse?"

"Yes?"

"Just so you know, I will _never _hurt your brother. Now, I know I'm not the most reliable man out there, but…I swear, I'll do everything I can to be the kind of person he deserves to have as a father."

Alphonse remained silent again, stunned. The tone in the man's voice was so firm, so unshakably unyielding, the armoured soul was almost scared to find out what would happen to anyone who tried to take Edward away from Roy or from Alphonse.

"Please. Just please, trust me, and I won't let you or him down."

"…Okay."

"Thank you."

"Roy?"

"Yeah?"

"What you said before… My opinion of you… You _are_ more to me than just my big brother's superior. Because I trust you."

Roy smiled slightly, looking at the glove he'd just began to pull onto his hand. "That means more to me than you know, Alphonse."

He stood in the middle of the living room and took aim at the fireplace, narrowing his eyes. "And…"

**Chapter the-one-after-the-one-that-was-before-this-one; Grease Monkey**

"...voila," Roy proclaimed, stepping aside. A hearty blaze burned within the fireplace, heating the room nicely. The man placed the gloves up on his mantle, stepping back to sit on the couch opposite the fire.

The kitchen had been abandoned, so Edward had moved on to the living room. He'd arrived just in time to witness another display of Roy's pyrotechnics.

"Thank goodness," the Fullmetal Alchemist sighed, practically _melting_ onto the floor a few feet away from the hearth. "I was freezing to death!"

"C'mon, Ed. It's not that—"

Edward cut the man off with a lazy gesture at his auto-mail. "Metal is a heat draining substance, remember? It isn't easy to keep warm with steel stuck on to my body."

Just as they spoke, there was a ringing noise from the other side of the hallway, in the direction of Roy's study.

"Hm. I'll get that," Roy said, turning and walking out.

"Wonder who it is?" Edward mumbled nonchalantly, closing his eyes and enjoying the heat of the fire.

"Mm-hm," Alphonse responded, settling down on the carpet.

A few seconds later, Roy poked his head back into the room, looking slightly surprised. "It-It's Winry for you two."

Edward's eyes cracked open. "Winry?"

Roy nodded once.

"Wonder how she knew where we were?" Alphonse said, watching his brother make his way over to the door.

"Dunno, Al. I'll ask her." Edward went into the study picking up the phone that Roy had left sitting on the cabinet beside the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Is that you, Ed?" Winry's voice spoke clearly through the line.

"Yeah, it's me. Whaddayou want?"

A breif silence.

"What kind of a question is that?!" Winry shouted. "I called to see how you're going, idiot! How am I supposed to find out when you never call me yourself? You don't write, and you only ever come home after you've battered your auto-mail beyond recognition! I don't even see you apart from that!"

"Not true!" Edward exclaimed defiantly. "Sometimes _you_ come out _here_ and fix my auto-mail!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT, IDIOT!"

Edward held the phone away from his ear, flinching. "I do call you sometimes, Winry..."

"Not nearly enough!" the young auto-mail mechanic huffed. "Alchemy-freak!"

"Auto-mail-freak!"

In the other room, Roy and Alphonse exchanged a glance.

"They've been talking for fifteen seconds and already gotten into an argument," Roy stated, somewhat disbelievingly.

"That's brother and Winry for you," Alphonse sighed, shrugging.

Back in the study, Edward was slowly but surely losing his hearing due to wrath of Winry's scolding.

"Winry." He interrupted. "Winry."

"And then you go off fighting somewhere, and get my wonderful masterpiece absolutely _demolished_..."

"WIN-RY."

"...and then you just go, 'Here, fix it'! And you don't even act like it matters!"

"Winry!"

"Do you have _any_ idea how delicate those intricate systems are?!"

"Uuwiiiiiiiiineeeeeryyyyyyy!"

"If you don't take better care of it, you'll eventually end up destroying the port as well, and then you'll have to go through surgery _again!"_

"Wi-ne-ry!"

"Is that what you want?!"

"WINRY!"

"What?!"

"What exactly _did_ you call for?" Edward finally managed to say. "And how did you know we were here?"

"I told you already! I wanted to make sure you hadn't killed yourself yet," the young mechanic grumbled loudly. "Or totally messed up Al's body like last time! And to find you, I just called Colonel Mustang's office and Lieutenant Hawkeye told me were you were."

Edward's silence implied more disbelief than if he'd spoken it.

"Okay, I also called to make sure you hadn't broken your arm or your leg," Winry admitted. "I heard there was a big rainstorm up in East City, and knowing you, you were probably out in it."

"..."

"Well? Were you?"

"...You do know me, Winry."

There was a deep sigh from the other end of the line and a mumbled, "Idiot. How long?"

"...oo ars..."

"What was that?"

"..."

"Edward." Winry's voice held a threatening tone.

"...Two hours," Edward finally muttered.

Winry, uncharacteristically, squeaked. "T-two hours?! In rain that heavy?!"

"Hey! Relax! I fixed it all up!"

"What do you mean...?" That was a very _scary_ evil voice, and Edward was sure he could _feel_ Winry's horrific, murderous aura seeping out of the phone.

"Me and Mustang fixed it! We got the water out of it and all that! Because I remembered all the stuff you told me, and we took it off-just my arm 'cuz there was none in my leg-and then I got it out, then we left it to dry..." Edward went off on a tirade of high-speed babbling, almost praying Winry wouldn't utilise her fantastic skills of arm strength and hurl a wrench at his head the whole way from the auto-mail store to East City and knock him unconscious.

He trailed off, unable to think of any more points to add and braced himself for the incoming audio assault.

It never came.

"Did it... Did it hurt?"

Edward blinked, astounded, then nearly dropped the phone. "Wh-what?"

"Your auto-mail. Did it hurt?" Winry repeated. Her voice was soft, almost gentle even.

Edward paused. What was going on? Winry should be yelling at him right about now. But she wasn't. She was asking him if it hurt.

"Um... A little..." Edward mumbled. "But doesn't it always?"

Winry was quiet for a second. "Auto-mail makes your bones and muscles ache sometimes, in the rain. That's what clients say... So I was wondering, did it hurt you?"

Edward looked at his shoulder. "Just a bit, but it's nothing I can't handle..."

"Good," Winry responded quietly. "Good."

The line went silent. Edward twiddled his wet braid absent-mindedly, tapping his metal foot.

He realised his flesh toes had gone so numb with cold he couldn't actually feel them anymore.

Winry, on the other hand, was completely still, save for how she coiled her fingers around the wire connecting the phone and the receiver.

She pictured Edward's face, how he would be wearing that odd, blank expression that he got sometimes, blushing slightly.

He always did that when she spoke this way. And then...

_Chink, chink, chink, chink... _There it was, that quiet noise Edward's ankle joint made when he flexed it repeatedly.

Winry smiled. That was always the same with him. At any awkward time, any rare occasion where Edward was feeling inadequate, uncomfortable, nervous, edgy, indecisive or afraid, he would tap at his auto-mail.

Sometimes it was his arm, but only ever his auto-mail, and Winry had a theory as to why.

She thought it might be that Edward was subconsciously checking he could still walk for himself, and use his alchemy. If his metal limbs failed him, it would be a problem.

No arm meant no alchemy, and no leg meant no walking, running, fighting or simply standing,

"Edward?" Winry spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Why do you always tap your auto-mail like that?"

There was another brief silence as Edward hesitated. "Um, out of habit?" he answered cautiously.

"I see."

Another silence.

"And, um, it, uh, it reminds me of the auto-mail store in Resembool..."

Winry's mind drained itself of any thoughts, and one sentence slipped from her lips. "Why would you want to be reminded of that?"

Edward swallowed, panicking. /Nice one, Eddie! How're you planning to get out of this one?!/

"I...ah...! I-I kah... Um... Yeah, I kuh, I... I-I-I-I..." His voice cracked and failed.

"Ed?"

Edward flushed a ludicrous shade of red, putting shame to the cloak that hung on the back of the chair in the kitchen.

"Because that's your place, Winry."

Winry's eyes widened. "M-meaning what?"

Edward coughed, his cheeks burning. "Ga... Ga... Ga... Aiyaaa...aamm...maa...aaah..." He started slurring out gibberish, his mind gone blank. "W-well... The reason I think of there is ah, it's because, because..."

Winry's face had started to deepen in colour too as she began to realise where her childhood friend was going with his nonsensical stammering.

"It's 'cuz, ah... Well, you're normally there, Winry," Edward mumbled.

Forget your heart beating so fast it would leap right out of his mouth, Edward thought his heart was beating so stupidly strong and at such a ferocious velocity that it might smash right through his chest and grab a couple of his ribs and start drumming on his head before shoving the bones up his nose and running off down the hallway, spurting blood as it went. And he felt slightly sick. He didn't think he could say anything more without stumbling all over himself and looking like a fool.

"O-okay... Is that all?"

"And..." Edward struggled to find something that could steer the conversation off this awkward path. "And it reminds me of...the pie you make! Yeah! It tastes nice..." Edward hung his head, killing himself on the inside. _Really, Ed? Pie? Is that the best you could come up with? YOU ARE A FAIL WHALE, FLAIL, FLAIL, FLAIL!_

"I understand. I... I'll have to make that again next time you come home," Winry decided.

"Yeah..." Edward trailed off.

There was silence for a bit before Edward blurted out, "Did you wanna talk to Al?"

"Yes, that'd be great. I'll talk to you later, Ed."

"Yup, seeya, Winry," Edward placed his hand over the mouthpiece and turned, shouting, "Hey, Al! She wants to talk to ya'!"

"Alright, brother!" There was a rapid clanking as the young armoured alchemist approached at a speed slightly faster than normal.

He stepped into the room, ducking slightly under the doorframe. He took the phone from his brother's hands. "Hey, you look a bit red. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. This is just from the cold," Edward responded quickly.

"If you say so." Alphonse shrugged and lifted the phone to the side of his helmet. "Hello? Winry? It's me, Alphonse."

Edward left the room, padding back to the living room. He flopped down before the fireplace, lying on his stomach with his chin on his arms, which were loosely folded before him. He sighed, an uncomfortable feeling of niggling embarrassment chewing up his insides.

"So?" Roy raised an eyebrow.

"'So' what?" Edward responded, his eyes drifting closed.

"You know."

"I know?"

"Uh-huh."

"Okay."

"Well?"

"What exactly do I know?"

"You know," Roy's smirk had grown largely, and his eyes were alight with mocking joy.

"Well, obviously I-," Edward started, but then stopped, sat up, and turned to face Roy, frowning and narrowing his eyes. "I see what you did there."

Roy shrugged lightly, irritatingly, self-centredly. "You and Winry, eh?"

Edward nearly choked on his own spit, feeling heat gather in his cheeks. "Wh-what the hell...?!"

"I have very sharp ears. And you're lucky that I was feeling faint and your brother had to go fetch me a glass of water whilst you talked."

"I'm not with Winry!" Edward exclaimed, baring his teeth angrily.

"No, but you _wanna_ be."

Edward growled. Then a look of dark, malicious intent infested his face and he promptly said, "You and Riza."

Roy's eyes went wide and he spluttered indignantly. "That's not possible! There are all kinds of _rules prohibiting that_, not to mention the fact that I've known her _for years!_ Do you know how _awkward_ that would be?! And how many times she's _shot at me?!"_

"Not to worry, Mustang my man, your denial says it all," Edward all but purred, flouncing over to place his arm around Roy's shoulder.

"Same with you and Winry, then," Roy responded flatly.

Edward twitched, shooting a glare that lasted precisely two and a half seconds. "No, because I don't love Winry."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do."

"IDONTIDONTIDONTIDONT!" Edward whined. "So shut up!"

Roy shrugged. "You _so_ do."

Edward snarled. "Bastard."

He stomped over and flopped over on the floor, scowling. "But admit it. You really do have a thing for Hawkeye, don't you?"

Roy remained silent for a second. Then; "Perhaps."

Edward rolled over and sat up, goggling at the man. "You _do!"_

Roy placed his chin on his hand, looking thoughtful. "I said 'perhaps'. And besides, I... It's just not possible, I mean, within the military, and I...I...I'm..." Roy's voice quietened drastically. "I'm not the safest person to be around."

Edward scoffed. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Roy shifted uncomfortably. "It's complicated."

"Is it?" Edward raised an eyebrow. "I think you're lying."

Roy shook his head. "No, that's the truth."

"What's the _whole_ truth, then?"

Roy's eyes glazed over as he debated whether he wanted to tell Edward his secret or not.

Edward laid back down, this time on his back so that he could stare at the ceiling. "If you think you're not safe to be around, consider _my_ position. Everywhere I go, something serious happens. I get on a train, it gets targeted by terrorists. I go to Liore, I start a rebellion. I go to Tucker's house, a kid dies. I go to the fifth lab, it gets blown up. I head for a library, it burns down I go to town, Scar just _happens_ to be there." Edward let out a mirthless laugh. "Heck, I'm a bad luck charm on two... Er, _one_ leg."

Roy twitched his shoulders in a half-shrug. "Fair point."

"And how exactly are _you_ dangerous to be near?"

Roy remained silent, then shifted a little and pointed to his mantle. "Because of those."

Edward looked a little to the side, following his gaze. A pair of ignition gloves, looking slightly dejected, lay upon the bare mantle-piece.

Roy closed his eyes. "Because I'm the Flame Alchemist."

Edward looked quizzical. "I don't really get it."

Roy thought for a few seconds. "Do you ever feel really, really angry?"

Edward snorted in laughter. "Look at who you're talking to. 'Hot-headed' is my middle name."

"I suppose so," Roy agreed. "Anyway, when you're mad, do you ever feel like you have to use alchemy to prove a point?"

"I almost always do."

"Yes. Which is alright for you, because you use transmutation, and with your skill, you can easily fix what you break."

Edward nodded.

"But it's different for me. If I use my alchemy, my target isn't easy to fix. Even just a little blast, and-BLAM-gone. A pile of ash. There's no way to reverse that, especially if it's a person."

Edward frowned. "But I've never actually _seen _you lose your temper and result to alchemy. What makes you think it'll happen?"

Roy thought again, unsure how to word the next part. "During war," he began, speaking carefully. "People lose a lot of things. Family, friends, homes, money, possessions... All these material things. They also lose other things, like innocence, trust, hope and in some cases, even sanity."

Edward nodded again, listening intently.

"But some people also _gain_ things. For the victors, they win land, and things they can use. It's the same with losing things. You can get physical things, but also other things. Like guilt, and depression, or something more." Roy took a deep breath, almost as an excuse to stop talking.

He decided he detested having to share this with anyone.

"Go on," Edward prompted, closing his eyes and shifting closer to the fireplace.

"Well, after we came back from the war, most of us had changed in a way or two. One of our soldiers never talked again." Roy recalled the man's face. "We'd all seen things we wished we could forget, and we all had blood on our hands. We all had a little more darkness in our hearts after what we'd done."

Edward opened one eye and peered at Roy curiously.

"I came back with something more than most of the rest, something not quite serious and something I didn't know that anyone else had." Roy's voice was quiet.

"What was it?" Edward asked softly.

"I could hear the darkness in my heart."

The younger alchemist's brow furrowed slightly as he puzzled this over.

"What I mean to say is, I heard it louder than most people. Looking back to the start of this, when you're angry, do you ever think 'Hit him!' or 'That guy deserves to die!'?"

Edward nodded. "Yeah. Especially with jerks like that Shou Tucker. I was so mad with him, I... I punched him a lot. Because inside of me, it was all like, 'Kill him!' It just felt right. I felt like I had to. And the bruises on my hand, they're 'cuz I was really pissed the other day, so started punching a wall."

Roy nodded. "Because when you're angry, that voice gets really loud, and we listen to it. But in me, that voice wants me to burn people. Burn anyone, anything. Because in the war, _that's_ what I had to do to survive. I burned things. Click, spark, snap, boom. Click, spark, snap, boom. It was printed into my soul. And whenever I see something that reminds me of then, that darkness pipes up and tells to use my alchemy. Even when I don't want to."

"But you never have," Edward pointed out. "So that means you can ignore it, right?"

"Most of the time, yes," Roy replied. "But with the Lieutenant... I don't want to risk it. If I hurt her, I..." He trailed off, a sorrowful, faraway look entering his dark eyes.

Edward swung up into a sitting position, staring directly across the room at Roy. "I know what it is. It's because you don't like taking risks. It's not something you do."

"No," Roy admitted. "I would prefer to know that something was going to work before I try it."

Edward was a little confused. "But that's what alchemists _do_. We experiment."

Roy smiled a little. "Such a logical approach. But I'd rather know Riza was safe and not be with her, than risk her life and be with her."

"How do you know you aren't strong enough to resist the darkness unless you try?!" Edward asked boldly.

Roy's eyes widened a little. Then he smiled. This time it was a genuine smile, and it was a strange thing to see on his face. "I suppose you're right."

Edward nodded, eyes shut arrogantly. "Of course I am!"

"So what's your excuse for not being with Winry?

Edward did another spit-take, jumping to his feet. "I DO _NOT_ LOVE WINRY!"

"What was that, brother?" Alphonse asked, stepping into the room.

"NOTHING! THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN ME AND THAT GREASE-MONKEY!"

**AIYAAA. Was it bad...? Ed's little stumble through romance was a lot easier to write than Roy's, though. (Was it funny? Please tell me it was funny, at least!) Was that angst-y bit good? Bad? Ugly? LEAVE A REVIEW AND TELL ME, DARNIT! MY AIM OF 100 REVIEWS STILL STANDS! Wanna help me achieve it? Just type something in that little box there...or press that little button...c'mon, you know you wanna...**

**Also, I've reached the 50,000 word mark! (It was never meant to be so long… -.-")**

**And I've started another thing. It's a series of one-shots and stuff, and it's called 'All Is One; A series of...Things.' Check it out if you got time! (Shameless self-advertising forever!)**

**Oh, and one more thing! Somebody's gotta write an awesome fic about Hughes where he's not in love with Roy. (I find this disturbing on so many levels...)**  
**HUGHES/GRACIA AWAY! *Flies away on giant rainbow of craziness***


	15. Chapter 15

**O HAI! I had my grading in karate yesterday! I'm a blue belt now! Happy day! (I've been training in karate for just over seven years now.) On to the next chapter...**

**Chapter You'd-better-be grateful!-I-went-the-whole-way-back-to-35-and-coun ted-that-this-is-38!...hopefully...!; So, we did get it after all.**

Edward curled into a sulking position, hugging his knees and staring into the fire. "...molybdenum, technetium, ruthenium, rhodium, palladium, silver, cadmium, indium, tin, antimony, tellurium, iodine, xenon..." He was halfway through reciting the Periodic table when Alphonse interrupted him.

"Stop huffing, big brother," the boy said, stroking the cat.

"...Lanthanoids... No. Hafnium, tantalum, tungsten..."

"C'mon, brother."

"...iridium, platinum... I said no. Gold, mercury..."

"I'll let you have the window seat on the train," Alphonse bribed.

"...bismuth, polonium... I don't care. Astatine, radon..."

"What if I said I won't try to make you drink milk ever again?"

"...Actinoids, rutherfordium... I still don't care. Dubnium, seaborgium..."

"You've almost reached the end now, though."

"...meitnerium, darmstadtium... I'll just start again. Roentgenium, copernicium..."

"That's the last one."

"Now I'll start again. Take that. Hydrogen, helium, lithium..." Edward continued and Alphonse gave up.

Roy watched Edward recite the entire table again, this time including all the Lanthanoids and Actinoids as well.

Twice.

Slowly.

Then he stopped and resorted to fuming silently.

"He's admiring my fire," Roy proclaimed. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to light the fireplace without setting the whole building on fire? Took me _years _to figure it out. It's only natural he should be so impressed by it, I mean-"

"Shut it," Edward snapped. "Just. Shut it."

Roy scowled.

"Hey, Roy," Alphonse started.

"Mm?"

"Winry asked me before what year the battle up in Gaffling happened. I wasn't really sure, and now I'm curious. Do you remember?"

Roy frowned. "Ah! Damn, now that you mention it, I can't recall! I think it was something eighteen-sixty-something, though..."

They talked for a while, and Edward eventually stopped huffing and joined in.

"Do you know what, Al?" Edward asked suddenly.

"What is it?"

"I just realised," Edward began, looking at the ceiling. "It turns out we _did_ end up getting that break after all, though not really how I thought we would."

Alphonse nodded. "I suppose so. I mean, I had heaps of fun today, and really, it's a nice change from all the missions we've been seeing recently."

Roy cleared his throat. "Actually, regarding that matter, I have a small confession to make..."

Edward and Alphonse looked at him.

"You see, I can assign you most of the little missions you go on, or at least fiddle about with the higher ups and alter where you get sent and why. So um, I hope you don't mind, but lately I've been sending you out to places that are, to be frank, quite dull." He shrugged awkwardly. "All you'll really see on those missions are minor robbers and idiots who pretend to be alchemists and do ridiculous things. Well, that and inspections of various production lines and distribution companies."

Edward cocked his head. "Why?"

Roy sighed. "I'm trying to keep you away from where the big trouble is. But it's not easy. Since you're so skilled, everyone in the military wants you everywhere."

Alphonse spoke. "So people want big brother on the dangerous missions?"

Roy nodded. "And as you can see, most of them have their way. I'm the one responsible for sending you on the boring ones in between, trying to cut you some slack."

Edward blinked. "R-really? Why?"

"Because you always overdo it in the hard ones," Roy deadpanned. "And then you end up worrying us after being sent to hospital, sometimes even with a life-threatening injury, and Alphonse missing a limb or two, all dented, chipped and scratched."

Edward turned to his brother. "He has a fair point."

"Also there's paperwork involved when you get injured. And there'd be even more if you died."

Alphonse dipped his head again. "We ought to thank you, then."

Edward scowled, then followed suit, grumbling, "Thank you, Colonel Bastard."

"You should be grateful," Roy said pointedly as the Elric brothers raised their heads. "There's a lot of people within the military that don't exactly like me, and insisting on sending you on the missions _I_ want you on doesn't help my case any. Also I do a lot of paperwork to cover your tracks. A _lot_ of paperwork. Do you know how much I hate paperwork?"

"Then why don't you just let them take me?" Edward asked, then added snarkily. "It's probably lowering the speed at which you get _promoted_."

Roy shrugged. "I guess I'm just a sucker on the inside. We've all got our soft spots... be it kittens..." He looked at Alphonse, who did that weird blushing thing.

Then at Edward. "...a relative, perhaps..."

He thought of Fuery. "...or puppies..."

Of Hughes. "...or our kids..."

Havoc. "...or a girl..."

Himself. "I suppose I just don't want to see you two get hurt."

Edward filled the next silence with another of his infamous yawns, stretching and crossing his arms and legs.

Edana leapt from the arm of the couch beside Alphonse and padded over to him, tail held high.

Edward shook his head, sneering irritatedly as the cat fearlessly padded over and settled on his lap, acting as if she did it all the time and falling asleep in an instant.

"This cat," Edward hissed, pointing at Edana. "Is probably the closest to pure rudeness and arrogance you can get, rolled into a really tiny body!"

Roy huffed loudly in what Edward supposed was a sarcastic laugh. "Look who's talking!"

Edward snarled, his eyes taking on that familiar glint of fury. "Who are you calling so tiny he would explode after swallowing a single hydrogen molecule?!"

"Big brother... Don't start."

"You were the one who said it, Ed."

"I WAS NOT!"

"Technically, brother, you were."

"Now you're on _HIS SIDE_?!"

"I'm on neither side."

"YA' SURE DON'T ACT LIKE IT!"

"Pipe down, Ed."

"YOU PIPE DOWN!"

"I'm not the one screaming at roughly five million Hz."

"RR...RAAR!"

"Ooh! I'm sure _scared_ now! Your roar was probably the most _terrifying_ threat I've _ever_ heard!"

"Bastard!"

"Pipsqueak."

"Old man!"

"Little bean."

"Useless idiot!"

"Shrimpcake."

"WET MATCH!"

Pause.

"That's new," Roy commented.

Edward stopped glaring and raised an eyebrow. "What's new?"

"You've actually realised you can try to insult more than one of my non-existent attributes," Roy explained with a light shrug. "Perhaps, though, if you can find one, you could try focusing your arguments around a flaw in my person that _does_ exist, like I do with your height."

"OHMYGO-YOU-!" Edward clenched his fist, trembling with rage. "JUST-JUST SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!"

"Yeah, right."

Of course, in the end, Edward and Roy's relationship was, and always would be, based on arguing and bickering.

**Chapter THEEEEERRRDY-NAAAYEEEEN!; To Shout at a Life-Threatening Injury (In traditional 'me' style, there shall be an action scene to make up for all the romance in the last few chapters. *sits curled in the corner, hugging knees*...Still can't believe that came from my hands...)**

_Thunk! Clang! Thump!_

"Oof!"

"Hah, hah, hah..."

_Clank! Thud-bam!_

"Rrr!" _Fff-BAM!_

"Nice kick!" Roy called to Edward from the sidelines.

He was standing on a slab of concrete off to the side of his back garden, watching as Edward and Alphonse sparred enthusiastically, trading ferocious blows and crippling strikes as if it were the most normal thing for a couple of brothers to do on a regular basis.

It was the following morning now, and after a full night's sleep (Edward having woken up wondering once again how he'd managed to teleport himself from in front of the fireplace to the spare room) Roy felt like he had all the energy in the world to burn. So, it seemed, had Edward, insisting right after breakfast that he and Alphonse spar.

Alphonse appeared to be on the winning side, slamming blow after blow at his brother and hassling him into a defensive strategy.

The youngest alchemist of the three pushed forward, raining punches, backfists, lunges and elbow strikes down onto Edward 'til the Fullmetal Alchemist was huffing with the exertion of dodging, evading and parrying them all.

"C'mon, Ed! Step it up!" Roy called encouragingly.

Edward gritted his teeth and threw up his right arm to counter an incoming jab, sweat dripping down his face.

"Remember; it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog!" Roy added.

Edward paused for a microsecond to holler, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LITTLE BEAN SO SHORT HE WOULD BE CRUSHED TO DEATH IN A FIGHT WITH A BABY CHIHUAHUA?!"

A bolt of pain flared down his chin as Alphonse's fist clipped his forehead and his canine teeth knocked together painfully.

"Eyes on the ball, Ed!" Roy shouted.

"Sorry, brother!" Alphonse chirped apologetically whilst sending a high kick at his brother's head.

"Don't apologise when you're about to knock me in the face, Al!" Edward grunted, ducking under the blow.

Without warning, the blonde teen sprang up and, using his brother's shoulder as a launch-pad, did a handspring right over the top of his head and landed facing the boy's back.

He thrust out a powerful front kick, slamming his foot directly into the centre of Alphonse's back. This wasn't enough to fell him and Edward knew it wouldn't be, so he sprang off to the side to avoid the back kick he foresaw.

But Alphonse didn't go for the kick, instead substituting it for a powerful spinning backfist to Edward's forehead that sent him skidding into the grass, reeling with the force of the blow.

He went to jump back up but found the armoured alchemist towering above him, both hands held up in a fighting position.

Edward sighed, but more in a happy, exasperated way than out of disappointment.

"Checkmate," Alphonse said cheerfully.

"I guess it is," Edward admitted ruefully. "Nice backfist, by the way."

"Thanks. Sorry if it hurt; I wanted to try something new."

"Nah, it's fine. Nothing I can't fix with my portable ice-pack," Edward joked, pointing at his auto-mail, which was indeed cold as ice in the bitter morning air.

Roy padded over and offered Edward a hand up. "Bad luck," he said consolingly.

"Luck is-"

"I know," Roy interjected. "Illogical and stupid"

"And besides," Edward started, brushing clingy bits of grass and burrs from his clothes and tossing his jacket aside. "I hardly ever win against Al. It's like, a one in a hundred years event. Our scores are maybe, five hundred thousand to two, if even."

"Hm," Roy grunted, watching Alphonse flop down on his knees and shuffle towards a bush, crooning towards some small animal hidden underneath.

Edward wiped the sweat off his brow with his singlet, then rubbed his forehead tenderly, holding his auto-mail hand against it gently.

Roy looked from Alphonse to Edward and back.

On one hand, there was Edward, the Fullmetal Alchemist and probably one of the toughest, strongest fighters Roy had ever met. And that was saying something, seeing as he worked for the military.

And yet the one person who was able to beat the living daylights out of him on a daily basis was his younger brother, who was gentle, sweet, well-mannered and at times, adorable.

He loved kittens, for goodness sake.

And he also knew that Edward's auto-mail mechanic back in Resembool was capable of giving the boy a fair beating.

And she was a teenage girl. Weird.

Roy pondered over the strange ways in which the world worked.

Edward tapped him on the shoulder, snapping him out of his pondering.

"Do you wanna go?" he asked, his eyes full of earnest interest. "I haven't really ever sparred you before, come to think of it. Not in a match, without alchemy."

Roy shrugged. _It could help me get a little bit of strength back after spending so long resting. _"Why not?"

"Nice!" Edward took on a cheeky grin, shooting Roy a playful look. "But I'm warning you now, I won't hold back!"

Roy smirked. "I'm fine with that."

He took a few steps back anticipating a direct, high-speed, no-nonsense frontal assault.

That's exactly what he got, and at an even higher ferocity than what he'd expected.

Taken aback by the sheer speed and aggressiveness of Edward's attack, Roy slipped into defensive.

He brought his arms up to guard his head, like a boxer, then ducked neatly around behind Edward's extended fist, knocking a light kick into the boy's side.

He drew back, surprised by the endurance Edward showed, not even flinching.

"You'll hafta hit harder than that!" he exclaimed, whirling around in a massive spinning kick aimed for the side of Roy's head.

The Colonel took a risk and raised both arms, catching Edward's leg mid-swing and pushing upwards in a toss he'd been taught years ago.

Edward merely went with the momentum of the strike, adding his own by springing backwards in a flip so he remained on his feet a couple of steps away.

Steps which he closed quickly, springing a flying kick at Roy's head with his bare, auto-mail foot. Roy, with practised speed, sidestepped and slammed a palm into Edward's metal shin, pushing him to the side and knocking off his landing.

Edward, unbalanced, stumbled slightly and Roy pounced on this opportunity, darting around to his back to land an elbow strike to the side of the boy's head, then a straight palm into the space directly above his braid.

This caused the boy to topple forward and Roy went in with a swift kick to the tendons on the back of Edward's heels.

The boy fell, then continued into a forward roll and finished in a crouching position facing away from his opponent.

He used his hand as a turning point and was back on his feet and charging at Roy in record time, coming in with a blunt front punch.

Roy stepped to the side, pushing Edward's fist as he did, so he ended up on the boy's side.

Then he whacked a fist into the boy's head, somewhat lightly, another fist into his side and a knee into his inner leg.

Before he could land another blow, Edward had ducked down and slammed into his chest, thrusting his adversary backwards with all his might.

Roy stumbled back and before he had time to curse his slip up, Edward was on his case again and he found himself evading another merciless barrage of attacks.

Alphonse, having become a climbing frame for Edana, the cat from the bush, what appeared to be five of her kittens, and a squirrel, cheered from the sidelines.

"C'mon, Roy! Get back at him! Don't let brother push you around!"

Roy took these words to heart and grabbed Edward's wrist during his incoming punch, twisting it to the side and bringing Edward to his knees.

The boy went limp, as if admitting defeat.

It was only after he'd loosened his grip that Roy remembered his training;

_"Watch out for the 'Play Dead' trick. It's when your opponent goes limp in an attempt to lower your guard and springs back after you."_

_Crap_, thought Roy as Edward slipped free of his grasp and sprang upwards in an uppercut that Roy barely evaded. It clipped past his fringe, sending a bead of perspiration flying.

Roy sprang back a short distance and their fight continued.

Forty-five minutes later, the match still hadn't subsided, or found a victor, although both combatants were beginning to tire.

Alphonse's entourage had expanded to include two sparrows, a butterfly, three grasshoppers, a beetle and a pigeon.

Roy brought up an arm to block an incoming elbow-strike, then another to defend a knife-hand strike, then darted forward with a left hook followed by an uppercut, both if which missed.

"Okay," Edward huffed. "I'm starting to think...that this fight...is gonna end in a tie."

Roy nodded in agreement, panting too hard to speak.

"Alright." Edward dropped his hands and Roy followed suit, both of them breathing heavily and drenched in sweat.

Roy padded a few steps away to sit near Alphonse and his newfound friends, then flopped onto the ground, huffing and gripping his side. "It's been a while...since I've had...to move like that. Ah, I got a stitch! Ouch!"

Edward sat down in the shade of a tree a couple of feet away and nodded, wiping sweat off his forehead with the corner of his singlet. "I have to admit, you're better at that than I thought you'd be."

Roy closed his eyes, smirking. "'The clever tiger hides it's claws.' Do you know what that means, Ed?"

"I've a pretty fair idea, yeah," came the response. "It's like saying 'Don't show the enemy all your tricks or they'll know what to expect', am I right?"

"Something along those lines," Roy said. "It's kind of like 'Keep your strongest points hidden and then you have the element of surprise'."

Edward nodded, understanding. "Like when you said, 'A soldier should always keep deception in his arsenal', right?"

"Right."

"You like those sayings, don't you?" Edward asked, lying back to enjoy the meager warmth of the winter sun.

Roy nodded.

Alphonse spoke next. "You're fighting's improved since we started, brother. Mine too."

"Yeah, by heaps. Teacher used to be able to beat us to death with her hands tied and blindfolded. I mean, she probably-no, _definitely_-still could, but the match might last a little longer."

"Yeah," Alphonse continued. "Remember, she used to send us both flying whilst reading a recipe book at the same time?"

"Pff, yup. I broke my nose once, remember that? Remember how much I shouted?" Edward laughed. "There was blood everywhere."

Alphonse sighed. "Y'know, that's not very funny."

"I think it's funny. Like that time when Teacher whacked you in the head with the book she was reading, and you cried so much..." Edward smirked. "That was pretty hilarious."

"Yeah, right," Alphonse retorted dryly. "You started laughing, and then Teacher turned on you and sent you right to the ground in about three seconds."

Edward let out another huff of laughter. "Looking back, it's all kinda funny..."

"So, the kids of today can find the humour in even violence," Roy commented with a smirk. "Makes me feel old because I can't."

Edward snorted, and Roy wasn't quite sure whether it was laughter or scepticism. Or both.

There was a brief silence.

"You wanna hear mine? My saying?" Edward said suddenly. "It's this; 'if you can ignore something, do it. If not, shout at it. If that doesn't work, attack it. If that doesn't work, reason with it. And if none of the above work, it's obviously a brick wall so transmute a door out of it.' Made that up myself," he finished smugly.

Roy was silent for a second. Then he said, "What if it's a broken arm?"

Alphonse piped up. "Brother would have eliminated that by step one."

"Broken leg?"

"Step one," the younger brother repeated.

"What about a life-threatening injury?"

Edward considered this. "I never took that into account before..." he answered slowly. "But I think it'll reach to about step two."

**So, what did you think? (It's short because there's only two chapters. )I'm pressing the 100 reviews thing some more, because... Do you know what next chapter is?**

**THE LAST CHAPTER! :O There's only one more chapter and the epilogue left! (Expect a long author note at the end of the story.)**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'LL BE REALLY SAD IF I DON'T GET 100 REVIEWS BY THE END!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Well, everyone... Here it is... The moment we've all been waiting for. The final chapter. THIS IS EXCITING. (For me, anyways.)**

**Chapter the-big-four-zero; Stupid and Illogical**

"So," Edward began. "That's it, then."

Roy, pulling his military jacket over a stark-white shirt, nodded. "I guess so."

The two of them stood at in the hallway, both donning familiar coats and cloaks, fixing hairstyles and inspecting zips, chains and buckles.

Alphonse was out back, Edward having forced him to farewell the beloved cat Edana. He was wistfully engaging in one last bout of play before letting the cat go on her way.

Dawson had come around later the day before, and announced that Roy was rid of his sickness and free to go.

Edward tightened the tie on the end of his braid and flicked the tightly-bound twist of blonde hair. "There."

Roy straightened his uniform, brushing supposed 'dust' from the already immaculate material. Satisfied that he was finally free of dirt, he then pulled on a long black coat over the top and placed a black hat over his ruffled hair.

His muscles protested at this movement, the sparring match with Edward yesterday having left them covered in bruises and that tag-along ache gnawing on his body.

"You left bruises all over me yesterday, you know that?" he said.

Edward grinned and flicked his head smugly. "Yay me."

More adjustments to clothes.

"Hey, Ed?"

"Yeah?"

"You use a lot of conditioner, do you know that?"

"...Huh?"

Roy smirked and Edward looked at him, his face a comical expression of confusion and bafflement. "Well, I sorta have to. 'Cuz if I don't, it's hard to braid and then it gets in my eyes..."

_So that_ is _why_, Roy thought, pleased at his own cleverness.

"Here," he said airily, shoving a red woollen hat on Edward's head. "That ought to keep your ears from getting frostbitten."

Edward mumbled a muffled thanks and Roy snorted in laughter as his 'antenna' snapped out between the stitches with a loud _twang._

Alphonse came clanking down the hallway, exuding an aura of depression.

"I hope she'll be okay on her own," he murmured. "I hope she finds a nice home to live in."

"Don't worry, Alphonse," Roy said encouragingly. "If she's even half as much like your brother as you say, she won't be easy knock off."

Alphonse sighed. "But still..."

"That cat'll be fine, Al," Edward said dismissively. "And besides, I found a new lead on the stone whilst looking through the data in Mustang here's study. There's record of an old research lab up north and I wanna check it out. It's prob'ly nothing, but there's no harm in trying, y'know?"

Alphonse nodded resignedly. "Okay."

"And the train to the closest village to it leaves in just under an hour, so I wanna get going soon!" Edward told him, throwing his hands on his hips.

Alphonse brightened a little at the prospect of moving on to a different location, and nodded. "Sounds good to me. Did you plan where we're going to stay when we get there? When the next train back is? What about cold weather clothing? We mightn't be going the whole way up north but I hear it's still pretty cold up there."

Edward snorted and closed his eyes, shrugging lightly. "Who needs plans? We'll just make a move on getting there, and figure it out as we go!"

Roy shook his head exasperatedly, sighing. "If you haven't planned accommodations, Ed, what are you going to eat?"

Edward frowned. "Hadn't thought of that."

Roy shook his head in disbelief. "'Those who fail to plan, plan to fail', or so they say. If you want _any_ mission to be a success, planning is key. You need to know all the little details, and then you can safely assume-"

Edward cut him off, saying sarcastically, "Thanks for the tip, _King Strategy_. But who needs a plan when you're an alchemist? I'll just transmute something."

"Where exactly are you going?" Roy asked.

"A place called Yaskar," Edward replied. "There's an old military base just north-east of it."

Roy thought for a minute. "Yaskar, eh? Well, there's a little motel there called 'Riley's' and I'm sure you could scavenge some food from the general store across the road from it. And-" Roy threw a red scarf at Edward's head, followed by thick white gloves and another hat. "-take those. It might not be as far north as Fort Briggs or anything, but I've been there and your brother's damn right; it's bloody well freezing."

Edward pulled the scarf off his face, saying "I can buy my own clothes, you know."

Roy denied this. "Keep them. Red isn't really my colour and they're too small for me now, anyway."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET SO SMALL YOU COULD MUMMIFY HIM WITH A STRAND OF WOOL TWO CENTIMETRES IN LENGTH?!"

"Once again," Alphonse started. "No-one said that."

Edward scowled, then looked towards the door. "Well then, Al, I suppose we should get on with it."

"Alright."

Roy opened the door and the two Elric brothers stepped out, Alphonse standing behind Edward.

"Thank you very much for your hospitality, sir," Alphonse said, bowing over as much as possible with his body.

"Yeah, thanks," Edward added.

Roy nodded in acknowledgement. "You're welcome. And if anything, it should be me thanking you. If it weren't for you, Edward, who knows? I could be dead."

Edward hoisted his suitcase up over his shoulder, his face strangely expressionless. "Mm."

_It feels weird now_, he thought. _To be leaving this place. It feels kinda like home now... Huh. Home..._

A charred wooden skeleton.

_Is this really okay? _Edward thought to himself. _Can we really do this? I mean, we burned our real home down to make sure we'd never go back. But now... What's to say I won't just keep coming back here?_

He looked behind himself at the mailbox, recalling the first night, when he'd arrived here.

He'd looked at that thing with such disdain, thinking how ridiculously coincidental it was that he should have to come to the one man he'd sought to shout at earlier that very day and ask him for help.

And now, looking back on it all, he could trace the whole series of events up to that point and say, _Perhaps there is such a thing as 'luck' after all._

Because if he hadn't been beaten about so badly on his last mission, he mightn't have been in such a foul temper when he'd arrived back.

And then he wouldn't have decided to go hound the Colonel on perhaps the day that was about to be the coldest, foggiest, rainiest day in the history of East City, and then be wouldn't have had to ask the man for a lift to the hotel.

And if he hadn't been stumbling around the streets in the rain for two hours, he wouldn't have came across the man's house.

And because of this, he was the one to discover Roy's sickness, and was the one to help him.

And, according to Roy, if he hadn't been there, the man would have died.

And all of these random events led up to Edward having found a new...well, father-figure.

It was odd. A seemingly foreign thing to the boy, having something good come out of something bad.

Well, actually, a lot of bad things.

Edward smiled to himself, and thought, _Pure coincidence...? Or luck?_

He looked back to Roy, who cocked his head and said, "What? Something on my face?"

Edward shook his head. "Nah. Just thinking."

_No. Home won't become my weakness. Because there's this guy. I sorta feel like I gotta prove something to him... So I can't give up!_

"Well, Al, let's get going," he said, turning on his heel. "Seeya later, Mustang."

"Bye, Edward, Alphonse." Roy watched the two boys make their way down the steps to the footpath, and a thought struck him.

"Hey, Edward!" he called out.

"Yeah?"

"If you ever get cold again, you're welcome back here, you know!" Roy shouted. "Because I hear it can get pretty much freezing cold doing what you do!"

Edward looked back at him, golden eyes alight with surprise and a slight feeling of delight.

"Okay! I'll keep that in mind!" he called back.

He turned and ran to catch up with Alphonse, who was standing a few feet ahead of him.

"What did he mean by that, big brother?" Alphonse asked.

Edward shrugged lightly. "Dunno."

Some truths were better kept to yourself. It wasn't lying.

The two continued down the road in silence, Alphonse contemplating the cryptic meaning of Roy's parting words and Edward relishing a happy glow spreading in his chest.

"A-choo!"

"Big brother, did you just...?"

"Sneeze? No. I most certainly did not."

"You're a terrible liar sometimes."

"Well, obviously not now 'cuz I'm telling the truth."

"You just sneezed."

"Did not!"

"Yes, you did. You should get that checked out; it could be the same thing the Colonel had."

"You should get your ears checked, Al!"

"I don't have any ears."

"I swear Al, I so did not just snee-a-ahatychoo!"

"That's it, brother, I'm taking you to the doctor before we leave!"

"No way! I'm not going there! Uh-uh! No way, Jose! Never!"

"You're going, whether you like it or not!"

"Make me!"

"Brother! Come back here!"

"WAH-CHOO!"

"You did it again!"

"That-that was somebody else!"

"We're the only ones here! Now stop running away, you big baby!"

"_You're_ a baby!"

"I'm not the one who's scared of the doctor!

"I AIN'T SCARED OF THE DOCTOR!"

"Then why're you running away?!"

"I'M NOT! IT'S A TACTICAL RETREAT!"

"BROTHER! Come back here right now!"

"YA'LL HAFTA CATCH ME FIRST!"

**Epilogue (I know this story never had a prologue, but what the heck. I am a genius, the epilogue is amazing and stuff...stuff.)**

"Over here! Over here! Colonel Mustang! More paperwork for you!"

Roy sighed loudly as another stack of paperwork was thumped down onto his desk.

The noise level in the office today could be compared to that of a jet plane taking off.

If jet planes had ever existed in that time and place.

Let's just say it was loud.

Very loud.

Bits of paper were flying all over the place, people were shouting, radio parts, cigarettes (and the odd kitten) were ricocheting off the walls, gunshots were fired.

Havoc shot from room to room like a human cannonball, carrying stacks of paperwork back and forth.

Roy scribbled his name on page after page after page, his writing scrawling across at a dangerous speed, so fast he thought for sure his wrist would break.

Hawkeye stood behind him with a gun trained on the back of his head, yawning.

Roy could have sworn that the friction of his pens on the paper set the ink on fire.

Yes, pens. He was ferociously printing his signature over and over with...two different hands.

"Fifteen minutes to deadline, sir!" Fuery called out as he ran past, dumping another load of paperwork onto the Colonel's desk.

"Crap, crap, crap!" Roy hissed, shoving a different stack aside.

"Havoc!" he barked. "This pile, Foreign Affairs Office, five minutes ago! And this one! State Alchemist Branch, THREE DAYS AGO!"

"Yes, sir!" Havoc panted, snatching the piles and running from the room, trying rather unsuccessfully to light a smoke as he went.

Hawkeye's gun fired again and Roy jumped, squeaking his surprise and anticipating a bullet-hole in his ear.

Instead, it was Havoc's cigarette on the receiving end of the sharp-eyed Lieutenant's wrath; the thing had been blown to smithereens whilst still perched in it's owner's mouth.

"If you accidentally set that stack on fire with your cigarette, Second Lieutenant," Hawkeye said threateningly. "Your head will be next."

Havoc gulped, shuddering, then sped from the room with sheets flying in his wake.

Roy sighed, rubbing his forehead.

_Click._ He felt something cold and metallic being pressed into the back of his skull.

Hawkeye's gun.

"Get it done," the Lieutenant ordered, her tone deathly low.

"Yes ma'am!" Roy exclaimed, in quite a high pitch, slamming his pen into the paper and ripping into it, scrawling furiously at this...whatever this piece of paper signified.

And order was restored to Eastern command.

Well, as much order as it had ever possessed.

* * *

Roy arrived home, his wrists screaming in pain. His hands almost refused to obey his commands, and could hardly even open the front door.

And he was _starving_. To _death_.

He stomped through the house to the kitchen, throwing his cloak and jacket at the coat-rack. He snatched two slices of bread and heading for the toaster.

Dragons, snakes and skulls.

Edward had never bothered to return the toaster to it's original state.

Roy huffed in laughter, putting the toast inside the thing. "That boy... He's an odd one, alright. And I was right; he didn't leave this house the same way as he found it. He left it...better."

He sat down, massaging his wrists. "He's like that... Just the way I was. You know, I always wondered...what he would be like as an adult."

Would the boy have any more common sense?

Would he ever get any taller?

Would he ever learn any patience?

Roy buttered his toast, thinking, _Not unless there's someone to teach him. And I might just be able to help with all that... Except for his height. I'm pretty sure all hope is lost in that department._

* * *

Meanwhile, Alphonse had managed to bring (more like kidnap and drag) Edward, peacefully (more like kicking and screaming), to the doctor's (in Edward's words exactly; 'The bringers of pain, terror and all things evil and horrifying') for a check-up (session of torture).

I'll leave it to you readers and your twisted minds to imagine for yourself what went down.

All I'll say is that there was a lot of loud banging.

Eighteen doctors were involved.

* * *

Both of the aforementioned alchemists looked at the same time, Roy out the window and Edward up at the sky, and saw a sight that they both thought was strangely beautiful, yet slightly intimidating given what had happened during the past few days.

Something sharp, yet soft, dangerous, yet gentle, smothering, yet light, biting, yet fresh.

Freezing cold, yet warming.

The first snow of winter.

Roy set down the glass of alcohol he'd been sipping on, his eyebrows rising a little at the sight. "Huh."

He stretched his arms, standing up.

_Diin-dong!_

It was Riza, dressed in casual. "Hi."

There was no 'sir'.

"Hi," Roy responded.

"Sorry I held you at gunpoint," Riza apologised, her eyes full of genuine concern.

Roy smiled. "That's okay. I probably wouldn't have finished my paperwork if you hadn't. Coming in?"

She stepped inside, and Roy looked behind her at the drifting snow.

_Beautiful_, he thought. He looked back at Riza. _Both of them._

_"_Miaow!"

Roy looked down.

There was Edana. The cat raised it's tail and blinked in greeting before padding into the house and down the hallway, acting like she owned the place.

Riza laughed at the Colonel's baffled expression and the man closed the door, hoping that the cat's behaviour wasn't an omen of what to expect from her human counterpart.

The two Elric brothers had been walking down a street, heatedly discussing the mishaps during Edward's check-up.

Luckily for the young alchemist, he'd only contracted a minor cold and had received the all clear for a trip to Yaskar.

"There was still no reason for you to _bite_ that poor man...!" Alphonse's voice drifted into background noise.

Edward stared in amazement at the light white flakes tumbling down from the sky and his amber-gold eyes widened.

_Wow,_ he thought, slightly awestruck. Seeing something so pure in a place so grey and dirty was a real cleansing sight, and he blinked a couple of times before breaking into a smile.

"Look, Al," Edward breathed. "Snow."

Alphonse glanced up, following Edward's gaze. "Don't try and change the subject, broth-oh!"

The two brothers stood and looked at the stuff, mesmerized.

"I've never seen snow like this before," Edward mumbled. "Not even in the country. It's so _white_..."

Alphonse nodded in agreement. "Yeah..."

Edward took the glove off his flesh hand and held it out. A flake landed there, a prickle of cold against his warm palm, and melted almost immediately, transforming into a small droplet of water.

Alphonse held out a hand too, and a few flakes settled on it. However, they didn't melt, they just stayed there, stuck to the metal and thick material of his hands.

Edward looked back and caught this.

"Soon, Al," he murmured, slipping his glove back on. "Soon."

"Mm-hm," Alphonse responded, lowering his hand. He walked up behind his brother, who flipped up his hood and smiled, humming.

"Brother, that song you're humming..."

"What about it?"

"What is it?"

"You don't remember?" Edward said, turning. "I'm surprised. You always said those lullabies were what you remembered the most..."

"It sounds familiar. And the Colonel was humming the same tune the other day," Alphonse said.

"Well," Edward muttered. "You were really little."

Alphonse cocked his head quizzically.

"Mom used to sing it to us as a lullaby," Edward explained. "It was called 'Freezing Cold', I think."

"What were the words?" Alphonse queried. "Can you sing it? I want to hear it so I can see if I remember it."

Edward cringed. "I can't sing."

"Sure you can. Just try. It doesn't even have to sound good; I just wanna hear it."

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"I said no!"

"C'mon, brother! _Please!_"

Edward blushed, rubbing the back of his head bashfully. "Oh, fine, fine..."

Alphonse jumped a little, excited. "Yeah! Thank you!"

Edward squirmed, a furious blush infesting his face. "I think it went a little like this;

_Don't cry, little one,  
Don't cry, when you're cold.  
No, don't cry, no, don't cry,  
In the freezing cold._

_For I will be there,  
I'll be there, when you're cold,  
I won't leave you out, leave you out,  
In the freezing cold._

_I'll hold you tight,  
Hold you tight, when you're cold,  
I'll warm you up, warm you up,  
In the freezing cold._

_And we will laugh,  
We will laugh, when you're warm,  
We'll have fun, we'll have fun,  
Out of the freezing cold,_

_Out of the freezing cold,_

_Out of the freezing cold."_

Edward finished, then rammed his hands into his pockets and muttered, "I forbid you to tell _anyone_ what you just heard!"

Alphonse had stopped walking. "Big brother..."

"What?" Edward replied huffily.

"Looks like you did inherit something from mom," Alphonse said quietly. "You sing just like her."

Edward went red all over again. "Oh, shut up."

* * *

**Omake!**

_HOOONK!_

A chibi sprite stands before you, two spikes of brown-blonde bangs poking from the sides of it's head and a loose, messy braid done behind it. It boasts a flowing, deep blue cloak and a black karate uniform underneath. It grins, boasting pointy white teeth and waves a party whistle at you.

"Heya!" it says. "Thanks for reading the whole way to the end! As a reward, you get this meeting with the author's sprite! Zakuro!"

It drops the goofy grin and says solemnly, "First I wanna thank everyone who left me a review, because I appreciated them all and they were all good. And to everyone who followed or favourited, thanks a ton."

You blink in bafflement, wondering why the author bothered to write this stupid omake.

Zakuro continues. "This is, in fact, my first real story to have been read by more than five people. Exciting, huh?The first person to hear it was, of course, my little sis. So, to all you out there reading this, shake the hand of the person who's gonna be a famous writer someday!"

The chibi, Zakuro, launches itself at you and shakes your hand vigorously, whilst you remain a little baffled, sweat-dropping.

Zakuro then calms down a little and steps back. "I really hope I can make the last ten reviews to my goal in this ending chapter. So please help! I would really like for everyone who listed this as a favourite story to leave me a review telling me thanks, what you liked, what I could have done better, what you want me to next or something like that. Thank you and see you soon!"

The sprite claps it's hands, transmutes a rainbow out of a puddle and flies away on it, leaving you dumbstruck.

You hear a distant cry of, "HUGHES IS AWESOME!"

**End omake.**

* * *

**Woah. This is the end. Thanks SO much for reading everyone! And to everyone who faved and followed right from the first chapter, thanks even more! (I don't want to name you directly, in case anyone gets sad because I forgot them or something like that...) YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!**

**Glad I managed to inspire you and make you feel a whole buncha stuff, and that you loved it and EVERYTHING! As always, REVEEOOOOOOOOOW!**

**(P. S., Keep an eye out for my other stories! There'll be another Parental!RoyEd up soon, and I beat up Roy quite a bit in one of the next few chapters of 'All is one - A Series of Things.)**


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